August 8, 2014 at 11:52 am #62889Diego GarciaParticipant
Folks need your help!
I love my girlfriend and I had a fight with her yesterday because she wanted to go for yoga classes. The point is not the yoga itself but the fact She found out a school that ( actually a brand of schools) which the “guru” or master as he call himself teaches tantric sex( I don´t know what if “teaching tantric sex” are the correct words). I google it and found out that one of interviews he said that you can have a partner and do the “exercises” with someone else. This is the kind of philosophy that the guy teaches ( there are “others” teachings). I don´t know nothing about yoga or tantric sex..So I don´t know if those guys are going to influence her in this way of polygamy (I don´t know if I am over reacting) I really does not want that for myself to see her going to “that kind of philosophy” ( Again I may over reacting, don´t know) but if that is true…I may find my ways with somebody else. I need your advice…August 8, 2014 at 1:16 pm #62892JordanParticipant
Does it specifically say tantric sex or tantric yoga? Tantra envolopes many things, and only part of it has to do with sex. Tantra is a practice of liberation, and sex is one means (but not the only means) to achieve this. It is quite common in the west to think of sex when thinking of tantra, but you must be careful.
Maybe try and find out exactly what this tantra practice considers? Maybe you will find it has nothing to do with sex. If it does have to do with sex, find out why she is doing it. Maybe she is unhappy with her sexual life, and is trying to find a way to improve it. You should get the full story before you do anything.August 8, 2014 at 4:24 pm #62898MattParticipant
I have had a tantric teacher, and we never had sex… and it certainly had nothing to do with polyamory.
Consider joining her, like taking the class together. The best way to approach fear is head on, in my opinion, and right now, perhaps you’re jumping to conclusions without any information. At worst, you’ll find out you’re not interested and move on, and at best, you could find your love life a lot more sparkly, with a partner that is enthusiastic about it.
Any reasons you don’t want to take the classes with her, whatever she’s aiming at? If she’s interested, why aren’t you?
MattAugust 11, 2014 at 5:26 am #63067WillParticipant
I think you may be over-reacting slightly. I’ve done some tantric yoga and it was just a bunch of breathing exercises, nothing all that sexy! 🙂
I think the suggestion of going with her is a good one. It will give you some idea of what she’s doing and you can talk about what she enjoys about it and help calm your fears a little. Or, if it does feel a bit sleazy and too free-lovey for your tastes, then you can talk to her about that and point out specific things that people said or whatever it was that rubbed you the wrong way. An informed conversation is generally a good idea.
Good luck!August 12, 2014 at 9:21 am #63191Diego GarciaParticipant
I am going throught a knee issue right now. I am under treatment. That´s why I don´t go with her. Any help?August 12, 2014 at 9:27 am #63192WillParticipant
OK, fair enough.
I would say, apologise for throwing a fit, explain that you have these concerns, hear her out when she explains her side of the story, and let her go to yoga class. It comes down to trust in the end, they’re not going to brainwash her. Even if they do teach a polygamous philosophy, she’s still your girlfriend. Let her tell you about what the classes are like, and how she feels about doing sexual “excercises” with someone (if it came to that!) and so on.
Explain what you want, listen to what she wants, find a reasonable compromise. Again, your initial reaction was probably an over-reaction. Good luck, man.August 12, 2014 at 10:56 am #63199MattParticipant
In addition to Will’s kindhearted advice, consider talking to the instructor about your knee issue, the nature of the class, and so forth. Some yoga classes are stretchy and bendy, some are more aimed at helping us understand the energy of our body. Plus, yoga with a knee issue isn’t a deal breaker, there are often alternatives for such circumstances. Consider, you could check with your doctor and the instructor, and even if its recommended that you do not participate, you’ll win some brownie points with the GF, and find out more about the class. Win-win! 🙂
MattAugust 12, 2014 at 10:36 pm #63252louiseParticipant
Why did you get angry?