fbpx
Menu

Gut feeling that won't go away

HomeForumsRelationshipsGut feeling that won't go away

New Reply
Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #282545
    Alister Crowley
    Participant

    My situation is similar to others I have read but I can’t seem to shake this feeling I get when my girlfriend/wife to be goes and hangs out with her exlover/best friend.  I am not one to be super jealous and I am usually very good at understanding my rmotions/feelings. The problem I have is whenever she goes to hang out with her friend I am not allowed to be apart of it. The reasons n being he doesn’t like making friends and is antisocial, this person also deals medical marijuana and it’s not legal. I get it. He is afraid of being caught. My issue is simple if there is nothing going on between them behind closed doors then why not invite me? I have recently found deleted texts between them that she has told me she did because of my feelings about this and those texts pretty much confirmed my suspicions. I don’t care about being lied to its just that it keeps going on and makes me crazy…i love her to death but I am feeling very hurt by this. I am looking for some insight into why I feel so strongly about this. She also swears they don’t mess around but the texts proved otherwise….what do I do?  I don’t want to prevent her from hanging out with her friend but I also don’t like this secrecy.  Any advice or am I just insane???

    #282563
    Michelle
    Participant

    My personal belief is that our intuition can often act like a superpower. In reflecting on my life, and experiences where it provided warning (that I didn’t listen to), I now realize it was right. I don’t doubt that yours is warning you.

    More context to your relationship is probably needed but from what you’ve written, I feel like something is definitely going on. You have the texts that prove it, much less the bad feeling you have. You can confront her or you can continue to look the other way. Often we look the other way because we are scared of the unknown that the confrontation may bring (but surely it is better than being deceived and disrespected).

    Ask yourself what kind of life you want to live and the answers may come to you. Trust, honesty and communication are essential pillars of any successful relationship though. Don’t deny yourself those basic needs.

    #282565
    rockrose
    Participant

    I question why you would want to be in a relationship where boundaries are not respected. I’m not talking about your partner. I’m speaking on your end.

    Before anything else, I would ask myself this: Why would I want to be in a relationship where I’m searching through the other person’s texts? Why would I want to be in a relationship where each person may not feel free to hang out with friends?

    Those are the real questions you should be considering before any other.

    #282571
    Valora
    Participant

    I feel like there may be some boundaries being crossed in your relationship. You may not want want to care that she hangs out with this person alone, but the fact is that you DO care and it makes you uncomfortable, and your gf/fiance should respect that. At the very least, she should include you. If she’s deleting texts, she’s hiding things from you, which is not a good sign.

    Also, you said “I don’t care about being lied to,” but I think that is something you very much should care about in this case, because being lied to, especially when it comes to an ex-lover, is a breach of trust. We all tell lies from time to time to not hurt others’ feelings (like “I love your new haircut!” even when it actually looks awful), but there are some things that should just not be lied about in a relationship, and that’s one of those things.

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.