Dear Thomas,
For your difficult times, i am sharing two quotes for you:
“When no intermediary, no method, and no ‘plan for tomorrow’ remains, that smooth void left behind is you yourself.” Jiddu Krishnamurti
“Forget everything about your mind completely; toss aside those grand stories of seeking! What remains is solely and purely the unadorned, steadfast nakedness of the ‘I Am’ feeling. And when you step even behind that nakedness, releasing that feeling entirely—the spotless void that remains is your very eternal home!” Nisargadatta Maharaj
Best,