Dear Isabella:

You wrote at the beginning of your post: “Hello, In my life I have been through many tragedies with men”-

You are only 18 and this was man you were in a relationship for almost two years was your first love, you wrote, so I wonder what you mean by “many tragedies with men”- not men you dated, I understand?

If you clarify, it will help me attend to and understand better the rest of your post.

anita

This is something you’ll learn from, you’ll become much stronger. You’re still young, the thing is you have to understand you still have lessons to learn and even if it sounds scary or it hurts hearing this, you will still go through disappointments in relationships, you’ll go through some breakups again, even if you don’t believe it. I’m 22, I thought my last relationship will never come to an end because of all those feelings and future plans and how he loved me and etc..And now here I am, single and hurt again, going through a breakup I never thought will happen. I know how much it hurts, trust me. But this will make us stronger, we have to learn our lessons so we won’t go through the same pattern again, so we won’t repeat the same mistakes.

Hi Isabella,

I’m sorry to hear you are going through this. After reading your post, I don’t feel it is the “end”. It’s only been two weeks. He is young. I know with my first love, he would get scared, things were going so well, then out of nowhere, he would break it off.

My heart was broken. I just wanted to go to some lonely island. I was only 19, very much in love, and my world turned upside down. I was completely devastated. Then out of nowhere, a few months, he came back, saying he made a mistake, and proposed to me. Sometimes, men just get scared, or want a break to process their thoughts and feelings, but they don’t know how to tell you, so they just break it off. I would give it time. Try to keep busy. He may come back and have a change of heart. Keep us posted.

Hello. Maybe he will come back. But would you still want someone who left you? I don’t know what to say, you have to think of what you want too. I mean, don’t just take him back in case he would come back just because you want him back… For me, hoping for a “miracle” only made me relive the breakup everytime I was reminded this is over for good. That’s why I don’t want you to hope, cause you’ll just not get over it like this and you’ll prolong your pain…for what? Ok boy, you decided you don’t want this anymore, bye. I know you care so much and you still love him but all of this is causing you pain. Don’t continue to hurt yourself for someone who decided they want to be single…Nobody deserves this, but that’s life. Think of what you want for yourself and what you want from a boy in the future.

Hi Isabella,

I believe, everyone makes mistakes. Now, if he did this again, or if he did this over and over, than, of course no, I would not go back to someone. But I have had friends who’s boyfriends, left them, came back, and they have been happily married for six years. I’m just saying, there is always hope if you still love him, and men/women take back people who left them all the time. I guess it’s forgiving. But, if the person has a habit of doing this, no, I would not take them back. Ultimately, the decision is yours.

Dear Isabella:

I agree with Coconut, you see he may or may not come back but as for right now the reality is that he isn’t coming back. So would holding onto this hope change anything right now? Would it improve the situation that you’re in right now? I think the answer is no. The best thing you can do is like Coconut said cutting off contact. I must admit that it will be extremely hard and my heart goes out to you but this is the best way. You may experience feelings of regret and wonder if he would’ve came back already if you didn’t stop talking to him but would the relationship really be the same & last if he came back? and do you want to be with someone that has left you once? If he did it once he could do it twice and you may live in fear of losing him again which wouldn’t be a very healthy relationship.

Let him come back on his own.

Once you cut off all contact and moved on you’ll either realize that you don’t need him anymore or he may return upon realization that he lost such a precious woman and once the opportunity arises you could choose to let him back into your life or not, based on where you stand in life then. But as for right now that opportunity isn’t there, so please heal yourself (-: people keep changing he may change again but you are human too and are capable of changing too!

Like I said, let him come back on his own, don’t stay friends with him just to hold onto a certain connection hoping that it’ll grow to more again. If it was meant to be he’ll crawl back with or without friendship. (I would go for without friendship as you would hurt yourself less and nothing would change the him that he is now.)

Stay strong!

Liz