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Help! Feeling like such a loser

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  • August 5, 2014 at 6:26 pm #62722
    yoda428
    Participant

    Ugh!!! Why? I guess I’m not trying hard enough. I feel so dejected right now it’s almost unbearable. I tried to cosign for my daughters student loan and got denied because of bad credit. Then I went on to check my bank balance because rent is due tomorrow and realized when I made an online payment the other day I hit submit without changing the default value which was $300 instead of the $75 I was going to do. OH GOD!! Why would that happen to me when I’m trying to do my best? That must be a lie because I’m not doing my best and I totally suck at finances. I make good money and have NOTHING to show for it. I don’t over spend or I’m not out doing some addictive behavior – I just owe a lot from a divorce and I have child support and on and on…..

    What is the answer? I try to get things under control – I was even making a more concerted effort this week and POW – huge mistake with the online payment – rent due tomorrow and now I have to tell my daughter that her school loan got denied because her dad is a screw up with bad credit. Could I suck anymore? DAMN IT! Where is the blessing in this – where is my flippin silver lining here? ARE YOU EVEN SERIOUS? SHIT!

    August 5, 2014 at 6:32 pm #62724
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    Hi Yoda428

    Your post put a huge smile on my face. Thanks for that 🙂

    Calm down, will yah ? Go easy on self. It is not the end of the world. The silver lining is that you came on TB and you will get lots of advices on how to turn things around for yourself.

    I have one simple principle in life: If you are nice to yourself, no one in the world can be nasty to us including external circumstances or situations. You need to be kind to yourself mate. Shit happens. So what ? Just keep flowing 🙂 If you find it hard to flow with how your life is then try and find some people or countries who have got it harder than you. It will bring you back to earth and reality.

    You are awesome whether you choose to believe it or not as yet.

    Best wishes,

    Jasmine

    August 5, 2014 at 10:16 pm #62732
    yoda428
    Participant

    Wow! This evening got worse for me. So maybe I’m over thinking this but my rant earlier…..was it self absorbed and pitiful?

    I get this text from a friend whom I recently re-connected with from years ago and he says….

    “I guess you don’t have much need for my friendship since I only hear from you when you’re struggling. Take care.”

    So, is it true, maybe a little, maybe a lot but then he says….

    “I’ve struggled for years and manage to think of others…..that’s not condemnation that love bro.” What?

    I want to be able to own my stuff and I get where he’s coming from but is that not superiority or what? That’s Love Bro????

    Am I way off base – is this night a wake up call for me. Am I a horrible person? That just seems mean what this guy said.

    Any thoughts? Should I start a new thread for things like this?

    August 6, 2014 at 12:25 am #62736
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    Hi Yoda428 @yoda428

    I am sorry that your friend wrote such a message to you.

    If I were you, I would appreciate that feedback and make a mental note of remembering this friend more often (even when things are going good for you). He is obviously wanting your friendship. Give it to him, Bro 🙂

    Again, I have a simple way of looking at feedback from others – if it makes sense to me without hurting my ego, I take it on board and make a mental note. If it hurts my ego and forces me to question myself and my motives, I sit on it until the anger dies down. Then I reassess the situation.

    Every feedback, incident, situation, circumstance and person can teach us something valuable, which will help us become better version of self. The choice remains in your hands to take it as a criticism or a stepping stone 🙂

    Cheer up Bro !!! It aint so bad and you are not a horrible person nor is he. You both are awesome in your own ways.

    August 8, 2014 at 7:16 pm #62910
    BenzRabbit
    Participant

    Hi Yoda,

    We go through bad periods in our lives when it feels like everything is going wrong !

    If you take appropriate steps, the bad periods pass !!

    Please begin by reading these 3 articles:
    http://www.wikihow.com/Survive-a-Personal-Financial-Crisis
    http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Stop-Feeling-Self-Pity-Ask-Deepak
    http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/lettinggo/2012/03/10-reasons-why-its-stupid-to-ever-feel-sorry-for-yourself.html#

    God bless !

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