- This topic has 54 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 2 years ago by
Tee.
-
AuthorPosts
-
December 2, 2022 at 10:49 pm #411128
humourParticipantDear Tee,
Thank you for the book recommendations. I will go through it and the topics on the internet.
“it seems to me that you have suffered from a whole lot of stress for a long, long time, which led to your concentration difficulties, lots of confusion, stress headaches, depression and poor memory.”
Yes Anita. Headaches have become a lot lesser and no signs of depression but the other things you mentioned are there I think. I don’t understand if the way I perceive myself is the way people perceive me or how I should behave at my age and so on.
December 3, 2022 at 1:52 am #411130
TeeParticipantDear humour,
you’re very welcome.
the other things you mentioned are there I think. I don’t understand if the way I perceive myself is the way people perceive me or how I should behave at my age and so on.
If you grew up separately from your mother and had no interaction with her as a child, then one thing that was missing was the s0-called mirroring. The baby reaches out, and the parent responds to the baby’s gestures. Or the baby cries, and the parent soothes her. The baby smiles, and the parent smiles back. That’s called mirroring.
If there is no one there to mirror us (to respond to our signals, our communication), I think one of the consequences is that we don’t know ourselves. We don’t know how others perceive us because we weren’t “perceived” (seen and mirrored) properly by our parents or care-takers.
So if that’s what happened to you, you’d need mirroring. You would need someone to see you and respond to you. I think the best way to do it is within a therapeutic relationship because a good therapist is (among many other things) a safe mirror. So that you slowly get that feedback, i.e. response to the signals you give out…
December 3, 2022 at 6:20 am #411132humourParticipantYou have beautifully worded what I was unable to express. Thank you Tee! I will work on some of the solutions you all have suggested.
December 3, 2022 at 8:52 am #411136
AnonymousGuestDear humour:
“Yes Anita. Headaches have become a lot lesser and no signs of depression“- I am glad that your headaches have become a lot lesser and that there is no sign of depression!
“but the other things you mentioned are there, I think“- the other things I mentioned were concentration difficulties, lots of confusion and poor memory.
At the end of my previous post to you, the one you responded to 10 hours ago, I asked you if you grew up without a mother, and/ or without adequate physical touch, but you didn’t answer or respond to my question. Is it because you didn’t notice my question (because of concentration difficulties), or because you read my question but forgot it by the time you responded (because of poor memory)?
*It is your right to not answer my questions, of course, and it’s fine with me (I do not expect answers). I am asking the above just in case it may be helpful for you to consider.
anita
December 3, 2022 at 1:11 pm #411157humourParticipantAt the end of my previous post to you, the one you responded to 10 hours ago, I asked you if you grew up without a mother, and/ or without adequate physical touch, but you didn’t answer or respond to my question. Is it because you didn’t notice my question (because of concentration difficulties), or because you read my question but forgot it by the time you responded (because of poor memory)?
It feels a little vague for me Anita. We have never had a meal together etc. My mother did the best she can buy trying to make up for the quarrels but there was lack of communication, emotional bonding, guidance etc. I am unable to express myself clearly.
December 3, 2022 at 1:25 pm #411160AnonymousGuestDear humour:
Thank you for replying to me and for explaining it to me as clearly as you are able!
anita
December 4, 2022 at 12:32 am #411277TeeParticipantDear humour,
you are very welcome! If you are able to financially, do look into therapy because I think that would help you tremendously. Take care, dear humour!
December 5, 2022 at 3:32 am #411331humourParticipantDear Anita & Tee,
Thank you so much for your time, patience, tips provided and for the valuable resources mentioned:)
December 5, 2022 at 7:11 am #411336AnonymousGuestYou are welcome, humour, and you are also welcome to post again anytime!
anita
December 6, 2022 at 9:39 am #411412TeeParticipantDear humour,
you are very welcome! I hope those resources will be helpful to you. If you have any questions, please write. Wishing you all the best!
-
AuthorPosts
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 