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helpless in a cruel world

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  • #61725
    Laia
    Participant

    I guess this comes under spirituality.

    I am starting to lose faith a little. I have never really suffered depression or anything so how i am feeling is not connected to that but I feel really bummed out. There is a deep seated anger within me which is always kind of bubbling and I seem to get frustrated much easier these days. Other people frustrate me. I see a lot of laziness and apathy in my work place. People not doing their jobs properly and that affect rippling out over my company. Having to deal with my partners family. I am moving so far away from religion that i can not listen to religious folk preach to me. I hate the hypocracy and the fear based adoration. Some of the things I hear particulary from my partners mother and even his young brother who is only 10 years old, well it worries me and angers me. She is constantly forcing her opinions on me. And on the other hand judging me and everyone around her. And yet she makes no attempt to become self aware. She feels she is better than everyone else because she attends Church and follows the bible. I am so tired of listening to that hatefilled dogma

    Then I turn on the news or go on the internet and all I see is hate, war, pain. Dead children. Governments detaining their own people and torturing them. ////////Ok you get the picture. I could go on and on in my rant. But this is all in my head and my heart. I am tired of pretending its all ok because it really isn’t. And the worst thing is i feel so helpless.

    i am losing my faith in humanity. I have lost my faith in God totally and i don’t think it will ever come back , nor do I want it.. I know there are lots of good in this world. Lots of beauty. And I do believe in higher forces shall i say because I have felt a very devine connection many times. I just wish it would end. I don’t mean me, my life. I mean all this hate, anger, control through fear. Awful governments who don’t care about anything but cash. And that we could all just be a wee bit kinder, more loving to one another

    Does anyone else struggle with these thoughts and feelings, If so how to do you deal with them constructively. i don’t want to just distract myself with technology. Nor do i want to start an unprising. I just want to let go of the anger and hopelessness I face.

    i think i need a hug.x

    #61726
    The Ruminant
    Participant

    Hello Laia!

    Consider yourself hugged 🙂

    I do personally struggle with those thoughts and feelings. I can become incredibly frustrated and aggravated because of those very same issues that you are facing. Well, not the exact same. I’m not in touch with your partner’s mother 🙂 But I can understand what you are going through, and you have my sympathies.

    I reflected for a moment on when those frustrations arise in me and when they do not bother me as much. When I focus on something that is within my control, I feel free and happy. When I do some self-care, as an example. When I just take some time to deal with my own issues and see the progress that I’m making. The focus is in my own life. It is as if I am crafting something with my own hands, slowly working on creating something out of my life. But then when I look up and around and I see all the chaos and the focus all of a sudden spreads to other people’s lives, I start to feel anxious and even angry out of frustration. It is as if my brain is trying to do all that same healing on what I am experiencing, but obviously can’t do it, because it is no longer about me and my mind and my body. When I start to get really overwhelmed or I notice that I spend a lot of time with a raised pulse after reading something online, I try to take a break and get the focus back on my own life and the things that are within my control.

    I am a recovering codependent, so it’s not like I have always had strong boundaries. So other people’s issues can easily become my issues. Perhaps having better boundaries it would be easier to handle the chaos, as it doesn’t become your chaos. Also, it’s not reasonable to get aggravated over the state of the world or the issues that other people are facing, because it’s not going to help. It just creates more chaos. That’s why I find it so important to work on yourself and find that peace within that would allow you to face the world with strength and compassion, which is much needed.

    Also, having stronger boundaries would allow you to just smile at those who try to control you and your thoughts, instead of getting aggravated at their attempts. So yes. I guess my answer is boundaries 🙂 Boundaries and self-care. Healing the world through healing yourself. When you pour love and care into yourself, it’ll eventually run over and some might even reach your partner’s mother 🙂 Focusing on something that is under your control also really helps with the feelings of helplessness. You’re not helpless. It just feels like that if you attempt to control something that is not under your control.

    Another thing that really helps me when I start to feel like I need to help and control the whole world is that I imagine myself as this small person alone on a beach. The sea is so huge and the beach is so wide, and the whole world and the Universe is so big. I’m small compared to that, I’m just a child compared to all that, and as a child, I do not have to take on the responsibility of the world. Whether or not there is a God is not something that I need to worry about. It would be unreasonable to expect that I would have to have it all figured out. I’ll do the best that I can with what I’ve got and if there is any higher power, then that will function the way that it functions, regardless of how I feel about it. This helps with understanding my own limitations and makes me feel much safer in the world.

    I hope that made some sense. I’ll be happy to elaborate. Just know that you’re not the only one with those frustrations and that it is possible to overcome it or at least take a break from it 🙂

    #61728
    Inky
    Participant

    Good Morning!

    I think Christianity would be an awesome religion if it weren’t for its followers :).

    Yeah, my neighbor is a Bible thumper herself. Fortunately religious studies is an interest of mine, so I am always up for theological discussions. I never get angry. It’s more, “Have you read this?” “What do you think of that?” “When your religion talks about (thing) do you think it’s comparable to this religion’s (thing?)” At least it gets the other person to think instead of “thumping” LOL. But you can only do this when you’re already feeling good.

    In a Disney sequel (I have 3 kids!) there was a line, “They can have the World. We’ll create our Own.” That is what you have to do. Create your own world. If you do it correctly, the greater world won’t impact it that much and you might be able to expand your world to envelope and help parts of the greater world.

    Good Luck!

    #61731
    Anonymous
    Participant

    My peace and serenity is directly related to my level of acceptance…

    The problem is I only get “willing” to accept things when I am in pain…

    * Other people, like myself, are full of fear, and they hurt others, I have to accept this
    * Other people, like myself, are full of fear, and they may try to push their beliefs on me (as I am doing with you?), I have to accept this
    * My co-workers, like myself, are full of fear, and they make mistakes, do bad things, I have to accept this
    * ect.

    #62380
    tony
    Participant

    hehehe… I understand because I do feel helpless myself. I have been placed on this planet and I do not have the option to get off it, just like how you can place a cockroach in a bottle and it’s just going to be stuck in there against its will. The cockroach is hopeless. The only way out is death, but that is another story. What I want to say is that it’s true, we’re helpless. We are at the mercy of this reality for whatever reason, and there is nothing we can do about it. How do I deal with this helplessness? I embrace the fact that I am helpless, that this is the reality that I have to live with. Instead of worrying about what I cannot change, I want to focus on what I can change. In other words, do what I can. It’s much more fulfilling than trying to go against something that you cannot change. Embrace your helplessness.

    #62387
    zaica
    Participant

    hi laia…
    hmmmm.. what to say?… you see, ive been like that before..well not exactly that way but close enough.. when i watch the news there would be about rebels killing innocent families including a 3 yr old kid.. corruption in the government while the poor die with no means to even see a doctor or buy medicine.. the depressing sight of patients in government hospitals… beggars in the street carrying babies with them…its so depressing…ive also come across people very opinionated about their religion… my motto with them is, i respect ur beliefs, you respect mine… im a catholic, but i have nothing against other religions.. its ur right to choose what religion to practice..just dont go around forcing it to everybody else.. do your own thing.. some of my friends would remind me for the nth time to let go.. let go of those things i have no control with.. :).. it takes practice though… do what you can.. then let go of the results… what will happen will happen…. here’s what i did, whenever i go out and i know id be walking along the streets, i buy food… whenever i see a beggar, i give them that… i rarely watch the news..and when i go to work i help those patients as much as i can…it helped ease my mind on things that i felt was so unfair.. when you’ve done your part you have to learn to let go.. ruminant is right, focus on things you can change… like what you feel for instance… ive been so full of anger before.. but the day came that i realized the only one suffering from it is me…. people i hate dont skip their meals bcoz im angry at them, i do… so why bother? so i learned to let it all go…
    mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… the warmest hug i could give..:)
    lots of hugs,
    zaica..

    #91659
    Rainbow
    Participant

    Hi
    You are definitely not alone, and I feel your pain too. For example Im sitting here going through much despair; I cry myself to sleep every day because I am a sensitive person in a harsh world full of cruel people. I also try to see past this with my spirituality, but it still hurts like hell. I found this site by typing ‘how to cope in a cruel world’…
    .
    I personally wont ever be able to ‘accept my helplessness’… that just goes against the grain, but know the world is also full of good and senstive people like us. If only we could all know each other as friends in every day life, we could feel less alone?

    Have a warm hug, all of you on here. Hope its enough to get you through. xxxx

    • This reply was modified 7 years ago by Rainbow.
    • This reply was modified 7 years ago by Rainbow.
    #91672
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Rainbow:

    Would it help you to share here the despair you are going through right now? If so, I would like to read and unless you ask me not to, I will kindly reply.
    anita

    #91726
    Saiisha
    Participant

    Hi Laia, you’ve got plenty of hugs from the community here, so it’s good to know that there are lots of people who care, doesn’t it!?

    What I wanted to add was Gandhi’s famous quote: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” This is really the only way you can change the world. It might not seem like enough, but if you do create the world that you want to see around you, it will create a ripple effect through your family, friends and the society around you.

    Maybe try to put into words what you’d like your ideal world to be like, and go on to start creating it. That’s what I’m doing, in my own small way 🙂

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