Hello Laia!

Consider yourself hugged 🙂

I do personally struggle with those thoughts and feelings. I can become incredibly frustrated and aggravated because of those very same issues that you are facing. Well, not the exact same. I’m not in touch with your partner’s mother 🙂 But I can understand what you are going through, and you have my sympathies.

I reflected for a moment on when those frustrations arise in me and when they do not bother me as much. When I focus on something that is within my control, I feel free and happy. When I do some self-care, as an example. When I just take some time to deal with my own issues and see the progress that I’m making. The focus is in my own life. It is as if I am crafting something with my own hands, slowly working on creating something out of my life. But then when I look up and around and I see all the chaos and the focus all of a sudden spreads to other people’s lives, I start to feel anxious and even angry out of frustration. It is as if my brain is trying to do all that same healing on what I am experiencing, but obviously can’t do it, because it is no longer about me and my mind and my body. When I start to get really overwhelmed or I notice that I spend a lot of time with a raised pulse after reading something online, I try to take a break and get the focus back on my own life and the things that are within my control.

I am a recovering codependent, so it’s not like I have always had strong boundaries. So other people’s issues can easily become my issues. Perhaps having better boundaries it would be easier to handle the chaos, as it doesn’t become your chaos. Also, it’s not reasonable to get aggravated over the state of the world or the issues that other people are facing, because it’s not going to help. It just creates more chaos. That’s why I find it so important to work on yourself and find that peace within that would allow you to face the world with strength and compassion, which is much needed.

Also, having stronger boundaries would allow you to just smile at those who try to control you and your thoughts, instead of getting aggravated at their attempts. So yes. I guess my answer is boundaries 🙂 Boundaries and self-care. Healing the world through healing yourself. When you pour love and care into yourself, it’ll eventually run over and some might even reach your partner’s mother 🙂 Focusing on something that is under your control also really helps with the feelings of helplessness. You’re not helpless. It just feels like that if you attempt to control something that is not under your control.

Another thing that really helps me when I start to feel like I need to help and control the whole world is that I imagine myself as this small person alone on a beach. The sea is so huge and the beach is so wide, and the whole world and the Universe is so big. I’m small compared to that, I’m just a child compared to all that, and as a child, I do not have to take on the responsibility of the world. Whether or not there is a God is not something that I need to worry about. It would be unreasonable to expect that I would have to have it all figured out. I’ll do the best that I can with what I’ve got and if there is any higher power, then that will function the way that it functions, regardless of how I feel about it. This helps with understanding my own limitations and makes me feel much safer in the world.

I hope that made some sense. I’ll be happy to elaborate. Just know that you’re not the only one with those frustrations and that it is possible to overcome it or at least take a break from it 🙂

My peace and serenity is directly related to my level of acceptance…

The problem is I only get “willing” to accept things when I am in pain…

* Other people, like myself, are full of fear, and they hurt others, I have to accept this
* Other people, like myself, are full of fear, and they may try to push their beliefs on me (as I am doing with you?), I have to accept this
* My co-workers, like myself, are full of fear, and they make mistakes, do bad things, I have to accept this
* ect.

hi laia…
hmmmm.. what to say?… you see, ive been like that before..well not exactly that way but close enough.. when i watch the news there would be about rebels killing innocent families including a 3 yr old kid.. corruption in the government while the poor die with no means to even see a doctor or buy medicine.. the depressing sight of patients in government hospitals… beggars in the street carrying babies with them…its so depressing…ive also come across people very opinionated about their religion… my motto with them is, i respect ur beliefs, you respect mine… im a catholic, but i have nothing against other religions.. its ur right to choose what religion to practice..just dont go around forcing it to everybody else.. do your own thing.. some of my friends would remind me for the nth time to let go.. let go of those things i have no control with.. :).. it takes practice though… do what you can.. then let go of the results… what will happen will happen…. here’s what i did, whenever i go out and i know id be walking along the streets, i buy food… whenever i see a beggar, i give them that… i rarely watch the news..and when i go to work i help those patients as much as i can…it helped ease my mind on things that i felt was so unfair.. when you’ve done your part you have to learn to let go.. ruminant is right, focus on things you can change… like what you feel for instance… ive been so full of anger before.. but the day came that i realized the only one suffering from it is me…. people i hate dont skip their meals bcoz im angry at them, i do… so why bother? so i learned to let it all go…
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… the warmest hug i could give..:)
lots of hugs,
zaica..

Dear Rainbow:

Would it help you to share here the despair you are going through right now? If so, I would like to read and unless you ask me not to, I will kindly reply.
anita