Forum Replies Created
January 5, 2015 at 10:41 am #61665
He does what he can to help and he never feels as if his life wouldn’t have a meaning.
This is what my wise friend is trying to get me to do. He tells me this is the key to happiness because it is the opposite of chasing after my endless demands on life.
He first starts me off with a gratitude list. A gratitude list is about what I am grateful for right now. Acceptance is something I can only do right now. Helping others and feeling peace is something I can only do right now.September 12, 2014 at 5:26 am #64798
Feel free to discount my opinion…
* The desire to save up for a good house is nice but at the cost of living with parents when you are an adult? In a way this is not fair to your parents, it is hard to have a adult child living with you. Before giving up on my marriage I would see how things are when we did not live in such a difficult situation. A “good home” of your own will not bring happiness, you can be happy in any home you have.
* We and our partners will have periods where we feel bad and are not loving
* Being called names and being put down will end with one of two options, set your boundaries, make them clear and hope he stops, or leave him. Only you can make that choice.
September 4, 2014 at 5:30 am #64372
- This reply was modified 6 years, 4 months ago by Anonymous.
I make a daily Gratitude list. This helps me focus on what I have. This is important because I can deny my family my usefulness today because I am worrying about the pain I plan to feel when they die.
For me, Gratitude is the doorway to happiness.August 31, 2014 at 9:44 am #64152
One of our biggest fears is that the way I feel now is the way I will always feel, or I will never love another the way I love this person now. I am in my mid 40’s and I can say that for me that turns out to not be true.
If this doesn’t work, you will love again.August 20, 2014 at 9:05 am #63706
Wow powerful. Thank you for sharing.August 20, 2014 at 5:11 am #63696
In your meditation ask yourself if you can accept the situation for how it is. If you feel you cannot, center yourself in the moment and ask yourself if you are willing to accept the situation for what it is, at this moment. Pain is sometimes mandatory, but suffering is optional.
For peace and serenity we will want to forgive others who have wronged us. For example I may be motivated to help but there are some people that I don’t loan money to because everyone knows they have lied and cheated people in the past. They are suffering so I forgive them (and don’t loan them any more money).August 19, 2014 at 8:40 pm #63673
Being out and about other people is the cure. Find someone you can help, above all do not isolate. being alone is perhaps the last thing I would do 🙂 My worst time is on long drives because I am alone… with my thoughts. I am creating visions and conversations in my mind, that are not reality, but my body feels as if they are. I can have a relationship with a person that is totally in my mind, it is NOT a relationship, it is not real. Any suffering I am causing myself.
So I listen to audiobooks when I drive. When in bed I read or sleep. When I watch TV I watch with someone else. When alone (and not driving or engaged in a specific task) I meditate. I use mindfulness to put myself in the moment. In the moment there is no fear. The imaginary things with their suffering is not there.August 19, 2014 at 8:32 pm #63672
Here is a bit of hope. The pain will pass, it always does. Sometimes it is replaces by a different feeling, but “this” pain will pass.August 7, 2014 at 4:02 pm #62850
I have found that I am able to act my way into better feeling rather than trying to think my way into better feeling. I find it helps to start my day off each day by making a Gratitude list. I list the things in my life I am grateful for. This action really helps me. I then try to follow the 4 Agreements (Be Impeccable with your Word / Don’t Take Anything Personally / Don’t Make Assumptions / Always Do Your Best). These actions make my days go differently and make me feel better.
Basically our lives are actually great. We are totally blessed, I mean you did not indicate any major physical handicap. You have an excellent education. You have food and shelter.August 7, 2014 at 3:55 pm #62849
Anger is the result of an expectation that we have that is not being met.August 4, 2014 at 2:02 pm #62617
No problem. I did not do the best job making my point. A bit too accusatory on my part I think.August 4, 2014 at 1:44 pm #62615
I am sorry I made an assumption when you said unrequited love that you told her you wanted more and she didn’t. I was was wrong I apologize.August 4, 2014 at 1:38 pm #62613
I would take this day by day and see what happens. My feeling is that it is ultimately about acceptance. In the end I can accept anything and something like this can actually turn out to be very small if for example he is an Atheist that is more moral than a church-goer.August 4, 2014 at 1:30 pm #62612
I just want to say I agree and sometime am Blessed to feel the same way.August 4, 2014 at 1:24 pm #62610
I find it is best for me when I am of service to others. I find it is not best for me when I concentrate on my own wants and desires. Actually the source of my unhappiness is a desire not met.
Ok what does all that have to do with your situation? Do you make her happy “in that way” ? (you know what I mean :)) Are you what she wants?
If the answer is no that may help you let her go in that way.