How can I define myself.

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This topic has 5 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 10 months ago by Mark.

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October 12, 2018 at 8:30 am #230469

nelum
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How can I define myself.

Hi! Recently been going through some of the articles here at tiny buddha,..thank you!! for the eye opening info,

First post.

Forgive my simple issue as I am trying to find how to define myself,
If we are to find peace and happiness without external validation, but through inner peace.
how do I define myself without what I am and my possessions. How can I find myself.
if there is no “I” in this universe, what can i call my own,what do I hold to be grateful of…,
I’m confused

October 12, 2018 at 9:36 am #230533

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Pubudu:

It is confusing to make sense of all that we read because not all that is written in articles and in books, online and otherwise is true. Some is, some isn’t. Some of what we read is contradictory to what we read before because different writers believe different things to be true. If we assume all that we read is objectively true, we will indeed be confused. I used to be confused.

Let’s look at this part in your post: “If we are to find peace and happiness without external validation, but through inner peace”- it is impossible for us humans, being the social animals that we are, to find peace and happiness in isolation. We have to connect, to have satisfying relationships in order to be mentally well. Does that make sense to you in regard to the sentence I quoted?

anita

November 4, 2018 at 11:32 am #235367

Peter
Participant

how do I define myself without what I am and my possessions?

You are not the shirt you put on, you are not your pants, socks, underwear… There are many reasons that you dress yourself in the mourning. Perhaps you notice that its cold outside so you put on a coat. The coat serves a purpose but you are not the coat, you are not the cold either.

Language is tricky. when we speak of experiences we differentiate experiences using words like, me, mine, our, I…. We forget that words are symbols that point towards the experiences. I see a tree, the word tree is not a tree. What am I look at now, the word tree or tree in the window? What is the difference? The word I is not ‘I’

If there is no “I” in this universe, what can i call my own,what do I hold to be grateful of?

Life, you are grateful of life… As it is! the darkness and the light.

November 9, 2018 at 6:31 am #236115

Gav
Participant

Hi Pubudu,

Feeling lost is so common. So many external influences, expectations and social pressures subconsciousness trying to force us down a path that isn’t really who we are.

I think we define ourselves by our passions. The things that really resonate with us (even if we don’t know why) and bring our true character to life. Identify your passions, what puts you in your flow, and define who you really are and what drives you to be you.

Gav

January 9, 2019 at 3:18 pm #273531

Wanderer
Participant

Gav.

Just wanted to say your above post resonated with me. I like what you wrote. Although I have often struggled to identify what passions I have, reading your post triggered something I feel pure towards. Good music!

January 9, 2019 at 3:54 pm #273539

Mark
Participant

nelum,

My question to you is, if you knew the answer then what would you do? what would you be? how would things be different for you?

Mark
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