Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→How can I feel happy and emotionally strong
- This topic has 14 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 1 week, 3 days ago by anita.
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November 17, 2024 at 6:43 pm #439445MahvashParticipant
Hi,
I am new to this forum and want to understand how to become happy and emotionally strong as I am going through severe depression.
November 17, 2024 at 7:48 pm #439462anitaParticipantDear Mahvash:
Please tell me/ us about your severe depression: what is it about, how does it feel.. what are the thoughts involved?
anita
November 18, 2024 at 2:04 am #439471MahvashParticipantHi Anita,
Thanks for your response.
I feel like there is no reason to be happy and feel like my world has ended. I tried a lot to overcome all of this but feel helpless. I keep on thinking about things and don’t know what to do. I feel like my husband doesn’t respect and love me at all. And I am very much hurt due to this kind of circumstances. I feel like maybe I don’t have any good qualities even though I earn good and support my family. I can’t keep my heads off from this thinking which is affecting my overall mental health even in the group of people I feel I am the worst person who have no smile and happiness like others. I feel like I am getting insulted and disrespected by my husband and don’t know how to ignore and come out of this. When I see my the glow, the charm on others people face and the way their partners support them I feel very good for them but bad for myself. If you can suggest anything that would be great help. Many Thanks in advance!!🙏🙏
November 18, 2024 at 3:29 am #439473HelcatParticipantHi Mahvash
I’m sorry to hear about your severe depression and the difficulties with your husband.
It is a horrible feeling to feel like your husband doesn’t love you, and to be insulted and disrespected. I’m sorry that you are going through this. I’m guessing that the situation is not easily changed? Perhaps this has been happening for a long time?
You do deserve happiness. You do deserve love. None of this is your fault. Your husband is the one who is broken.
Love and best wishes!❤️🙏
November 18, 2024 at 9:40 am #439481anitaParticipantDear Mahvash:
You are welcome!
“I feel like there is no reason to be happy and feel like my world has ended“- I am sorry that you feel this way. I felt similarly for a long time.
“I tried a lot to overcome all of this but feel helpless. I keep on thinking about things and don’t know what to do“- it’s really tough to feel helpless, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. To gain clarity and take effective action, it helps to (1) Break down a (big) problem into smaller, manageable pieces. Focusing on one aspect at a time can make it feel less overwhelming, (2) Identify your needs, values, and goals in your marriage and otherwise.
“I feel like my husband doesn’t respect and love me at all… I feel like maybe I don’t have any good qualities even though I earn good and support my family. I can’t keep my heads off from this thinking which is affecting my overall mental health… I feel like I am getting insulted and disrespected by my husband and don’t know how to ignore and come out of this“-
– notice you wrote “I feel like my husband doesn’t respect and love me at all… I feel like I am getting insulted and disrespected by my husband”. Your feelings are important. There are valid reasons for how you feel. I would like to understand your reasons better, therefore I ask: can you share an example or a few examples of disrespectful and/ or insulting words or behavior on his part?
“If you can suggest anything that would be great help“- 1- Be kind to yourself. It’s okay to feel uncertain and take time to make decisions. Self-compassion is crucial during difficult times.
2- Prioritize your physical health by getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, and staying active. Physical well-being can have a significant impact on mental health.
3. Over time, patiently identify * your needs, values and goals, * the specific problems in your marriage, * possible underlying issues that may be contributing to your feelings (past experiences often influence how we perceive others’ actions in the present time).
4. Consider all options that are available to you, including the potential outcomes of each: this can help you be & feel more informed and empowered to make a choice, or choices.
5. Take small, actionable steps toward solutions. Taking action, even in small ways, can lead to positive change and a sense of empowerment.
6. Remind yourself of your strengths, your accomplishments, your positive qualities, such as the one you mentioned (“I earn good and support my family“), and congratulate yourself for every step you take toward a better life.
7. Reach out to supportive friends and family (if any exist)/ to support groups perhaps, for a sense of belonging and support. I am here to listen to you empathetically and without judgment: it may help you to feel less alone.
In the beginning of my reply, I shared that I felt similarly for a long time. I feel way better than I used to feel back then. There is hope and you don’t have to face this alone. Healing takes time, but with the right support, you can work towards finding a measure of happiness and new meaning.
anita
November 19, 2024 at 10:37 am #439526PeterParticipantI am new to this forum and want to understand how to become happy and emotionally strong as I am going through severe depression.
“In racing, they say that your car goes where your eyes go. The driver who cannot tear his eyes away from the wall as he spins out of control will meet that wall; the driver who looks down the track as he feels his tires break free will regain control of his vehicle.” ― Garth Stein, The Art of Racing in the Rain
Hi Mahvash
Sorry that your in a time of depression. Though my own search I have found that Happiness like, Joy Love aren’t ‘things’…things to be sought out or become. I found the search itself prevented its finding or becoming and that the surest thing to kill a experience of happiness are the words ‘I am happy’. In that moment we can’t stop ourselves from trying to hold on, grasping and fearing we will lose it, we find ourselves unhappy.
The car goes where the eyes go. Staring at a road sign, as the back tires start to spin-out from under, signs that read ‘here is happiness’ and another that reads ‘here is sadness’ the result is the same, the car ends up off the track or even crashing. ‘We have a bad habit of mistaking words/signs for the territory‘.
In the spheres of experience, the temporal and the eternal, the temporal is time, measurement, language, duality, the playground of ego consciousness… in the eternal, which is not a measurement of time, the realm of silence, stillness, (non-duality), Love...
I wonder if ‘happiness’ it a realization of the relationship of the temporal to the Eternal Now, the stillness within movement, silence within the noise, the Love within Life… all life arising from and returning to the Eternal Now (stillness, silence, Love)
The car races around the track, the rain falls, the eyes soft, still, silent, focused.. looks forward at the curve ahead, even as back wheals slip, the car adjusts, continues…. That is the eternal now, no measurements, no words, stillness in motion… glorious, happiness??? not in the destination, not in the wining or losing a race in time, but in the moment of driving…
The mind, this thing we call self seeks out the playground of time as it ought. the trick perhaps is not mistaking the playground for home. We are meant to play, have fun and even know happiness in those moments of relationship to home, the Eternal now, which is always, as it is.
November 19, 2024 at 3:20 pm #439532HelcatParticipantHi Mahvash
I have been going through relationship difficulties of my own. So I have some suggestions from that perspective.
Are there any stressors affecting the relationship? Does he have any complaints?
What kind of person is your husband? Is he a generally good person or not? Is this something that he is willing to work on?
Spending time with people who value, love and respect you is essential. You deserve emotional support about your difficulties with your husband. Find someone to talk to about it.
It sounds like you’re dealing with this kind of behaviour a lot. The more time you can spend away from your husband, the better in that case.
I went on antidepressants and beta blockers for the depression and anxiety. It helped me to cope.
Couples counselling has been helpful. Individual therapy could be good too.
Do you have a hobby that you enjoy? You deserve to find joy outside of your difficulties.
The way I think about my husband’s difficulties it is like he is sick. When he is tired and stressed he is crankier. This is the same for many people.
Make sure he eats regularly. Emotional regulation is wonky when people haven’t eaten in a while.
There is no reason that is okay for someone to treat another person the way that your husband treats you. Don’t blame yourself.
Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏
November 20, 2024 at 1:59 am #439541MahvashParticipantHi Helcat, Thanks for your support and love.
I am trying to mingle with my friends and family. Meanwhile taking a CBT therapy. Hope it helps me to overcome from my situation. But all the people in this group are so good and supportive. I really feel good to be a part of this family. Thanks once again. ❤️🙏❤️
November 20, 2024 at 3:11 am #439546HelcatParticipantHi Mahvash
Thank you for your kind words!
I’m happy to hear that you are receiving support from a therapist, your friends and your family, and this community. I truly hope that things get better for you. ❤️
Please feel free to write here, whenever you would like to!
Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏
November 20, 2024 at 10:11 am #439564anitaParticipantDear Mahvash:
The name you chose is derived from Persian, where “mah” means “moon” and “vash” is a suffix meaning “like” or “resembling.” Thus, Mahvash translates to “moon-like” or “as beautiful as the moon.”
The moon is often associated with beauty, tranquility, and a gentle light that guides through darkness. Therefore, the name Mahvash conveys a sense of elegance, beauty, and calmness.
You wrote two days ago: “even in the group of people I feel I am the worst person who have no smile and happiness“- may you see the gentle light within you once again, and may it lead you through the current darkness in your marriage. Please do return here, to your thread, anytime you’d like to share about the darkness around and the light and beauty within you.
anita
November 20, 2024 at 11:00 am #439566MahvashParticipantHi Anita,
I am so touched with the above message. I can see that you are trying to make me bold , strong & beautiful from within. You have really put so much of effort in finding out the meaning of my name and the way you have painted it is truly outstanding. Now I have a hope that I will be able to see the ray of light again and will be able to stand strong. Thank you dear Anita! 🙂
November 20, 2024 at 11:07 am #439567anitaParticipantDear Mahvash:
You are very welcome, and thank you for expressing your appreciation- which I am touched by! It is just a matter of time before you see the ray of light again and stand strong. I hope that it’d be sooner than later. I am here for you!
anita
November 28, 2024 at 11:26 am #439747anitaParticipantHow are you, Mahvash?
anita
November 28, 2024 at 1:24 pm #439751MahvashParticipantHi Anita,
I’m doing good just trying to overcome and becoming stronger. During this journey sometimes my mood swings but trying to cope up. It’s so nice of you for being so caring and asking. Let’s be in touch. Lots of love!❤️❤️❤️
November 28, 2024 at 5:05 pm #439757anitaParticipantDear Mahvash: good to read that you are doing good. Lots of love back to you! Please write anytime you feel like it: I am here, wanting to read from you again and again, and reply every time.
anita
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