I know that most people will say that i’m overthinking things… but i really really feel that this girl im dating with is starting to get bored on me…. Like nowadays she rarely replies fast, even when she’s not on her exam period… Like she didnt prioritize me anymore. I’m so confused on what should i do… It feels like im the only one doing the efforts….

Dear helcat

What do u mean by “invited to because of anxiety?”

You should probably keep an eye on this behaviour. If you opt out of too many things you might not get invitations anymore. It could shut you out of parts of her life that she is trying to share with you.

= Keep an eye on who’s behaviour?

I apologize, but i dont really get your explanations…

I want to express my feelings here as i dont know where can i express all of this….. And i have trust issues with my friends, idk to tell them…

I just wanted to say these past few days have been tough for me…. Like really really tough, i keep waking up at middle of the night, feel like vomiting, even have dreams in which im crying in that dream….

So the girl im dating has been not focusing/giving me attention these past few days… i understand her situation as she said this year she’s going to be busy because she needs to do her thesis… and she’s really busy with her uni schedule…. Monday till thursday she attends uni classes at night, and on saturdays she has an organization to attend for uni at night… so she’s basically free only on friday and sunday…. But if she has lots of assignments then a whole week could be really busy for her….

Since she does her thesis this year, she has been replying my texts late and very un-enthusiast, she used to reply like this on christmas eve when she has lots of assignments and when i met her on our date she’s really not in the mood for dating and told me she needs to hurry to go home and finish her assignments…. I was afraid that time that i mistaken her that she’s gonna leave me….
But then on her uni holidays, when she’s free of assignments… she’s back to being the joyful her on our date on january 2…. I really love her this way… but then when holiday is over and uni starts she acts like christmas eve again…. I even have thoughts that she’s going to leave me again, so yesterday i tried asking her for a phone call and she’s still quite busy but i feel that she hasnt have thoughts of leaving me…. She told me the past few days she’s in a bad mood due to assignments that even looking at her sister and brother makes her irritated, that’s why she replies me late….

When she’s in this state she tends to forget about everything….
We used to plan that im going to have dinner with her family on chinese new year eve and she’s also going to have dinner with my family…

Chinese new year eve is next month, but she doesnt spoke a word about it, as she forgets about everything due to her uni assignments…. I’m confused on what solution on this situation, and she’s not a person who likes to initiate, and i have to ask her all the time…. I tried to be patient but more and more it’s really exhausting…..

I asked her yesterday if its okay to texts her, do i annoy her?

She told me “if i said you annoy me, you’d not text me?” “Its okay, but like usual i might reply late”…. Everytime i texts her she’s very un-enthusiast so idk what i should do…. If i dont initiate, she wont initiate….. it’s very hard for me….
In relationships, we need to communicate daily and properly right, but look at my situation….. it’s draining me dry…

She prioritize in texting her uni friends who discuss about the thesis, rather than me… Like im not longer giving me the spark like few months ago. So in our phone call yesterday, she talks a lot about her thesis, and how her friends struggle with it…

I dont want to argue with her, but i want to find solutions for this…. Because as a person who doesnt initiate, she wont see this as a problem and wouldnt think much about it…

As usual, i guess i love her more than she loves me… it’s always that way….
I keep trying to be my own self, but it’s hard for me to get a girl attracted to me till she really loves me…. this situation is already a prove of it…

If she’s really attracted to me, she’d at least tell me updates on her life right, but she didnt… i need to ask her first then she’ll tell me… Also at least even if she’s busy she at least need to ask how im doing right? If im the only one asking, it’d feel like a questionnaire, and i believe that’s not how relationship works….

Dont u think this situation is very harsh on me? Like i’m really really grateful to have met her, i wanna cherish her and make her happy…. I’ll never do anything to make her sad….

I’m trying to adjust my expectations, trying to understand her situation, i want to be a person who supports her…

Does this always happen to boys who love his partner more than she loves him?

I’m pretty sure no one will reply to this but…. Chinese new year is coming soon, and as usual i feel very insecure with my family structure…. Most people have big families and get along with their cousins… while i only celebrate it on a small family size…. because our family dont get along with my father’s siblings, so we never gather with them… resulting in i never contact my cousins too…. And my mom is an only child, so she has no siblings…. Therefore, i only have cousins from my father’s siblings…

I keep feeling insecure whenever i like a girl, she might feel this is a disadvantage for her if she choose me…. Other guys might have larger and a more fun family….

In chinese new year, most people gather on this special event with their families and celebrate it for a whole week… And with social media very much use nowadays, most people posted their happy big families on chinese new year.. and it makes me very insecure…. Cause our family doesnt celebrate it at all, we just ate together for formality and that’s it…. Most other families celebrate it by receiving red packets from their families and gather with their siblings…and have a family gathering dinner….

Whereas for us, after eating together for formality, we spend the whole week staying at home… watching tv, even sleep in the afternoon…. How can i show this to the girl i like? I feel so embarrassed and insecure… She might think how can a family celebrate chinese new year like this?

If anyone here is kind enough to give me some advices, i’d be very very thankful….