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How did you learn to relax and live?

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  • June 9, 2018 at 8:29 am #211807
    Bluebird
    Participant

    I just want to throw this question out there and understand how others feel about this..

    In the last few days, I realized that I put in a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect in many areas of my life. I love myself. but I feel and know I can do better. For example, I go to multiple stores to buy a piece of furniture because i want it to be perfect. It has to fit my budget be the best a person can get (with the same budget). Another example – I am in fairly good place professionally. I am well respected by team lead. She thinks I have a lot of skills etc and that I have done a lot in the 1 year that I have worked here.  But I constantly think I need to do way better because I know I can do way better!

    I am sure there are other slightly anxious perfectionists out there.. So tell me how you deal with life? How do you relax and life live? how do you take it easy?

    June 9, 2018 at 10:45 pm #211871
    Mark
    Participant

    Bluebird,

    Meditation, Meditation, Meditation.

    Everyday no matter how short.  5 min… or more.

    Start there.  The others here can give you more specific and directed advice on your situation.

    Mark

    June 10, 2018 at 3:45 am #211889
    Prakhar
    Participant

    I love it how beautifully Mark answered your question. I agree with that 100%.

    Here’s what I do (other than meditation).

    I always try to find a balance between growth and peace. There is time for stress and then there is a time of rest. It’s the balance of both that helps me live a fulfilled life. When I do my work, I go all. And then, when it’s time to rest, I go all in again.

    Of course, I’m not perfect and I’m trying to find a balance at different times in life. But that reminder helps me a little.

    Good luck!

    June 10, 2018 at 5:10 pm #211967
    Airene
    Participant

    Hello Bluebird,

    I like the answers you’ve been given – meditation and that there is a time for stress and a time of rest.

    I truly can relate to your conundrum….you want to do the best, be the best and do it all quickly.  I can relate because I am the person who reads 10 pages of reviews before buying a vegetable peeler.  I have 4 kids, and that fact alone took away the luxury of procrastinating and focusing on doing anything perfectly.  I can’t spend 4 hours in the health care aisle trying to decide what kind of band aid to buy when 3 kids are hanging from the shopping cart saying they’re hungry and one is running away from me.  I also had to make some very difficult medical decisions with two of my kids, and in a hurry.  I found the best people to ask the most important questions, based on what I knew at the time, and then took the step with a leap of faith.

    In the case of your furniture, maybe it would help to limit your shopping to 3 stores (three strike rule).  If after 3 stores you can’t make a solid decision, another fallback could be that not making a decision IS making a decision.  Not giving an answer IS giving an answer.  If it doesn’t feel right, it might be best to hold off.

    Then you make the best decision/best answer with what you know at the time.  What if it turns out to be the worst piece of furniture, or what if you could have saved some money if you had waited another week?  This kind of thing is going to happen throughout your life.  I like to think that in the end, the checks and balances even out.  The money you could have saved buying the furniture at another store is money you gained when you sold something thinking you’d get only $50, but ended up getting $350….that kind of thing.

    If I am really struggling with something and it’s affecting my quality of life, another thing I do is to give myself a deadline.  “I will make a decision by Tuesday night.”  “I will call this person and tell them in one hour.”  These are always the things out of my comfort zone, but therein lies the joy in being an adult – doing things out of our comfort zone.  Oftentimes I find that finally making a decision is relief in and of itself.  It leaves me more time for meditating, and reading reviews.  🙂

    Airene

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