Hello! I am new to this site, and have been encouraged by some of the articles.

I am coming out of a 30 year emotionally and verbally abusive marriage. We have been separated almost a year.

Shortly after telling my husband I was going to file for divorce, a guy I went to school with 32 years ago messaged me through facebook. I didn’t think much of it for the first 6 months or so cause everything that was discussed was on the up and up. Then things got more personal and we both wanted to date each other. Because we live several hours away from each other we have not had the chance to meet.

The problem is, I have found myself in a emotional affair with him. He has been supportive of me, encouraged me and we have had many long texts. He has shared his personal life with me as if we had dated and I feel that I have bonded with him, but not he with me. I can’t stop thinking about him and I daydream about the day we can finally meet. I know with my low self esteem from my marriage that this is not an ideal situation. This guy has been a single dad for 5 years and I suspect is emotionally unavailable. He has told me he likes to date, but then backs off. I have a feeling he is afraid of being hurt again. He has come out and said that he would find it difficult to have a relationship again because he has been single so long.

I feel foolish and like a 16 year old high school girl. I can see how he is verbally validating all the things my husband didn’t.

How, oh how can I let him emotionally go? I really need and want to heal myself but with being close to 50 I feel that I will never really find real love. I have tried to get active, etc but my mind is just swamped with him…any encouragement or help would be greatly appreciated!