How to FEEL love?

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    I hear you, I know medication works for some people, and they really like it, having worked with clients with severe mental illness, I think sometimes it is useful. Though, I believe my issues are more related to emotional needs, than any chemical imbalance, simply because I have experienced contentment lasting for months, when I was in group therapy. That experience showed me how important and transformative it can be to connect with people, which is what I really need (love). Also, I can feel the rush similar to a drug when I authentically connect with someone, and that feeling gives me confidence and lasts for days depending on How vulnerable the experience was. I do however believe that some people are biologically more prone to depression than others due to serotonin levels and I suspect I am one of those people. At the same time I think it just means I’ll have to work harder, and be more mindful than most to feel contentment. I am In general skeptical of most Western forms of mental health treatment due to the emphasis on “hard science” and logic that often ignores, the persons emotional needs, reducing them to a cocktail of chemicals. I am even skeptical of the profession I am pursuing, I often tell people my dream is when my future job (therapist) could be eliminated because that would mean we would be living in a more humane society where people wouldn’t have to pay someone for unconditional positive regard and healing. I’m kind of on a rant here, but I think it’s helpful for me to verbalize this and remind myself that I am human in the end, and that some of the pain I experience is a function of living in a less than human society, essentially another way for me to look at my situation more compassionately.


    Hi Rich

    If it were not for the “cocktail of chemicals” I would not be alive today writing this to you. These medications have saved many lives, and lives cannot be reduced just because we do not deny our brains these meds, it would be like denying a diabetic insulin. The medications make us **want** to get out of bed every morning and function every day, and want to be in therapy. I used to think this way too..kind of like medications would “mess up my brain” or the “Jekyll and Hyde experiment” for years, people begged me to go on antidepressants, I never listened, I was in denial, preferring my comlacant life..just going through the motions. Then, I thought, how could the medications mess up my brain, it is already a mess, I need these meds to function. It was better than a little weed here and there, a glass or two of wine every night..just to dull my emotions – not much of a way to live.

    Dawn R

    Hi Rich,

    Eliana and Anita have given you lots of great advice, helpful things to think about.  I just wanted to ask you what is your Spiritual life like?  I think when we’re in pain, it’s due to feeling disconnected from God/Source.  It is only when we see ourselves through the eyes of God that we recognize our own unique and special qualities, and come to see and value ourselves as God sees us.  If you saw yourself as a 5 year old, what would you tell him?  Would you tell him that he was worthless, unlovable, not special?  Or would you scoop him up in your arms and gush all over him, kiss/hug/tickle him and tell him how amazing he is and how much you love and appreciate and accept him as he is, regardless of his struggles, bad choices, etc.?  When people hurt us, we have to learn to have compassion for them in the same way too.  If people aren’t taught how to love and care for themselves, how are they expected to do a good job doing that for others?  In healing ourselves, loving and accepting ourselves, being kind, patient, and compassionate with ourselves, we can extend the same to others.  We have to start with Ourselves first.  Then as we slowly come to recognize our own Internal beauty and magnificence, then we can start to see others with those same eyes.  The eyes of God/Source.

    We are all Lovable.  We are all Worthy.  We just need to discover, recognize and honor our Unique selves.  And forgive ourselves and others along the way that have prevented us from Seeing our own Truth.  That We are All LOVE.

    Take Care.  Sending you blessings and love.

    Dawn R.

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