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How to get over this?

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  • April 14, 2017 at 6:26 am #145033
    JayJay
    Participant

    Here’s what I said in an email to my other friend, who had suggested being nice to them:

    I simply don’t care about either of them anymore. Like you said, they didn’t care enough about me to not to betray and hurt me in the first place.

    So I think I’ve answered my own question here! I don’t care anymore. So why should I even acknowledge them with a ‘hi and a wave, and an ‘everything is fine in my garden, so there!’ I no longer care what they think, even if they think I’m being rude not to even speak to them. They are both ‘persona non grata’ to me now. Nothing. Nobodies. You don’t speak to nothing, you don’t speak to people you don’t know either. It turned out I didn’t know either of them.

    So I will simply ignore them, should we ever meet again. You are right, Anita. 🙂

    April 14, 2017 at 7:33 am #145037
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jay:

    Regarding the first recent post: you said (typed) that the be-assertive/to-thine-own-self-be-true works for you. Wikipedia has an entry on “stiff upper lip”- “….traditionally been used to describe an attribute of British people in  remaining resolute and unemotional in the face of adversity. A sign of weakness is trembling of the upper lip, hence the saying keep a stiff upper lip…”

    The practice of self discipline in face of adversity, when one feels anxiety and depression and in so doing, not passing on the suffering has its place, for example parents should practice such discipline so to not harm their vulnerable children, but this is not your situation.

    You had a series of heartbreaks lately. You wrote that you feel  that you should be making some effort to get on with your life- this is you being true to yourself, making your own decision: “That decision is mine alone”- this is Jay being true to Jay.

    Regarding your second recent post: an authentic email to your friend. Be prepared, by the way, for more people- if you share about this or other topics- to express to you the Stiff-upper-Lip attitude and not the To-thine-own-self-be-True attitude, as the first is very common and people feel uncomfortable with the second.

    “So I will simply ignore them, should we ever meet again. “- done deal then.

    * I like reading your replies in other threads, sensible and wise, if I may say so.

    anita

     

    April 14, 2017 at 9:10 am #145047
    JayJay
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    I agree with all you say above. Yes, it’s a done deal!  And I am better for making that decision. Thanks for you time and patience with me. Yes, this attitude of ‘stiff upper lip’ is the British things to do… not necessarily the wisest or best thing to do – for yourself.

    * Thank you. I always hesitate about giving replies to others on their threads, but if I think I can help then I try. I’m glad you think me sensible and wise, I think Life teaches you a lot, and some situations with others touch me as I have been there myself.  I’m nearly 60 now and have been through an awful lot of life! 🙂

    I think we might close on this particular subject now. After a lot of time and support from my friends and family, and of course your own and others’ help on here, I think I shall be ok with this one now, but I couldn’t have done it without your take on this one., so thank you once again.

    April 14, 2017 at 9:27 am #145051
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jay:

    You are very welcome! Like I wrote before, it is a pleasure.

    If you feel the need to start a new thread in the future, please do.

    anita

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