November 8, 2018 at 8:26 am #235991
Please tell me your advice on dating. Very interested! Maybe I can focus on that.
Bella~November 8, 2018 at 11:49 am #236045
Well, start with the profile, write what it is that you are looking for in a man, and in a relationship and what you have to offer, what you can and want to bring into a relationship. Write it and let me read it, if you want.
I am exceptionally tired today and it is not noon here yet. Will be back in about sixteen hours. Be good to yourself today, will you?
anitaNovember 8, 2018 at 4:09 pm #236073
I am very tired today also & will work on the profile info and forward to you for critic…
Bella~November 9, 2018 at 9:44 am #236191
I know tired, so I will wait. Make the profile simple, honest, straightforward, not too long.
anitaNovember 10, 2018 at 11:13 am #236291
Looking for an Honest & Caring and Sincere Honorable Gentleman. No Drama, I am looking to Enhance my partners life~as well as him mine…I am looking for a casual relationship that has the possibilities to grow into a life-long partner. I would like a man who is straightforward/ Romantic & wants to enjoy his life with a partner that has the same values.
Change anything, am open to suggestions!
Bella~November 10, 2018 at 11:34 am #236293
1. “I am looking for a casual relationship” can be interpreted as a sexual-no-strings-attached relationship, newer terms: a friends with benefits/ hookup kind of a relationship. Better specify casual, not using the word.
2. “wants to enjoy his life with a partner that has the same values“- specify the values, at least a few of your most important values (this will include what you specifically mean by “Honorable Gentleman” requirement).
3. “looking to enhance my partner’s life- as well as him mine”- enhance how, specifically?
4. “no drama”- explain clearly what no drama means and how you don’t have the drama that you don’t want your partner to have either.
* It is very important to be specific, not only because it significantly increased the chances that you get what you want, but you also present yourself as clear, one who knows what she wants, which is attractive. Of course, you should aim at being clear and specific on an ongoing basis.
I will be away from the computer for the next sixteen hours or so. Take good care of yourself Bella. Looking forward to your next post, the presentation of your next profile version!
November 24, 2018 at 9:05 am #248339
- This reply was modified 3 months, 1 week ago by anita.
I hope you had a nice Thanksgivings~ I have been in a dark place the past few weeks. Sorry for dropping off the face of the earth. Trying to dig myself out.
Bella~November 24, 2018 at 10:47 am #248341
I understand. I thought about you this morning before you posted.
I know this “dark place”, I think I know what you mean by it. It is this place of feeling so very alone. That deathly alone feeling. No matter how old we are, how older we get, we are still these little girls (or boys) needing our mothers, the mother we had or the mother we wished we had. We need her to hold us tight against her, to feel that safe, sun-shining-grass-green all good feeling. Nothing feels better than that. If you imagine your mother holding you (you shared how she w as your comfort), you may feel better. Hold on to that image and that feeling, tell me how it feels.
November 24, 2018 at 1:27 pm #248367
- This reply was modified 2 months, 3 weeks ago by anita.
You know exactly how I am feeling~November 25, 2018 at 4:16 am #248405
I feel it now, feel it every day, not as the dark depression I felt before, that feeling I described a bit above which you said it is how you feel, but I feel it every day in an anxious kind of way, this disquiet. It is this anxiousness that drives me to want to eat more and more so to feel better, so to feel calm. That need I had as a child for my mother to be able and capable too hold me, for her to be strong and happy so that she could hold me and make me feel okay, that need was so intense, it never went away.
There was nothing then more thrilling than the need for her to welcome me into her arms. It is that sun is shining, green is green, all is well feeling. I was unaware of that need and feeling until recently.
Somehow you and I have to endure this alone feeling, be it in the form of my anxiousness or your current form of predominantly depression, if I understand correctly. As I feel it right now, as I type to you, it feels like a kind of a pain in my chest area and a few tears gathered in my eyes. I think this is part of healing, feeling it like this.
Write more if you can, if it helps, maybe it will help?
anitaNovember 25, 2018 at 4:32 am #248407
Every day I seem to awaken to nothing but more loneliness… No phone calls, just silence, I don’t know what to do. I really don’t want to talk to anyone as I don’t want them to see how sad I am. I don’t know what to do. I am beginning to make myself sick. I don’t like looking at myself anymore. I am glad my mother is not around to see this because it would break her Heart! I have tried to think about positive things but it is not helping.
Bella~November 25, 2018 at 5:30 am #248413
Part of depression is the law of physics that states that a body in motion tends to continue motion and a body at rest turns to remain at rest, it is true to any thing, including us. So you are used to the way you live now, and the natural tendency is that it remains as it is. If you changed from Rest to Motion, you will get used to the latter.
I know you tried and gave up. If you tried again, don’t give up this time. If you decide to try again, to switch from rest to motion and stick to a daily active routine.
I see no other way, really, but do just that, have a daily routine of motion, or action. “Every day I seem to awaken to nothing but more loneliness… I don’t know what to do”- plan a routine, like a manager of your own life, plan a routine, follow, correct this or that item in the plan, perfect a routine that works for you.
But I know how it feels, this deep hole you mentioned, the dark place. Reminds me of the first chapter of Genesis, “In the beginning..” it was dark, it reads, just like what you stated. And everything was a mess, water everywhere (similar to the leaks you were worried about when it rained), and then god organized things, was the manager of that mess, placing water here and there, creating a dry space, then proceeding to do something in that dry space every single day, rested on the seventh. That was a weekly routine of sorts.
What if you do the same, starting at Your Beginning, today, where it is dark and a mess, and start an action routine, organizing, creating, and.. then you can rest on the seventh day.
November 25, 2018 at 7:02 am #248433
- This reply was modified 2 months, 3 weeks ago by anita.
Thank You for your kind and inspiring words. I will work on this today.
Bella~November 25, 2018 at 7:17 am #248437
You are welcome. Look at that first chapter, Genesis 1.
anitaNovember 26, 2018 at 8:06 am #248607
Thinking about you, Bella.