I am having a hard time letting go of someone. This guy is from my second relationship. I met him where I was studying at his home town. He was a few years younger than me and he chased after me persistently. I rejected him harshly at first because I did not like the fact that he was younger than me. But he had the qualities I liked in a boyfriend and eventually we began a romantic relationship. I moved back to my hometown but we dated for 5 years. We decided to keep our relationship secrete mainly because I was afraid of being criticized by family/friends for dating a younger guy. It was hard to be long distance but we tried to see each other once or twice a year. We called each other everyday. Whenever I had a hard time, he was the person I called. He is raised by a single mom and is very close to his family. I always worried that his family will come between us but he always reassured me that he would pick me over them. Our relationship was not perfect but I thought we loved each other..we could not stay mad at each other and we always made up after fighting. We both were working toward our career goals and busy.  But as time goes by, I felt like I am the one who miss him more than he misses me. His phone calls become like a duty and he does not seem enthusiastic about planning for our annual meeting. I could not tell what was going on with him since we were long distances. Then I went through one of the darkest time my life. He supported me a lot. I temporarily moved to a closer city to him. He helped me with move in and we slept together for the first time which meant a big deal to me (we never crossed the line before because of my personal decision). I pictured a future family with him. I  wanted to see him more often since we lived closer but he could not come see me every week so we fought a lot. But He came once a month. Then I moved away again. Our relationship was peaceful for the next 3-4 months. Then I entered another difficulty period of my life. I worked long hour, I was tired and miserable. We talked less due to time difference. I wanted to talk him before bed but he took so long and I lost patience and went to sleep etc. And eventually I had a week off & I looked very forward to go visit him. I asked him if it would be okay. It took him a day to reply me. When he replied, he said he wanted to break up with me. There was not much explanation. I could not believe what was happening to me. I just said fine. I did not contact him for 2 weeks and finally I tried to reach out to him. By that time, he had blocked me from his phone and social medias. I fell into deep depression which affected my work and everything. Two months later, I went to a wedding in his hometown and accidentally saw him there . When he saw me, he avoided me and I didn’t feel like confronting him. He had unblocked me from his instagram so I sent him a message when I left town. He blocked me again and then unblocked me later. We did not contact each other for 1 year. I don’t know what he is up to but he is always the back on my mind. Especially when I struggle, I miss him a lot. The pandemic happened and I had a lot of delays in my life and I have time to think of him more. So I decided to sent him a short message again after 1 year of no contact. Then A few min later, he blocked me. I don’t know why he pushed me away this hard.  He followed his other ex on his social media but not me. I am questioning all the time we spent together during 5 years. I kept remembering his broken promises.  I felt used and abandoned. I don’t even know what I did wrong ? I don’t know how can I let go of someone who hates me so much.  Any tip of letting go of someone who did not give you closure?