I believe in God and spirituality and that prayer is powerful, but I don’t like praying anymore. I pray sometimes at night with my father who is sick, I suggest to pray for his health, as he is very religious and for him his prayers work. Mine don’t. I try to pray by doing kind acts, by doing my best to be just and by trying to help others. But when I am on my own I resent communion with God. I feel rejected and don’t believe the words I speak. I don’t love God anymore even though I believe there is something out there that is good and powerful and created everything. I also believe that love and communication is important but I don’t like my relationship with God, even though I know I have been given so much in life. I don’t want to be ungrateful, but because I was never able to enter a romantic relationship and things would always fall apart and none of my prayers would work, I resent God for it. I tried a lot on my behalf, but I don’t feel any support. I resent God so much, and I wish I didn’t. I wish I could genuinely and joyfully pray. I can only genuinely pray if it is for others. I feel that maybe at least there is a chance for them. I just can’t get over it. I feel so discontent. What I have is simply not enough for me. It is not enough for me to have a loving family and health and money and a nice job and friends and peace and opportunities ahead. Can you believe it? I resent God for not helping me in finding an intimate relationship, something that would last. Even though there was a time I just didn’t care. It’s not that I was always desperate about being in a relationship. You know how they say if you sre not looking it will come? nope, it didn’t even come then. 15 years… and nothing. dates and nothing. nothing. nothing. No answer. But then I guess God isn’t supporting or answering all those people who are starving and suffering either.