How to manage my emotions?

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    I’m a very emotional person and I always tend to let my emotions take over me. I literally can’t do my daily tasks properly if I’m upset about something. I would not have the mood to even enjoy the things I always do. I just let the sadness take control of everything.

    When I’m okay, I’ll regret doing this thinking of how much time I’ve wasted. I’m aware of it when I’m in a normal mood. Like I know it’s so ridiculous of me to do that. But when I’m in that upset mood, I can’t comprehend that. It’s so hard.

    I also tend to blame people who hurt me when I waste so much time overthinking about it. I know I’m being absolutely ridiculous. Who am I to blame them for my own emotions and actions right? But when I’m emotionally down, all I’m thinking is if they didn’t hurt me in the first place, I wouldn’t be going through all this.

    God! I just don’t get. What can I do?




    Dear Shini:

    You think of yourself as “a very emotional person”, and what you mean by it is that you your emotions take over you (“I always let my emotions take over you”). In your previous thread you wrote about your boyfriend and you: “He’s very practical and I’m very emotional”.

    There is a way for you to be emotional and practical. Can you  imagine that? It is possible for you: it takes learning and practicing what you learn. There are psychotherapists who are good at teaching what is called <i>emotional regulation skills</i> so that your emotions no longer take over you. But not all therapists are able to teach these skills and there may be none available to you where you live (even before the pandemic).

    The first skills to learn so to be able to regulate your emotions effectively are mindfulness skills aimed at you noticing when you start experiencing a distressing emotion, before your distress gets too intense and takes over you. Think of it this way: let’s say you are outdoors and a storm starts happening, rain and wind. If you don’t notice, the winds get stronger and stronger, and when you finally notice, the winds are so strong that there is nothing you can do about it and you are literally blown away. But if you notice early, the winds are not that strong, and you are able to  walk to a shelter. It will be difficult to walk against the strong wind, but possible.

    This is why mindfulness skills are important: you can notice your distress before it becomes to strong to figuratively blow you away.Are you  familiar with mindfulness, and if you are, what do you know about it?




    Hi Shini,

    I would suggest you to check out EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques).

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