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how to not have expectations?

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Viewing 3 posts - 16 through 18 (of 18 total)
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  • #269053
    Marina
    Participant

    hi Anita

    I would not give any credit to all kind things they did to me. And mostly would rant towards them with things that might not happen too.. I had always degrading words on the tip of my tongue, but I managed myself not to let it out because I’ve lost someone because calling him assh*le

    Then it’s all just scenarios I created on my head. I would accuse them cheating and tell them that everything they did was fake and pretentious. But then when they explained back to me, i cried so hard..  My ex would tell me that I want only hear and accept the truth that I think about in my head and will not listen to him. He told me once in an argument that I needed to stop victimised myself and see him as a person too..

    #269059
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Marina:

    It makes sense what  this man told you, “that  I want to hear and accept the truth that I think  about in my  head and will not listen to him”- we often don’t hear what  another person is saying because a voice in our brain is louder than the voice of the person talking to us. The voice or voices we hear  are  our parents’ voices that get activated over and over again.

    We have to recognize that we are hearing  those long-ago voices and  then turn down the volume on them so that we can hear what the real person in front  of us is  saying.

    What did he mean by telling you that you “needed to stop victimized myself”- how did you victimize yourself?

    anita

     

    #269061
    Anonymous
    Guest

    * didn’t reflect under Topics

Viewing 3 posts - 16 through 18 (of 18 total)

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