Menu

How to stop giving so much

HomeForumsEmotional MasteryHow to stop giving so much

New Reply

This topic contains 4 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  D 4 months, 1 week ago.

Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #207363

    D
    Participant

    How do I stop giving everything that I am to anything in my life.  I know that not one person will ever return the love in the same way as I choose to but that doesn't stop me from being so deeply and profoundly hurt.  I don't know what a healthy medium is, I refuse to speak to anyone, not including getting help tried that twice and it was useless, about it becuase I know it will be dismissed or used against me.  My heart aches so deeply and I truly want to stop feeling this way becuase this is not what life is about but I just don't know how to.

    #207387

    Airene
    Participant

    Hello D,

    The way you start your post by asking how you stop giving everything you are to anything in your life, makes me wonder if this is a common thread that runs through your relationships with friends, family, coworkers, etc. – that you give everything you are – or if this is a result of one specific relationship.  Is there more that you are willing to share to give a better sense of what has made your heart ache so deeply?

    Airene

    #207515

    D
    Participant

    It is both a common thread and a friendship.  The friend that I am closest to, and other friends as well, I give myself whole heartedly, becuase that is the sort of person that I am, but I don't get the same back.  I know that I can't expect it becuase it is my choice to give the way I do, but it hurts when I make people a priority in my life but I am never one in theirs.  From simple things like if I don't text, I won't receive one.  I just don't know to stop investing so much of myself into people and not be hurt or disappointed when they don't reciprocate.

    #207527

    Airene
    Participant

    Hello D,

    Relationships run all different kinds of ways.  Sometimes people can sense when someone is needing more than they are able to give, and this might be a reason why you don't get the reciprocation that you are looking for.

    Some people – most people – are just busy.  They have good intentions of saying hello, or responding to texts, but they might be having a bad day, or they just can't find the energy to respond.  Especially if they know you will be disappointed no matter what they say.

    The title of your post is “How to Stop Giving So Much.”  It might take some practice, but when you text someone, be mindful that they might text back immediately, or a couple of hours later, or not at all.  Before you send the text, you need to be okay with whatever the outcome is going to be.  Otherwise, don't send the text.

    If you're feeling your friends aren't reciprocating the way you would like, try to consider the friendship from their perspective.  What do you think they think about the friendship?

    Airene

    #207529

    D
    Participant

    Thank you Airene for your words, I understand what you are saying, and yes thank you for the line about I need to be okay with the outcome that is so true.  It is my expectations that need to be managed.

Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.