How would you interpret this?

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This topic has 5 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 5 months ago by Peter.

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May 20, 2019 at 3:19 pm #294827

Sam
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Just from this message, what could you infer the sender is implying or how could one interpret this?

‘

Easy, perfect example. I put gas in my car, over half tank… you borrow car and bring back empty….I give you xx$…. the only money I have and you use my car few more times than when I get back it’s less than half tank. Rent is due, I have xx$. I tell you I can afford xx$ for rent but you used everything on my card. You’ve used my cash when you had none and my car at times to get your things to sell on ebay. I don’t do what you do and you know I don’t have enough money to pay half of everything
So in my opinion only a fxxxng dxxk would use something of mine and return it with little regard to condition etc, and when confronted about it, tries and throw something in my face that was never a reality in the first place. You’re using my situation to your advantage to treat me however you want because you have no respect!

Now if I made more than you, had I borrowed your vehicle, I’d return in favor of you, in better condition than before or a generous cleaning of it or fill tank of gas. Or not take your last amount of money but if I needed to, to make sure that you got something back, to just have some cash on you, though things may be tight for money, I wouldn’t take your dignity’

May 20, 2019 at 3:35 pm #294833

Valora
Participant

With absolutely no background whatsoever as to the context of this…. it sounds like the sender is very frustrated and feels like the recipient has been using the sender. The sender feels that they have gone out of their way to help the recipient, such as to let the recipient borrow their car and the recipient then did not replace the gas used, which put the sender out even further because they didn’t have the extra money to cover it and the sender is frustrated by this behavior.

I’m not sure how many other ways there are to interpret this?

May 20, 2019 at 4:07 pm #294841

Jenna
Participant

Was this you who sent this or did you receive this?

I think the person has reached their limit. They feel frustrated and taken advantage of. A waste of a message in my opinion and if you sent this I don’t mean that those feelings aren’t valid. I’m just saying it seems to be falling on deaf ears. I would be just as angry as the sender, it’s completely disrespectful. The sender needs to put some boundaries up, gain respect by actions not words. Won’t fill up the car after driving it? New boundary…they don’t ever borrow your car again. I too am learning about setting boundaries. UGGGH – it’s very hard when you think people will offer the same respect you give to them.

May 20, 2019 at 4:26 pm #294845

Mark
Participant

Time for a face-to-face talk. There is enough of a relationship where there was trust in borrowing/lending a car. Go resolve this.

May 21, 2019 at 8:19 am #294929

Inky
Participant

Hi Sam,

It sounds like the borrower was clueless at best or selfish at worst.

If I were the complainer, I’d say, “This isn’t working”. Meaning no more car, or, give me ten bucks for the pleasure. The rent? It sounds like they shouldn’t be living together if they are.

The first person is a user who doesn’t get that the second person is struggling.

Best,

Inky

May 21, 2019 at 12:43 pm #294965
Peter
Participant
Based on the scenario I’d say were dealing with immature/undefined boundaries from both the sender and receiver.

When expectations about borrowing and returning items, giving and receiving, aren’t clear someone is going to cross the line. Both parties are assuming they are operating on the same understanding of the idea or respect as it comes to the relationship and borrowing.
- This reply was modified 5 years, 5 months ago by Peter.
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