My ex girlfriend and I dated long distance from November 2019 until July 2020. It was a great 8 months. However, towards the end, our communication broke down, we didn’t really talk much, and there were a lot of trust issues. She decided to break up with me, which hurt because we were close, but I accepted. She told me she hoped that we could start a relationship in the future or get to know each other better once we didn’t have so much distance between us. However, my ex and I were very close. We were there for each other during really emotional times, we were friends, best friends, fwbs for months before we started dating. So, over the time we broke up we literally talked everyday, she wanted the fwb part to continue (I was fine with this because I feel the sexual part of our relationship was absolutely amazing).

However, over the past few weeks, we have gotten into silly fights over small stuff that doesn’t matter. A lot of them have been my fault. We moved past them. Last week was the first week we really spent the most time we have since our breakup. Her and I started school and both are taking economics and other related classes so we FaceTimed during our classes and chatted, we challenged each other to fitness “battles” on our apple watches, we still had the fwb going, and talked all day. It was great just being really close friends.

However, this all changed a few days ago. She came to me and told me that one of our friend that we knew from when we dated (long distance away from her but we knew him) liked her. The guy (we’ll call him bob) has had three past relationships all ending in concerning behavior for the women. For example, he would fake an overdose to get attention. When my ex told me this, I felt concerned, hurt, and jealous. Not only did I feel that she was getting into another long distant relationship when she told me it was hard to handle ours, but it seemed like the behavior she was showing in the past few days (crying, upset, depressed) was the same behavior these other girls showed while talking to Bob. I called her to ft and I let my emotions get to me. I reminded her of his past behavior (she claimed he had changed) and told her that I was hurt and I felt like she lied to me and I was manipulated by her because she told me we broke up due to distance but here she is in another long distant relationship.

What I did was wrong. I shouldn’t have got involved. I was motivated by jealously but I was also concerned for her safety around this guy. I apologized and talked to her yesterday for over an hour on FaceTime and told her that I let my built up feelings from our relationship get to me, that I trusted she could handle her own issues, and that I overstepped my bounds. However, she told me that she wanted to limit the amount of time she talks to me now and that she needed space to heal. I just feel horrible, guilty, and that I’ve lost a close friend who means so much to me. I don’t view her as my ex, I view her as a person I care about and we have some similar hobbies, experiences, and are great at hanging out together. I’m not sure what to do because I feel the distance is going to tear us apart. I’ve thought about doing no contact, but I did that after our breakup and she hated it. We have a long streak on snapchat and I’m not sure if I should send her streaks. I don’t know how long I should give her space, if we’ll ever fix our friendship, or is this over.

Thanks