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I cant stand being single and always being rejected

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This topic contains 14 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  anita 6 days, 3 hours ago.

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  • #337984

    Felix
    Participant

    Hi everyone,

    So basically i’ve tried to chat with 2 girls through instagram and both of them ended didnt reply my texts. The first girl is that  i havent met her, i just know them through instagram and we have followed each other. She posted one of her stories and i replied her story and she replies me back. Then after she replies, i asked her again (to get closer to her), and she didnt reply back.

    The second girl is also the same, she posted a story of a food. And i ask where is it? And she replied it’s in a cafe. And i ask if its a cafe near the airport and she said yes. Then i ask again if the food there is nice? And she didnt reply back.

    Why is it girls always do this to me? I have already take every advice in improving myself and try to love myself (i have accept my short height) to improve me in being confident to chase a girl. But when i try to get close they immediately go away like that. I feel so sad right now i dont know what to do, i really wanna cry and now i also feel scared that most of the girls that im attracted to will most likely ignore me. I dont know if its just me being unattractive or im wrong in the way im approaching them through texts. I feel being treated unfair for my relationship life.

     

    Felix

    #337990

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Felix:

    The first girl that didn’t answer you  on Instagram never met you and (unless you sent her a photo or shared with her about how you look) doesn’t know how you look like, correct? If so, she didn’t reject you because of how you look.

    And the second girl, did she ever meet you or did you send her a photo or any information on how you look?

    anita

    #337992

    Felix
    Participant

    Dear Anita

    Both girls have previously liked my pic (a pic of myself) on instagram. And i usually share insta stories pic of me and my friends. So they know how i look.

    • This reply was modified 1 week ago by  Felix.
    #338006

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Felix:

    So they liked your photo enough to communicate with you some.

    The second girl posted a story about food, you asked her where she had that food and she answered in a cafe, then you asked her if the food there is nice and she didn’t reply back. Maybe if you asked her a more specific question about the food there that requires more than a yes/ no answer (instead of the general/ vague question if the food was nice, which requires yes or no), she would have answered. For example, you could have asked her: how do  they make that chicken dish you like so much, or what do you like about that chicken dish?

    Or you could have asked her if she wants you to buy her lunch in that café. Maybe she would have responded to that.

    Improving your social skills, such as learning what questions and suggestions are more likely to elicit a response will help you in your quest to finally have a romantic relationship with a woman.

    anita

     

     

    #338010

    Peter
    Participant

    Hi Felix

    The whole social media dating, meet up… whatever its called doesn’t make much sense to me and I suspect many find it frustrating.

    I had a friend who did the online dating thing which worked for her however she understood it was about the numbers and was prepared for a lot of rejection and rejecting. She never took a rejection personal. That took a great deal of self awareness on her part.  I suspect that those of us that are sensitive that method isn’t going to work well. It sucks to feel ‘rejected’ but it equally sucks to be the one doing the rejecting.

    My suggestion then would be to work on your personal awareness. What can you handle what can’t you? Social media interaction may not be your thing if you can’t detach your sense as self from the experience.  Our their any activities, sport’s that you enjoy? Maybe join a group and interact their. (Just don’t be that guy that join a group with the ulterior<b> </b>motive. Join because you enjoy the activity allowing those around you to see you. You will make friends and from their who knows.) Joining a dance class is a excellent place to practice letting go of insecurities.

     

     

     

    #338224

    Felix
    Participant

    Dear anita

    Regarding the first girl, she knew how i look from instagram but havent met me in person. And i have texted her and she didnt reply. Maybe she reject me because i try to chase her and she havent even met me in real life. I regret chasing her before meeting her in real life first, because in real life meet up i still have a chance as one of my friend know her and maybe we could meet up

    If for example on of my friends meet me up with her friends, and i’ll eventually meet her, do u think i still have a chance to chase her? Or there isnt any chance anymore for me to be with her?

    • This reply was modified 6 days, 12 hours ago by  Felix.
    #338226

    Felix
    Participant

    Dear peter

    Regarding the first girl, she knew how i look from instagram but havent met me in person. And i have texted her and she didnt reply. Maybe she reject me because i try to chase her and she havent even met me in real life. I regret chasing her before meeting her in real life first, because in real life meet up i still have a chance as one of my friend know her and maybe we could meet up

    If for example on of my friends meet me up with her friends, and i’ll eventually meet her, do u think i still have a chance to chase her? Or there isnt any chance anymore for me to be with her?

    #338240

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Felix:

    If you try to meet with her, then you have some chance of not being rejected, what chance it is, I don’t know. It depends on the woman’s state of mind and life (if and) when you meet her, depends on what she needs at the particular time and of course it depends on whether she feels that she can get what she needs from you.

    If you don’t try to meet with her, you have 0% chance of having a relationship with her.

    anita

    #338298

    Valora
    Participant

    Why is it girls always do this to me? I have already take every advice in improving myself and try to love myself (i have accept my short height) to improve me in being confident to chase a girl. But when i try to get close they immediately go away like that. I feel so sad right now i dont know what to do, i really wanna cry and now i also feel scared that most of the girls that im attracted to will most likely ignore me. I dont know if its just me being unattractive or im wrong in the way im approaching them through texts. I feel being treated unfair for my relationship life.

    Hi Felix!

    You might feel better if you manage your expectations a little bit.  Instagram isn’t really a dating site. Some people might be on there hoping to meet new people, but most are on there to just share their lives. So the fact that the girls didn’t seem interested in continuing a conversation with you might not actually have anything at all to do with you.  They might not like private messaging with people they aren’t good friends with. They might have been busy and unable to talk at that time or just didn’t feel like chatting. There could be any number of reasons why they stopped responding, but you will only get hurt if you keep expecting that getting close to someone should make them fall for you, because they might not…. even if they do find you attractive.  I’ve had a lot of guys message me on social media sites like Instagram and Facebook, trying to make small talk, but I’m not interested in dating that way (I’m not on any dating sites or apps) and small talk doesn’t really make me feel interested in someone, even if I think they’re good looking. I’m sure a lot of other girls feel the same. So again, it’s probably not about you.

    So if you’re looking to date, instead of trying to chat with new girls on Instagram, join some dating sites or see if there are any fun group activities in your town where you might meet new people and get to know them in person (which is SO much better than trying to gain interest through text message)…. BUT keep in mind that you will not be everyone’s cup of tea, just like not everyone will be yours. That’s how it is with everyone, no matter who they are or what they look like.  As the saying goes…. “You may be the ripest, juiciest peach, but there will always be someone who doesn’t like peaches.”

    • This reply was modified 6 days, 5 hours ago by  Valora.
    #338300

    Felix
    Participant

    Dear anita

    Do u think she’ll be disgusted/turn off when we meet for the first time later on? Or do u think she’ll feel like nothing happen?

    When i meet her later on i’ll not chase her directly again as its a mistake, i’ll try to be friends with her first.

    But eventually if we wanna text each other later on, she’ll saw the old message that she didnt reply? Would it be awkward?

    Do u think if i wanna be with her i’ll have no choice but to meet up with her through my friend so that i have a chance? Do u think its worth it meeting her after she didnt reply my texts?

    #338304

    Felix
    Participant

    Dear valora

    Yes i can relate to your advices as i realize i do a mistake by trying to get close to her by texting, in which there is a friend of me who can help me get to know her as he know im interested in her. I should have waited for him to help me get to know her, but i’m impatient and text her first and this is what happen. Do u think i still have a chance with her? (I’m not good looking so maybe this is also a cons when meeting her for the first time later on, even though that she has saw my face in my ig)

    Do u think she’ll be disgusted/turn off when we meet for the first time later on? Or do u think she’ll feel like nothing happen?

    #338306

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Felix:

    You asked me and another member the same question: “Do u think she’ll be disgusted/ turn off when we meet for the first time later on? Or do u think she’ll feel like nothing happen?”

    How many other people did you ask the same question, in other websites? And how do you know whose answer is the right answer and whose answer is the wrong answer (do you count how many people answer this way and how many people answer another way, and then figure out what answer has more votes)?

    anita

    #338308

    Felix
    Participant

    Dear anita

    Yes im asking the same question to see if most people answer the same question then its likely to be that answer. Because i wanna know what’s other people perspective on how will she feel when meeting me later on for the first time?

    #338314

    Valora
    Participant

    Dear valora

    Yes i can relate to your advices as i realize i do a mistake by trying to get close to her by texting, in which there is a friend of me who can help me get to know her as he know im interested in her. I should have waited for him to help me get to know her, but i’m impatient and text her first and this is what happen. Do u think i still have a chance with her? (I’m not good looking so maybe this is also a cons when meeting her for the first time later on, even though that she has saw my face in my ig)

    Do u think she’ll be disgusted/turn off when we meet for the first time later on? Or do u think she’ll feel like nothing happen?

    Honestly, I have no idea what will happen when you guys meet for the first time or how she’ll feel because that depends entirely on her as a person. None of us here know her… but I don’t think you should expect anything one way or another. Just leave things open.  Sometimes even when you get to know someone well, that doesn’t mean they will want to date you, and it doesn’t mean anything bad about you. If someone doesn’t have feelings for you, it just means you two aren’t a match.

    So what I’m saying is don’t get your sights set on one woman, thinking if you get to know her well she’ll fall for you, because that won’t happen if you two aren’t a match for each other. Just be open to connections with the girls you meet, and if there isn’t a connection with both of you, be ready to accept that for what it is (not a match, and that’s okay!) and keep moving on until you find a good match (you’ll know when you do because you’ll feel the same about each other and a lot of your values/wants for the future will line up).

    Also… confidence plays a big role in whether someone looks good or not. Confidence and a good sense of humor can make anyone more attractive.  And those guys that are really traditionally attractive… if they have a terrible personality or are full of themselves, they become less attractive.  Attraction really isn’t just about what someone looks like.

    #338330

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Felix:

    Let’s look at the question you asked: “Do you think she’ll be disgusted/ turned off when we meet.. or do you think she’ll feel like nothing happened?”-

    -no one can answer this question but her if and when she meets you.

    I am not her. I can’t tell how she will feel meeting you any more than she can tell how I will feel when I meet someone she doesn’t know later today.

    “I’m asking the same question to see if most people answer the same question then it’s likely to be that answer”-

    – back to your question, let’s say most people answer you that she will “feel like nothing happened”. Then you meet her and she feels like something did happen. The answer of most people is of no importance to you, is it?

    When you have a question, think: whose answer do you need, whose answer will make a practical difference for you?

    anita

     

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