Hi anita thank you so much for you reply! I dont think i can tell her the truth that i like her all this time, because idk what will happen between our relationship. She might feel guilty and might reject me if i try to contact her. I also still have this feeling that i shouldnt tell her the truth because maybe someday i can contact her and she might be the one, i know this doesnt sound right but this is what i think. Sometimes I also feel uneasy that she recently changed her insta profile picture into a better one. I keep feeling insecure even though i shouldn’t. I’m trying to help myself to stop thinking of her but there isnt a single day that i dont think of her. I really wanna block her off my social media, but my head keeps getting insecure about her and i cant take it. Idk what i should do

Dear Anita, thank you so much for replying again !

– you tried long and hard to not think of her and it didn’t work, so better stop trying to not think of her. Allow yourself to think of her without trying to stop. But at the same time, make a space in your brain to think about practical things regarding your life. You can allow yourself to think of her let’s say (examples), 10 minutes every hour, or think of her after 4 pm every day but not before. So you start thinking about her at 8 am, say to yourself: later, I will think of her at 4 pm.

= I try to do this and i guess its quite working for me instead of forcing myself to stop thinking of her.

– decide then to contact her a year from now, choose a date and put the date in your calendar. From now until then think about and go about your life in practical ways so that you are more likely to be accepted by her when you do contact her. Take care of your health and get in good physical shape, do well in your studies, job/ career. Make yourself a good candidate for her.

= This is a good suggestion, but do u think if i do this that means that i’m still hoping for her? But i cant force myself to not make her a candidate of me in the future but i’ll try as maybe i can stop thinking of her as time passes by because i dont contact her anymore.

Right now i’ve muted her insta stories so that i wont see her activities, she will soon notice that i didnt view her stories anymore.. do u think this will make her dislike me and eliminate my chances to make her a candidate in the future?

And also i’ll try to improve myself in a better physical shape and improve my career later on to be a better candidate in the future (maybe), but even so.. there is one flaw that i cant change which that both of us have the same height which is 5’5. Do u think this might be a problem?

Dear Anita,

After a month of trying to move on from her, i think its working even though sometimes late at night i suddenly thought of her. I also started to try working out to improve my body shape.

Right now i’m considering to find a new girl for me to like, even though she’s still on my mind sometimes. But its just that i’m not confident as i hate my body so much as i’m very short. Everyday i’m always wearing thick sandals and also a bit taller shoes (take could increase 2-3 cm). Because most of the girls in my country is my height, so i’ll wear them to look taller, but its just that when i look in the mirror i see myself taller in those sandals/shoes but i always saw my shirt is still short as my body is short and i see its pointless of me trying to improve anything as i cant make my body longer. I know personality is more important than height, but i never experience a good impression from girls on my body and i hate it.

I always get jealous of my 5’7 male friends and above that height, its just that whatever they wear, their shirt will never look short. It’s an average height from my country that’s why i really hate it that i have to wear thick sandals and shoes to reach those inches, and even with that my body still looks short. Sometimes for me its not important for me to wear good outfits that i can afford as its pointless, everything i wear looks short on my body.

One of my close friends said to me that i shouldn’t worry about my height as long as u have the money. But i don’t if he’s only saying this to comfort me as he never experience my short height as he’s 5’7. Every day i look in the mirror i always feel like crying as being short is harder than being fat, because weight can be changed but height can’t and i’ll never be better looking than average height males. Everything i do will always relate to height, even when i’m trying to comfort myself by watching Youtube, the males are mostly above my height and i lose interest in watching it.

Dear Anita thanks for your reply,

Right now i’m feeling better on my height concerns as i tried watching videos about motivation and accepting ourselves. But i dont know if i might get concern about my height again, like maybe when i see the mirror i might think of that concern again but i hope it wont happen.

As for the girl that i used to concern about (the girl which i started the topic about), we exchange messages a few days ago after not contacting for a month and the way she’s texting is still the same but idk why i feel lazy to chat her while we’re texting like the feeling that lost interest in her for hurting me a lot. But just now i saw one of her friends describing her classmates on her insta stories (one of it is her), her friend describe that she’s pretty, kind and she’s a girl who’s getting chased by a lot of boys. When i saw this, the uneasy feeling came back that i might miss out on a pretty and kind girl, and that many boys chase after her but at the same time i’m also lazy thinking of her right now. Idk why is this happening to me and sometimes i hate that girl that she’s so lucky to be beautiful and that she can reject all the guy she wants.