I don't know how to be myself anymore

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    I’m currently a student in high school trying to figure myself out. It’s the end my junior year and I have a lot of choices to make but I feel so lost emotionally that I don’t even know where to start. I started off high school with a few friends I was really close to, but over time I’ve transitioned to having a lot of acquaintances I hardly ever talk to. My social life has become non-existent, and I’ve just been so lonely and sad. I put put a fake image of myself so that people will like me more, and in the process I’ve completely lost who I was before. The sad part is that people actually seem to like me less. My self-confidence has dropped so low to the point where the idea of asking anyone to spend time with me makes me cringe because I fear that no one will want to. I’ve been shy all of my life, but before now I’ve always had friends to lean on. I’m scared that I’ve completely forgotten how to even make friends, and I don’t know how to fix it. I also seem to have lost my sense of humor and everything else that made me interesting, I’ve become the most dull person ever. I feel like my future is going to be filled with loneliness and I just feel so lost, I don’t know what to do.


    Dear Maddie:

    To understand better, I ask:

    What happened with the few close friendships you had at the beginning of high school?

    How were you like before you put on the fake image, and what is the fake image?



    Hi Maddie,

    Junior year is the worst! Everyone’s asking you where you want to go to school, the grade pressure, the testing, the “This is it?” feeling… it’s a wonder you are stressing about friendships! Maybe you are using your emotional angst as a distraction.

    I would reconnect with the few original friends. And maybe drop the image. Once you do that, people will fall, but take notice of the ones who remain.

    The good news about college in a couple years is everyone will be in the same boat, and people thrive on and crave uniqueness and originality. It will be so much easier to be yourself!




    Hi Maddie,

    I’m impressed with the way you have expressed your feelings, very succinct…

    Guess every teenager goes through this phase of life where he/she cares about if he/she is liked by the people or not, esp. friends and college mates. However, at this age what matters more is what you want to achieve in life, focus on your goals and the rest will be taken care of. Imagine yourself being a successful person, even those who might dislike you now, will end up liking you.

    Reach a stage where, when you enter a room full of people, you care less about if people like you or not; rather if YOU like them or not.

    Stay blessed!


    I’m a teenager. I used to be the type of person who smiled and talked a lot as if I couldn’t live a day without doing it. I used to be happy. But things have changed lately. I don’t know how this happened. I couldn’t recognize myself anymore. I’m not the person I used to be. I feel lost.

    I suddenly felt so empty and just couldn’t find things that could fill this emptiness. I’m even having a hard time explaining what I feel.

    I don’t know who am I anymore.

    Please help me…

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