Jack,

Your struggles sound somewhat similar I dealt with in my life.  Have you checked yourself for ADHD?

The not doing well in school, the forgetfulness and the general scatter mindedness sound like that ADHD may be the cause.

Take care,
Mark

Dear Jack:

It is very telling, that you are somewhat happier for being away from home. The routine in the hospital, the therapy sessions, nice staff, reads good to me. I hope you share with the therapists your troubles at home, all that is going on. I hope you get the most help you can possibly get in the hospital setting.

Maybe after the hospital it can be arranged that you live in a group home of sorts, a place away from home, for good, something to ask/ discuss with the staff in the hospital?

I will be away from the computer for the next sixteen hours or so.

anita

Dear Jack:

I wish you had more therapy than that, and quality therapy that will really help.

You cry a lot because you are so sad. You miss her, you wish the relationship with her didn’t end, and that it didn’t end how it ended. You “just don’t want to be”, to be sad and missing her.

Yesterday I suggested that you ask the hospital staff if there is  a group  home of sorts, a home for teenagers living under the supervision of counselors, after you leave the hospital. Today I wonder if there is a way for you to live with your father after your release. You shared that he was gentle, that you ran to him for safety when you were younger. Is that possible that you live with him?

I was also wonder what you meant in these two sentences you wrote in page 1 of your thread: “Life and people around are just laughing every time I stumble. It’s like a reality show”-

Who is laughing when you stumble, who thinks of you as a character in a reality show?

anita

Dear Jack:

“I wish I felt like I want to do something with it”, what do you mean by “it”??

I think it is a good idea for you to not return to living with your mother. I suggest you talk to a counselor or therapist/ doctor in the hospital about possibilities for you to not return to your mother when your hospital stay ends. Perhaps to your father as a tryout, maybe to a group home for teenagers. Ask, do not give up hope. Life can get so much better for you.

You can find someone you will love and respect and who  will love you back and treat you respectfully at all times, the two  of you helping each other and making your lives better for being in it together. It can happen sooner than later.

anita

Dear Jack:

I understand that you may not be able to reply if your phone is confiscated but I do  hope to read from you soon and will welcome you posting anytime you can post and want to. I will read and reply to you anytime you post.

I don’t understand the solitude idea, clearly you need helpful people  in your life, now and always.

Like I wrote to you before, your life can get so much better and looking back at this time will seem so far away, at that future point. Persevere, find another place to live once you are out of the hospital, if possible, a place where you will  be treated empathetically and respectfully.

It is okay that you are “unable to feel love to anyone now”- you don’t have to and better not love people  who are not good to you or for you. Don’t try to force emotions, relax best you can.

anita

Dear Jack:

You wrote a few days ago that you liked it there, when did it change and why did it change for you?

anita

Dear Jack:

The good news is that you want to play the guitar and go running, go out, do yoga. You want to live!

Ask to see a doctor and ask the doctor to see a therapist. Tell them that you want the help you need because you want to live and you want to have a better life than you had before!

Let me know what response you get, will you?

anita

Dear Jack:

You are welcome. Do let me know tomorrow, I am looking forward to reading what happens tomorrow. For now, persevere, pay attention to what is happening and post here anytime!

anita