K, thank you so much for your response. I just noticed the replies today. I’m so sorry!

I can certainly relate to the life-suckingness (poetic license there – I like it!) of our ‘first-world-problems’ as you said. The reframing has to be done on a regular basis, that’s for sure. And it’s a reminder to me, too!

Hmm… You’ve got me thinking. Although I haven’t been in the workforce proper for a long time (I’m trying to get back into it), there have been plenty of difficult people in my life!

An office project team with strongly opposed opinions? First, I have found that the people with the ‘loudest bark’ are usually the most insecure. It is possible that the strongest opinions are held by people afraid of being wrong or of being seen as ‘less than’ when compared to their teammates. Diplomatically speaking, I think I would first try to see and mirror back the value in each and every opinion expressed, stroking each ego, if you will. Once everyone feels heard and valued, it may be easier to discuss pros and cons of each opinion as how it relates to the team or final project outcome. “I get to” be the voice of reason, the one who makes everyone feel heard and helps each one understand the value of the other opinions, not just their own. How lucky am I to be able to do that, and how lucky are they to have me helping them?!!

Working toward eliminating negative feelings/jealousy about a coworker is easier because the only person involved would be me. There is no dealing with others, trying to change people’s minds or opinions, only figuring out why I feel negatively or jealous of someone. What is it about me (or the other person) that is causing me to feel that way? Once I know why I feel that way, I can work on looking at myself differently – often as others see me, not as I see myself. We can tend to be much harder on ourselves than we ever are on others! What is it about *me* that is causing me to feel less than or intimidated or jealous of another, and what can I do to change me, or the way that I view myself, to be the person I am proud of so there is no need to be jealous of anyone? “I get to” look more closely at myself, to learn something and to grow. “I get to” feel better about myself by understanding the cause of my feelings and having a chance to change them. And possibly I may even “get to” make a new friend out of the deal.

I’m not sure if I have been of any help, but that is what I would do in the situations you have described as I understand them!

Peace57, my journey was a long one. I suffered from depression my entire life (without knowing it) until about 10 years ago. We ALL deserve to feel good about ourselves. As long as we are doing the best we can with what we have at that particular moment, of course. Sometimes that is just survival. Only we know what we are capable of, and what we are afraid of. Sometimes we need others to help us find it.

There is always room for improvement! One foot in front of the other. Celebrate the small steps it takes to get to where you want or need to be. Your last post is one of those steps!