July 11, 2013 at 5:23 am #38393
My name is Wissam Ahmad Wafee. I am a college student and work as a Radio Jockey as well.
“I have never seen a guy more lazier than you in my life” That’s what my math teacher said recently.
“You are ugly” That’s what my crush said.
“You don’t look like a teenager, you don’t style yourself properly” That’s what my best friend said.
I will start with the radio job. I joined a radio to improve my communication skills. I gave my best and tried a lot. It has been a year and a half. I have many fans but some of the guys who have just joined have over taken me. I don’t want to pull their legs. I give them suggestions so that they could improve and do good in their job. I have been working for such a huge interval and still people don’t like me much. Not as much as they love others. I love this job and want to go further in it. But I have decided to leave this job. Because in stead of all the efforts it’s not working out well. Even I took voice lessons on internet and read some articles related to job, still the guys who just come out without preparation, do better than me. I am very much tensed because of it. I also do not feel good with my mates. I feel like stuck and shocked. I try to make them happy but I feel like a joker. Some of my friends suggested me to ignore them. They said, they will know your value when you will not focus on them. Just do you own work and they will be interested in you. They said that if you somewhat ignore others, you increase your level. I tried this too but still it didn’t work out. I tried to take every step possible but all the steps are taking me in a wrong direction. (the shows I do on radio are in urdu language, plz ignore the mistakes in english language. It’s not my mother tongue 🙂 )
A teacher called me lazy. And many people have called me so. I don’t talk much with every one. It’s my nature. I get good grades in her subject. Even the friends come to me for help. But she has told me lazy guy for 3 times. I don’t know what kind of reaction she wants from me during the lecture. She stares at me during all the lessons. It also makes me not to feel at ease. There are fifty students in the class. And why she stares at me. I try to look serious and not to look at her so that she would not look at me, but if I do so, I am called a lazy guy.
There’s a radio mate of mine whom I like very much. I try to make good relationships with her but I can’t. Recently we had become good friends. We used to chat regularly for 3 or 4 hours on facebook. Every thing was going smoothly. But one of her cousin told her not to add the radio mates on facebook. She unfriended most of the guys including me. But there are some, whom she didn’t. She told them that how can she unfriend such special people of her life. So, I knew I was not special. We were chatting somedays before I was unfriended. And she called me ugly. Many people don’t agree with the thing that she said. But my concern about my looks is with her. Not with “many other people”. She calls all the guys whom she has not removed as brothers. Means she is not interested in them in that way. I am not ugly. Many of the good looking girls have proposed me. But I don’t know what’s wrong with her.
These are my problems. I try to be the best in my job. I try a lot. But it doesn’t work out well. I try to be active in life but still I am called a lazy guy. I like a girl very much but she thinks of me as a “one pound fish”. I have won many events in my life like debate competitions, speech competitions e.t.c. Many teachers like and do trust me. Some of them even share their lesson plans with me. I don’t know why but above mentioned things are killing me daily and I really need your help. PLEASE HELP ME. I don’t know if I have written properly. But please judge me by my tone as well. And please tell me whether I have to change it or not. PLEASE!July 11, 2013 at 5:59 am #38395VictoriaParticipant
Oh honey 🙁 You’re putting so much pressure on yourself! I’ve been there, trying to please everyone and feeling low, even when I was trying my hardest.
Do YOU think you’re good-looking? Do YOU think you’re hard-working? Do you really want to look like an average teenager? Never mind what those people have told you. Your opinion is the one that matters. Also, its very unprofessional of your teacher to call you lazy! I would feel so hurt, too. How rude of her. And I hope that by “college” you mean sixth form, last years of high school?
Don’t let these people step on you. Do what you want and ignore the rest. Maybe they’re jealous because you’re actually very gifted and they aren’t! Who knows. Do not let them dictate how you behave! You’re much better than that.
xxJuly 11, 2013 at 6:22 am #38397Yellow FoxParticipant
Be the best you can be and if it doesn’t meet other people standards then -let it go, or better still, let them go.
There is constructive criticism and destructive criticism and I think if you feel others are being destructive then you have every right to point it out to them.
Sometimes people don’t realise the effect they have when they say something, I’ve been known to be abrupt and inconsiderate and am always mortified when this is brought to my attention, I think if you let people know how it makes you feel they too might be more considerate in how they communicate.
Write down the things that are working for you, you might be surprised how much is actually going ok in your life.
All the best in your journeyJuly 11, 2013 at 7:34 am #38409JadeParticipant
Friend, you are clearly awesome, you’re pursuing a job you love and have achieved so many successes in your life! I say don’t give up on doing a job you love and ignore people who speak badly of you. I know it’s hard when others try to bring you down, don’t give them that power over you! Focus on the positives in your life and know that you’ve got what it takes to have an amazing life. 😀July 11, 2013 at 7:44 am #38410
I study in 12th grade. Well you are right. But I don’t feel satisfied when others are not happy around me. I tried to let go off but still it’s hard.July 11, 2013 at 7:46 am #38411MattParticipant
I can understand how disorienting it must be to have all of those signs around you, like why would your teacher call you lazy, why would your friend remove you from facebook? I’m sure there are many more that you’ve not mentioned. Have hope, there is always a path to joy. A few things came to heart as I read and reflected on your words.
It seems like a fertile time to confront your fear and develop courage. For instance, your teacher calls you lazy, and you become afraid of what that means. Your fear turns the words inwards and makes it about you. “Am I lazy? Is she right in calling me that? Do I deserve that? Why does she look at me so much?”
Consider that all of us feel fear, and it is absolutely necessary for us to develop courage. Courage is not being able to do scary things fearlessly, but the energy inside us that acknowledges the fear, and does the action anyway. Perhaps you could walk up to the teacher and courageously confront her on the name calling. “Why do you call me lazy, I do well and pay attention. When you call me lazy, I don’t like it and my feelings are hurt. Please stop.” Or the urdu equivalent. 🙂
The same is true of the other relationships. If you ask out the girl and she says no, you have the information it takes to move on. Women are often particular in their taste, and just because one likes you as a friend and not romatically does not mean you are unattractive to all girls. That is just the fear. Consider asking out another, and seeing where it goes. Remember courage is the energy that let’s us try and fail, try and fail until we try and succeed.
It sounds like when you feel fear of the unknown, your mind runs and runs. Its very creative! Perhaps some meditation would help with that. YouTube has some great videos on that, my favorite is a series be Ajahn Jayasaro. The fifth video in the series is a counting breath meditation that is simple and effective.
MattJuly 11, 2013 at 7:47 am #38412
Thank u 🙂July 11, 2013 at 7:49 am #38413
Well, Jade. The people who pull me down are so special to me. My best friend, my crush and many others. Whatever I will try to ignore the bad things they say. Because it’s my life and I should not let some other people be resistance to my future and present.July 11, 2013 at 7:54 am #38416
You are a great motivator and I really loved the way you described everything. Well I think I should know the reason for being called as lazy. At least she will tell me the reason, and I will try to eliminate it. Well I have been trying and failing, trying and failing and I hope that trying and succeeding part will soon come into my life. Thanks for the support by the way 🙂
WissamJuly 12, 2013 at 7:48 am #38482crystalParticipant
Ive been in the place where you are now…I wonder what makes these people who criticize you special.??? If someone criticizes you on the wrong point I think you should be bold and take a stand and oppose it…Im in 10th grade and so I know how much pressure you must be going through…I’ll tell you one incident…Everyday I have to tell the prayer in fron of an assembly of 1000 students and they repeat after me,so naturally I might get confused atleast one day..My teacher just hates me cos Im good in studies and I became the headgirl against her wish.(she wanted another girl who’s her pet to become the headgirl!!) I forgot the prayer and in front of all the 1000 students she told me that what a shame it is that Im studying in this school for 10 years and I don’t even know the prayer! I was almost about to cry but then I thought that this time I’ll keep quiet and next time I won’t give her the chance to complain…The next day she again shouted at me without a reason.But this time I didn’t tolerate it and I directly asked her what was my fault and I shouted back at a teacher for the first time…before that she kept insulting me withut reasons, for a long time I tolerated it but there comes a time when everyone has to stand up and just stop all the nonsense that’s happening around you…
I would suggest that you just remove the people who criticize you from your life..keep the people who make you feel good about yourself and you should yourself start feeling good about yourself.As Matt suggested go and confront your teacher.Silence her..! Don’t give her the chance to make you doubt yourself..! You know what you are capable of…Go and achieve what you want to….