February 12, 2021 at 5:09 am #374523
So i came from a chinese family, so every year in the chinese new year.. most chinese gather together with their families. My dad isnt in good terms with his siblings so we dont gather together anymore, also my mother is an only child.. so also cant gather as there is no siblings of her. So every year on chinese new year, its only me, my parents and my sister. So little isnt it.
I’m afraid and i dont have the confidence to chase girls, because she might didnt like this kind of family (and im obligated to marry a chinese, due to culture and i dont mind that). As most chinese families mostly gather a lot together, and if she finds out that every year my gathering is only the 4 of us.. she might feel that she wanna find another guy with better family. I’m so afraid right now, i feel like crying, i didnt ask to be born in this family. Most people always feel happy on chinese new year, but not me. What should i do? I feel like disconnecting with anyone right now. As today is chinese new year, i keep seeing everyone’s happy families in social media and i cant take it.
FelixFebruary 12, 2021 at 6:53 am #374524miyoidParticipant
As a girl, not Chinese, family is the last thing when it comes to choosing a guy. It may tell you a lot about the person’s character and outlook on life. But it cannot be a dealbreaker. Also, your family seems like a cute, cozy little family. Think about the crowded families with lots of drama and problems. Those have their down-sides as well. Even though I don’t know anything about how a Chinese girl would think, generally, I can honestly say that when two people love and care about each other, whether you have a family or not wouldn’t change anything. Although, you have a family! And that lucky girl might even think your family is better. I doubt all those Chinese girls surrounded by over-protective families must’ve had enough with all the crowd. They might need a peaceful family at some point.February 12, 2021 at 7:13 am #374525
Thank you so much for your reply. It means a lot to me who’s struggling today on chinese new year. As i’m still insecure because the chinese new year pics of my friends’ family keeps appearing on my social media.
So in your opinion i should just chase any girl without thinking of my parents sibling problems? But i will always get insecure because sooner or later i’ll have to tell her, and she must accept that if she choose me, her happy new year will be filled with only my small family (me, my parents and my sister). Do u have any tips on how should i explain to my future girlfriend about my parents sibling problems? I’m really insecure on this matter.
Most chinese girl in my city, im sure they still gather with their parents siblings unlike me… so their gathering are much larger than mine. Actually if my family still gather with my parents sibling, its also a large gathering… but it’s just that my dad and his siblings are not in good terms… so it cant be helped… and i must cope with the 4 of us only for gathering. I really hope that one day.. a girl can accept me with this kind of family.
I literally almost cried typing this, because i keep seeing how other’s family on social media are showing their happy pics.
FelixFebruary 14, 2021 at 5:36 am #374666PeggyParticipant
Chinese New Year happens one day per year. There are 364 other days in the year. You shouldn’t think of your small family gathering as a problem. Any girl you meet will have time to get to know you properly before being invited along to your celebration, and perhaps she will have already met your parents. It’s not a good idea to compare your family with other families. You don’t know what happens behind closed doors with those other families. One day your dad might make it up with his siblings, then it becomes a large family gathering. Things change all the time. If you need to explain your small gatherings to your future girlfriend, just be matter of fact about it. This is not your fault.
Please stop worrying about this. Just enjoy your youth and enjoy being with all the girls you are going to meet. Mostly, things just fall into place.
Love and Light
PeggyDecember 10, 2021 at 6:56 pm #389664
Can anyone give some more advice regarding this issue?
I’d really appreciate it 😊January 8, 2023 at 9:00 am #413447anitaParticipant
Dear Felix aka Greg aka Eric:
I am bringing this thread (and other threads under this account) to the front so to study it and be better able to offer you something helpful. I will return to this thread later.
anitaJanuary 8, 2023 at 12:41 pm #413463anitaParticipant
Dear Felix aka Greg aka Eric:
I was going to study your threads yet again, and I started.. but then I figured that what’s important is not what more I can learn about you, but what more you can learn about you.
The many hundreds of posts that you submitted and the many hundreds of replies that you received (all here on record, currently accessible on the 1st page of topics) are a very valuable opportunity for you to learn about this very interesting, fascinating, valuable human being I know: you!
You can learn about how you’ve been thinking over time, what actions you chose to take; what progress you have made so far, and what more progress you would like to make in the future.
If you choose this path of learning more about you, using your threads as a resource, I will be excited for you and hope that you get a good return on your investment of time and work!