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i need someone to listen to my hard time

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  • #121022
    NeedHelp
    Participant

    Hi sorry to be so dramatic, Im new to this wonderful site, i have seen many people share and receive wonderful reply,
    Here my story Im 20 years old ( year 3 IT student) in this few years, my dad’s healths dropping down after heart attack and now he has cancer, I used to be a happy person but now everything seems to dull. my dad can not manage our small family business anymore, so me and my mom have to take the responsibility.Feel bad to say this , but Im young and i have not really enjoy my life so much so far, i never thought about taking this responsibility so fast and so early in life. Its maybe stupid to say this thing when my dad has cancer. I still want to have fun , and i never have a Gf in my life.
    The business generate some money, but we have to cure my dad, and im know next to nothing about this business, and its have no weekend for us.
    now i feel tired(even I not really fully taking responsibility), i feel like i want to cry, want to tell someone (but no one to talk to) feel like my life will stuck in this business forever.
    I have to drop out, even only 1 year left, i feel like i miss my friends a lot.
    Thing even getting worse I also fall in love with a Girl ( i know I am a stupid idiot to do that when My dad have cancer), but i cant stop it, i guest love can not be stop.She is a exchange student for 1 year ( go back to her country in 7months from now). I know she may not return to my country after she left.I really want to tell her my feeling,but im now encounter a many troubles , and she still going to left me in the near future(even if she also have that feeling it still gonna left us a sad feeling after she gone)
    I think I messed this life up, every time i think of all the troubles i have, my heart start to feel heavy,
    sorry for being so stupid, i really want to share my story with every one.

    #121024
    prerna
    Participant

    Hi,
    First of all im sorry to hear about your situation i know you are going through a hard time but thats life for you.
    Look these are testing times im sure youv had a good life so far and im 110% sure you are going to have a better one later in life. Now is the time you cannot really see beyond the mountain of your dad’s suffering and responsibilities that have prematurey come your way but THIS TOO SHALL PASS. the difference between good times and bad times is that the good ones seem to fly in snap of seconds and the bad times literally makes time crawl.
    My only suggestion to you is that first of all you have to stop feeling sorry that you are writing about what you are feeling infact im glad that you have come up with it, not everyone has the guts to come out open with it and seek help which is te first signal of the strength you possess. Time heals everything buddy but TIME ALSO TAKES TIME. Be headstrong face the challenges that are coming your way-

    1.Be there with your mom hanle the business it might seem undoable right now but eventually in some time youl find your way through and there aree possibilities that your engagement in the business may help you to take you away from such thoughts so tht brings two benefits : you feel less of what you are feeling right now coz you are busy learning the business and you make your parent proud already at the age of 20 IMAGINE your dad knows that his son is capable enough to look after the family and your mom needs to put less effort in it if you learn it and take care of other things. Trust me on this one once you are on the job time passes like anything.

    2. Talk it out to yoour college authorities for an arrangement where you donnot have to drop college and that you can ateast appear for exams. Your situation is a considerable one it might just work out for you provided you give it a shot and talk it out to someone in authority. Im sure they will understand afterall humans are creation of god and someone will surely undestand. Imagine what if it works out then yu dont have to drop you college and still bget to complete your studies.

    3.As far as having fun with friends and having a gf is concerned its a very natural the way you are feeling about them. But first you have to understand they are not priority at this point of time. It may sound Harsh but at this point of time your family needs you more than you need your friends, and this is the time when you realize who the real ones are and who you need in life. All this is not priority right now but ONLY NOW. ONce things settle a little you can definately fall in love and have fun with friends and even now take out sometime ang go out to unwind its much needed. but you donnot have to get carried away.

    4 Lastly TRUST GOD he wont give you more than you and your family can take. He has just put you on a trial prove him that you are a good son and you will be rewarded in abundance. Serve your parents like GOD and GOD will serve you like his own special child.

    Stop stressing so much breath out take a fresh start get down to the business, talk to your authorities, take care of you mom and dad, Do all things that your dad will be happy about it surely will bring some healing in his life too. REST GOD IS RIGHT BESIDE YOU GIVING STRENGTH AND LOVE.TRUST HIM AND YOU WILL BE FINE IN NO TIME.

    LOADS OF BLESSINGS AND STRENGHT TO YOU. TAKE CARE.

    #121026
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi NeedHelp,

    I agree totally with the advice given above.

    Tell the Dean of your college that you are in Crisis right now. All colleges want to take care of their students. Maybe there is a way for you to still graduate on time, take a semester off, or work something out with your professors.

    Falling in love I think is a much needed distraction. Often during difficult times in my life I was living in two different time lines. Yes, it is possible to deal with your dad’s cancer and have that golden romantic period with someone simultaneously. Just don’t hold on to her, it looks like it’s temporary.

    And finally, you are SO YOUNG! There WILL be fun, good times in your life ~ sooner than you think!

    God Bless,

    Inky

    #121027

    I can say sorry for U…

    #121029
    NeedHelp
    Participant

    All you guy and me never known each other, but you are really nice to me. You all are too good no word can describe you guys . And j wish for you the best in life , you guys are my brother in need

    #121031
    Alien incident47
    Participant

    Looks like the clouds are heavy above you , don’t worry they will pass . Sometimes the sacrifice we make now will put us in a better future. If you can write to your gf, if you love her then talk to her, email her , never know what you two will become in the future. Tend to the family business, if you got employees they are dependent on you , so ask there input too if you got questions or not sure
    Be a team not an individual. Ask your dad if you got questions too keep his mind occupied. And feel free to write here again if you got questions

    #121033
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear NeedHelp:

    My advice is that you do not sacrifice your life. Compromise it temporarily, maybe, but don’t sacrifice it. Keep your education going- maybe take a year break- but keep it going.

    While your father is sick, you still have your feelings and it is okay to feel whatever it is that you feel. Your life is important at all times, even when your father is sick.

    We all have sickness and death in our future. Make your life good for you- this is your first responsibility.

    anita

    #121083
    XenopusTex
    Participant

    I agree with Anita. Sacrificing your life is a bad plan.

    I’m known for being somewhat forthcoming, here goes:

    Whether you fall in love or don’t fall in love doesn’t affect your father’s medical condition. Well, let me back that up a moment… depending on his outlook, mindset, etc., a successful relationship might encourage recovery (if such is possible). You’d be amazed at what the human body can do if it has something to look forward to.

    At 20, you still have time to figure out what direction you want your life to go. I’ve tried doing the dutiful child thing, and let me tell you, it s*cks.

    We all do have death in our future, as far as sickness preceding death, not so sure on that; lot of ways to get your ticket punched that don’t involve protracted illnesses.

    Not sure that I can recommend religion as a cure all. Don’t get me wrong, I will sometimes walk down to the local Catholic church to spend some quiet thinking time, and sometimes find myself coming up with answers to questions I pose. Whether that is a product of divine intervention or simply quiet time for the massively powerful subconscious mind to data crunch, I cannot say. Religions can be a great source of guilt complexes which really doesn’t help much at all.

    #121771
    Lillian
    Participant

    Hello fellow people,
    I also have a very hard time in school right now. I know I am only a little 6th grader, but I am so stressed with math! I try to do things and keep failing. I try so hard to get it right. Everyone is criticizing me because I can not spell nor answer simple math questions. It is very hard to understand everything in math. Last year my really good math teacher dropped out. All year we had subs! So yeah. Last year I had a bully, I was chased, cursed at, threatened, and even hit. I had horrible grades last year. Now I am back to straight A’s but I still struggle to work. Life at home hasn’t been great either. A little brother pestering me every second while homework studying and much more. I feel bad that I am saying this when other people have more serious things.

    #121776
    Anonymous
    Guest

    * Dear lilyloveseverything: ]
    School life is not an easy life, especially when there (was) a bully in the mix- that is serious. Trouble at home is also a serious thing. Please do feel comfortable to start your own thread- click FORUMS, choose a CATEGORY, click your chosen category and scroll down the page. You can copy the above and paste there, add to it, or start from the beginning.
    anita

    #121835
    Lillian
    Participant

    Thanks

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