Hi, thanks for your replies and empathy.

Jack, it is not my boss, but my colleague actually. I don’t want to quit my job because of it (although i’ve thought and wished quite a few times), because i think that would be running away from difficulties, which i will encounter elsewhere. But also not because i find the place where i work so lovely, all the coworkers and the bosses, they are really nice and i’ve never worked for such laid-back and easy-going bosses. I am so grateful for it. The woman is actually my colleague, and she started to work there later then me, so it would be wise of her to be a bit nicer than me, because i know more things than her and she needs me to organise certain things for her. (but then i am so stupid to help her anyway, regardless of how she treats me) But yes, indeed, these unskilled jobs often get people who are not very intelligent or haven’t studied much, so are much more prone to rude and unco-operative behavior.

Thank you Anita, you are so kind! I’m not going to do this exercise right now, because i’m extremely tired (so many sleepless nights and stress due to this situation) – i’m just trying to get some rest and get my mind off the whole situation. But i’ll remember it for the next time i need something to try to get my mind clearer.

Hi Mike, thank you as well for your kind and understanding words. You say a lot of things in these few sentences 🙂
I am now trying to be “nice” to her – better said: correct. I’m not talking to her except for the necessary things about work. I always say thank you if she does something. I never comment if she doesn’t do things but i just do them myself. And if she is bossing me around, or unkind to her, i don’t say anything, i let her do it and am obedient. That is definately not the right way but i do it out of my fear, and in order to have the least chance to have her shouting at me. Stupid of me, but it seems my fears have the power.

Thank you for sharing story about the snake. The thing is, i dont see myself like a snake. I don’t bite nor hiss. I am more like a frightened little mouse that hides in the corner and barely dares to come out. Or a dog that you can snap at a few times, and can treat badly if you want, and will keep coming to you and trying to please you. If i’d start to hiss, it goes so much against my nature that it would exhaust me. I don’t know if that works for me, to be honest.

I do remember an episode of, i think it was Kung Fu, where someone said that if there is fear in you, they will be able to put their dagger in you. If their is no fear, they will not find a place in you to put their dagger. Perhaps i should focus more on being happy and confident in myself, so that in future times, i will be above this, and people will not feel that it is a fight, or that there is space to treat me like that.