Hi there, i am so thankful that i came to see this post. Am aware that this is a year back, but i need to let you know that you have helped me a ton. Your situation is exactly mine, and i identified as a bisexual too. Sometimes it makes it harder because i just started realising my sexuality and this jealousy issue just seems to be interplaying with my sexuality in complexities.

I went on to read up about more perspective that can help me shift my beliefs. and if you’re still finding your way on this journey, please do give this a read. It helps me so much.

https://medium.com/@kathleeakers/female-jealousy-and-the-prettiest-girl-in-the-room-syndrome-b5d0d1a56c29

now i am just internalising this new belief, a newer, freer belief that:

Being the prettiest girl is not an accomplishment. Being the prettiest is completely subjective, is insignificant and self-defeating. And being the prettiest does not f-ing matter.
Because we are all more than that.

And i honour your journey. All of it. The part where we needed to be the prettiest, the part where we realised we aren’t helping ourselves, the part where we feel shameful of this desire, the part where we feel like burdening our partners, the part where we dont know how to deal with it all. Everything. I know what you’re going thru (or have gone thru), and you’re still very courageous, resilient and beautiful inside out. you’re not alone.

Dear Brianna:

I hope that dorothy replies to you (she posted only once, and it’s the post in this thread 1.5 years ago). If you want to talk to me/ others, you are welcome to share more about your self-esteem journey. I want to read about it and will be glad to reply.

anita

Dear Brianna:

You are welcome. If you are willing, let’s look deeper at it: when you were growing up with your family, did a parent positively attended to someone else, praising (a sibling perhaps, a cousin, a neighbor),  while you were ignored or negatively attended to/ criticized?

anita

Dear Brianna:

You shared: “I am going through a self esteem journey… I just have this insecure and threatened feeling when I’m with my partner and there’s another attractive girl in the room, on the tv screen, etc… My partner does not make me feel inadequate… I’ve dealt with self esteem for most of my life and I know a lot of women do as well and it’s baffling how much it can take over our lives…. I guess it’s only in relation to my partner these feelings come out. I want to reclaim myself… I think my dad has been a poor influence in regards to my self esteem and with the way I’ve seen him objectify women, so I’m sure that has part to do with at least being so critical of my appearance”-

Eddu saver/ com: sexual objectification effects on women‘s mental health:

“Sexual objectification occurs when a woman’s body, body parts, or sexual functions are isolated from her whole and complex being and treated as objects simply to be looked at, coveted, or touched… Once sexually objectified, the worth of a woman’s body or body part is directly equated to its physical appearance or potential sexual function and is treated like it exists solely for others to use or consume…

“Forms of Sexual Objectification- Women frequently face sexual objectification in daily interpersonal interactions and through the active and passive consumption of multimedia. These two main avenues of exposure create a continuous stream of sexually objectifying experiences and images.. . Interpersonal sexual objectification occurs in the forms of unwanted body evaluation and sexual advances… catcalling and whistling, sexually insinuating stares, leering, and inappropriate sexual comments made about a woman’s body…  touching, fondling, or pinching someone inappropriately against her will… Some of these behaviors are now commonly referred to as microaggressions…(definition:) ‘brief and commonplace daily verbal, behavioral, and environmental indignities (often unconscious and unintentional) that communicate hostile, derogatory, or invalidating messages’… many acts of sexual objectification qualify as microaggressions by this definition…

“Most media outlets create further scenarios that expose women to sexual objectification… Advertisements, television shows, movies, music videos, printed media, and pornography all rampantly depict sexually objectifying images of women. Additionally, they often include characters who engage in sexually objectifying behaviors and include camera shots that place viewers in a sexually objectifying point of view…

“Effects of Sexual Objectification on Women’s Mental Health- … constant exposure to sexually objectifying experiences and images socializes women to internalize society’s perspective of the female body as their own primary view of their physical selves… This internalization is often referred to as self-objectification… Self-objectification is even found in women who view sexual objectification as harmless or even complimentary… the sexual objectification of women indirectly contributes to their mental health problems because it leads to self-objectification… the internalization of sexual objectification leads to constant self-monitoring, creating a state of self-consciousness that breeds feelings of shame and anxiety… Multiple studies have found a relationship between sexual objectification and disordered eating. Harned (2000) found that sexual harassment, which is often comprised of sexually objectifying behaviors, was a significant predictor of most disordered eating symptoms… Even self-objectifying women who report to enjoy being sexualized have still been found to engage in negative eating attitudes…

“Conclusion-  The current literature makes it clear that sexual objectification is both directly and indirectly linked to various mental health distresses and disorders in women, including anxiety, depression, disordered eating, and reduced experiences of flow and productivity. Constant experiences of sexual objectification cause women to internalize society’s scrutiny; the resulting self-objectification leads to habitual body monitoring and self-consciousness, which in turn increases feelings of body shame and appearance anxiety and diminishes states of flow… Sexual objectification awareness initiatives should not only be directed at girls and women, but at boys and men, parents and teachers. Despite various limitations, the present data and its implications for female development and mental health trajectories should still be seriously considered in the realms of policy, public health, and education.”

What do you think about this, Brianna?

anita

Hi Anita thank you for your very thoughtful answer. I need sometime to go through it and develop my honest response, but wanted to show my appreciation for you helping me.

To Kartik^

How are you, Brianna? I hope to read from you again sometime!

anita