May 23, 2016 at 5:02 am #105355
I am new here, this is my first post literally and this is honestly so unlike me to share anything private even with my parents but I realize I need to talk to someone and I felt safe to share it here.
My story short, I’m truly in love with a male celebrity from another country, I truly care about him and don’t want anything else in this world except making him happy and for me it’s either him or nobody at all, the thing is I don’t have money to just travel to his country and search for work while I am there I need to secure a job before I go and while I don’t really care what kind of job it is I mean I just want any job that will get me to settle in his country it’s hard to find jobs for foreigners in this particular country and I feel lost because I don’t have specific field that I can concentrate on and don’t know what to do? My parents on the other hand don’t know about this because I was brought up in conservant environment and my church (I am an orthodox) does not believe in dancing and thinks it’s a sin (my celebrity is a performer singer and actor) but I don’t at all and I am afraid if I tell my parents they are going to attack me with phrases like “you should not go after a worldly thing” and “he is not worth getting lost in the world for” and such, I feel that God made me know about him and put the love for him in my heart so deep that it grows everyday and I really don’t love him just because he looks good or does great art I watched a lot of reality shows about him and watched his personality that I truly love about him, he is so modest and caring about everyone and a lot of people close and not close said that about him. He is currently serving his mandatory military service and will be back in feb 2017 and I’m trying to be settled in his country by that time so I can confess face to face to him (yes he doesn’t know anything about my feelings and I never met him face to face before) I mean he gets a lot of confessions online and I want to tell him face to face. I am willing to leave my country and settle in his in order to be with him and I really want him all good and bad and the ugly I don’t have this fantasy that he’s perfect or that he doesn’t have a weakness or something I just took the decision to love him to love EVERYTHING about him.
I am sorry for my long post and if I sounded confused it’s only because I am I really love him and want him all and of course I know he might reject me which is of course will be very painful to me but I won’t force him to love or to want me I will just settle being alone because it will hurt more if I am with someone else than if I was alone, I pray for him everyday to be happy and to have more than everything he could ever want or imagine he so deserves it. again thank you for being patient with and sorry again for writing such a long post.I would like to know if you have any suggestions about how I should get to his country fast.
Thanks a lot.May 23, 2016 at 7:16 am #105359AnonymousGuest
I will repeat (and fill in with my understanding) your story here in my words. After you read, do tell me if I understand your story correctly: You are a young woman, early twenties (?). You live with your parents in a conservative country, orthodox religion practiced by your parents. They taught you that dancing is a sin, and to not go after worldly things. You fell in love with an entertainer, a celebrity from another country whom you never met in person. You are in love with his personality and character as you observed in his shows and reality shows, as well as what people say about him on those reality shows. He is performing his military duty presently and until February 2017. You want to leave your country and move to his country for the purpose of meeting him face to face and confessing your love for him.
You feel intense and sincere love for him. You understand he is not perfect and are willing to love everything about him. You understand that he may reject you. You believe you will not love another man other than him, and if he rejects you, you prefer to live alone than with another man. Am I correct so far?
My comments: first, no need to get to his country before February 2017, correct? That is nine months from now. Since you are aware that he may reject you as a future girlfriend/ wife, maybe you want to get to his country just for a visit and not to settle there? At least until you meet him and see his response? Preparing for a visit is different than preparing to live there. If you visit and he responds positively, then you can plan on living there, employment and all.
It seems to me that the greatest gift you have in you to give him, a gift that you value highly, most highly, a gift you wish you enjoyed, is “to love EVERYTHING about him.” This is indeed a great gift.
If your parents loved everything about you, how would it be like for you?
anitaMay 23, 2016 at 8:01 am #105362
first thank you so much for replying, and yes you got me totally right, but my parents don’t also believe that all forms of dance is a sin. because I’m from Egypt the origin of belly dancing and it’s such a huge part of our movie heritage and culture and since it implies (maybe some sexual moves) that’s why the church consider it unfavorable maybe not fully a sin but definitely not a good thing unlike me and my parents we don’t think that dancing is bad we know it’s a form of art.My parents also love me for whatever I am but their reaction would probably and I don’t for sure but probably would be that I am leaving God to go after someone that might reject me and maybe lose my self to the world instead of focusing on God but I don’t know how to show them that I truly love the kind of love the bible is talking about and that it’s truly from God, I am just so worried of their reaction, and in Egypt an unmarried woman can not leave the country alone without the aproval of her father or a godfather or some male authority who’s responsible for her if her father is not alive.
I am almost 25 years old and the problem with just visiting is money, money is a huge issue for me and safest way financially to get there as I believe is through securing a job before I go (maybe there are other options I didn’t consider) also I know from interviews that he likes to be in a relationship for long enough time to be able to get to know the person well so I don’t think just visiting will make him want to be with me because I won’t be around for a long enough time with him and he doesn’t really think communicating over the internet is efficient and actually so do I so I prefer to live their.
I want to thank you for saying that a great gift I could give him is love EVERYTHING about him, it means a lot to me and I know there are a lot of things I still don’t know about him and I’m looking forward to know them.
Again thank you so much Anita for replying I really appreciate it I needed and still need to talk to someone about it, thank you so much 🙂May 23, 2016 at 8:09 am #105363AnonymousGuest
I am familiar with belly dancing- watched quite a few Egyptian movies, mostly love stories and they had plenty of belly dancing in them.
You are welcome. It is indeed a great gift, for a person to be loved for everything he/ she is.
If you didn’t know about the celebrity you are in love with, would you consider moving to another country? To that country? Are there reasons that you would like to move out of Egypt (if he didn’t exist)?
anitaMay 23, 2016 at 8:16 am #105364
Actually no, if he didn’t exist I wouldn’t consider leaving Egypt, but I am willing to leave and adapt to his country’s culture just to be with him (if he accepted of course), if he rejects I don’t know whether I would want to come back or stay there to be able to attend his concerts and support him as a fan because he never came to egypt and I don’t know if he will, I wish of course.May 23, 2016 at 8:31 am #105365
He’s a South Korean artist and he’s serving his military service on the borders with north korea and that on it’s own makes me worried so much about him but I’m praying along with the rest of the fandom for his safety.
For work I have tried to get a job in Samsung Egypt and then go to Korea but didn’t work, so tried to connect to the company in korea but also didn’t find a job suitable for my entry level and I am learning Korean and determined to get fluent in it as I know for sure that they need people who can speak Korean but I also realize that that’s not enough I am confused whether to focus my search and learning on graphic design or should I search every kind of job that I might be able to get, I just don’t know what’s the fastest way to get there and confused.
May 23, 2016 at 8:35 am #105367AnonymousGuest
- This reply was modified 7 years, 4 months ago by Tina.
Then it would be a great sacrifice, on your part, to move to his country just for the purpose of having a chance to have a relationship with him. I have more questions for the purpose of helping you, through out communication, to shed more light on your situation. Next question is: is you moved to his country, and you met him, and he was interested in seeing you again, would you be okay in him dating you while he dated other women or will you be expecting him to see you exclusively from the very start?
If he didn’t want to be exclusive while dating you, will it bother you that as you struggle to work and survive in that country, that he will be dating other women?
Could you indeed love everything about him, when “everything” includes him seeing other women while he is seeing you?
anitaMay 23, 2016 at 8:53 am #105369
I would prefer not but if he wants it to be that way, I will stick around and won’t leave to show him that I am the only one he wants to spend the rest of his life with, however also from interviews I think he’s the type of person who sticks to one until he figures out that they can’t be together (I don’t know his love history) but I would definitely not leave and act cool to convince him that he only wants me, I understand he might want some space and I respect that. I want him to be exclusive to me because he wants to not because he has to.May 23, 2016 at 9:10 am #105370AnonymousGuest
It would be a great sacrifice and great investment on your part for a small chance of success. Why a small chance of success? Because for any two people, unless the marriage is arranged by the families as is the custom in some countries and cultures, the chances for a lifetime together is small. Add to it the fact that he is a celebrity and has many fans, many of which are young women like you, further decreases your chances.
You will be leaving your country, your family, breaking societal conventions in your country, struggling to work and live in a foreign country for a very small chance of success.
And then, if you make it, live and work in South Korea, struggling with making enough money to pay your rent and expenses, experiencing the loneliness of living far away from your family and culture, in THOSE circumstances, you will be experiencing a distress that you are not anticipating right now.
At this point, you are filled with a loving feeling for him. This loving feeling consumes you and you don’t see beyond it. You don’t see how once you are there, struggling, alone and lonely, that in that kind of distress, the loving feeling is not likely to sustain you. At one point, you will wonder what you are doing there, struggling as hard as you will be. We are not altruistic creatures by nature: self interest is part of who we are.
At one point, struggling there, you will be thinking: what am I getting out of this?
If I was you, I would look for a person to talk to, a person you can sit with and talk with, feeling safe with. Talk with someone you can trust about your feelings for this celebrity and your plans.
Please do post again on the topic. Let me know if there is anything I can help you with (I can’t help with the how-to move to and live in South Korea).
anitaMay 23, 2016 at 9:25 am #105371
I said in my first post I don’t want anyone other than him, I understand the small chance and everything but I need to atleast try for I know this love is not superficial I have been in love with him ever since 2013 and my love and understanding for him is increasing, my happiness is making him happy, he had a scandal in which his ex girlfriend has wrongly accused him of things that were proven to be not true and during that time it my love and respect for him increased so much. I know that he has a lot of fans but I am committed to make at least know how I feel about him, I can’t ignore this love I have for him I dream to make a family with him and make a great interracial love between Egypt’s culture and Korea’s culture which I really respect because of him.
I don’t have anyone to talk to that I can trust, that’s why I posted it here. I know that I will struggle hard to live there and that really bad days will come but I don’t want to give up to those, I really don’t want to give up on him before even trying.May 23, 2016 at 9:27 am #105374
I fell in love with him because he’s emotional as well as me and because I have an artist inside of me I can really relate to him and I see reflections of myself in his art and in him.May 23, 2016 at 9:37 am #105375AnonymousGuest
You wrote: ” I know this love is not superficial”. I have no doubt that your love for him is not superficial. I believe the love you feel for him is deep and intense, deep enough and intense enough that you are planning on leaving your family, country and moving to a foreign country for the small chance of a life together with him.
So I know your love for him, your love, is very deep and very intense.
What accusations did his ex girlfriend made about him? And what about that scandal endeared him to your heart?
anitaMay 23, 2016 at 10:02 am #105376
she accused him that he beat her and she gave fake evidence for that and his lawyer proved that all this was fake but the case is still ongoing, also she had a baby with him and now he is fighting for the custody of the child and we as a fandom are behind him and supporting him we are a very loving and caring fandom the kind of motherly love giving fans, we are telling him and his family to not leave the child in her hands she’s so manipulative and always uses media and never provided real evidence for her claims. I understand all that will have influence on him and that he also might be afraid to approach love again but I trust that his love for life and our prayers for him will make him heal of all that, I also understand that it’s going to be hard to be with him and raising that child as my own (although we are still skeptical that there is truly a child) as people might think I will not love the child as my own but I took the decision to love the child if he truly exists. All that made feel so bad that I am not near him to comfort him all I could do is to send him messages online that I was not sure he could access them and pray for him, what made me love him more is that he was so patient with her and didn’t sue her but she wouldn’t stop so he had eventually to defend himself.
Also all this made me so deeply connected with him on a level I can not describe, when this scandal broke out in the news in korea and I haven’t yet know about it my heart was beating so fast in an unpleasant way as if I was so nervous, I felt like I was feeling his fear when it broke out the next day I knew what had happened and of course I was shocked in the beginning but my love for him and knowing his personality I knew he wouldn’t do such a thing and if he did then he made a mistake that he must pay for but that wouldn’t change my love for him also and my love for him grew stronger ever since as well as all the fans.May 23, 2016 at 10:12 am #105378
Also because of the scandal, I know that I will have to be very patient and slow with him because this must have left fear of love inside him.
I want to be able to overcome those bad days in korea where I’m gonna be alone and struggling and also I don’t plan on leaving my family out of the equation completely I know they love him if they dealt with him it’s that their reaction might be that they don’t want to even deal with or hear of him. I want them to part of the family and I’m determined to make them this way.May 23, 2016 at 10:27 am #105380AnonymousGuest
I see. This celebrity’s fandom, the website of the fandom, how many fans does he have? Do you know how many of them are females? Do other female fans on the site express loving feelings for him of the kind you have?
How many of the fans live outside Korea, do you know? Did any fan outside Korea expressed plans to move to Korea so to meet him, have a relationship with him?
Did you express the nature of your love for him on the website… or your plans to move there? Why/ why not?