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I'm jealous of my best friends

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  • August 1, 2018 at 7:31 am #219851
    Julie
    Participant

    So I wrote a forum last week about me and one of my best friend’s not speaking because me and my other best friend weren’t talking. Long story short, we’re all cool now but I’m jealous my two best friends are getting close. I’m afraid I’m gonna be left out or forgotten. I spoke with my male best friend about it because I can confide in him more than my female best friend. He’s way more understanding and sympathetic. He said that he can sense I was getting jealous but how my female best friend isn’t me at the end of the day. How I need to remain confident in my friendship with him and it felt nice to be reassured but for instance my female best friend woke up early to help my male best friend move. And it’s nice but I hate feeling jealous. I hate that they’re spending time together right now while I’m working. Is this normal to feel? I don’t like feeling this way. I want to be able to be happy and not worry about where I stand.

     

    Also apart of the reason why I believe I do feel like this is because I notice a shift in attitude in my female best friend since our last argument. I feel like ever since she’s gotten comfortable with my friends that i introduced her to, I feel as if she could care less about my friendship now and that really isn’t fair to me.

    August 1, 2018 at 8:46 am #219871
    Prash
    Participant

    Dear Julie,

    The mix of emotions are natural given how recent the incident was.

    The way to normalcy can happen through a shift of focus towards yourself. Focus on being compassionate to yourself. Appreciate and develop your own attributes. How your friend feels is not in your control but how you feel about yourself is. 

    When you are comfortable with your feelings, then you can communicate with your friend in a non confrontational way. 

    Take care

    August 2, 2018 at 9:43 am #220037
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Julie:

    I noticed before, during our communication in your previous thread, that you believe that because you introduced your best male friend to your best female friend, that it gives you some rights over the relationship between the two of them. It is not true. I will explain:

    when you introduce person him to her (believing both people are decent people), what follows is that maybe he will benefit her. But maybe he will hurt her. You don’t know the future.

    If the second scenario happens and  he hurts her, you don’t want to be held responsible for it, to be blamed for it, do you? For as long as to the best of your knowledge both were decent people, it will not be your fault.

    If the first scenario happens, and he benefits her, you don’t have a right to determine their relationship. They may appreciate the introduction, may be grateful to you, but you have no rights in determining their relationship.

    If you consider my suggestion here it may relieve some of your distress in the situation.

    anita

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