Hello, and thank you for taking your time to read this… hopefully you’ll leave your rich point of view/recommendation as a comment or message.

I’ll turn 20 in a few months and this is my problem:

I quit soccer when i was about 13, because of a serious injury, and then i went back to play when i was in high school, the thing is that i wasn’t in shape at all, and i didn’t feel comfortable with my mates. So i didn’t enjoy it at all. I suffered being in the team – sometimes I would even not go to the games because I didn’t enjoy it… due to my lack of shape and my atmosphere.

Now, time has passed by, and well I don’t know if its an obsession or a real dream to follow and become a professional soccer player.

I’ve always been physically ‘fragile’ get injured all the time. That always sets me back when trying to gain power, muscles, because i get injured after a couple of weeks of having started.

This is a major point, and I need your help:

If i follow my path of become a soccer player, there are many things that really make me think why to not become a soccer player:

1.- I hate to say this, but I’m a superficial person, I love physically beautiful women, and if i become a soccer player you don’t know where you’ll play, but lets assume that i will play in some country where theres not a high percentage of really beautiful girls (please, leave aside those comments: “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”… “beauty is a matter of tastes”… or “wherever you go there are beautiful women” – believe me that is not true, not everywhere you can find gorgeous girls every day just walking down the street – please, i don’t mind to offend anyone. I’m just sharing one of my problems

2.- Thank God, I have the opportunity to go to college, and I’m already planning to do a masters or PhD in some country abroad (if i get a scholarship) in something related to business, and yes, another of my problems, is that I want to be rich, so I can do and have whatever I want in this life (not for the sake of showing to others that I’m rich, but of fulfilling all my ‘materialistic’ desires, such as traveling, and buying as many houses/cars i’d like.

I’ve tried to forget about becoming a soccer player because that obsession hasn’t let me enjoy what i have in life, and what i currently do. And, well, going out every weekend and drinking, and having a good time with my friends, hasn’t turned out to be really fulfilling. I’m 19, and I don’t wanna do that for the next 10 years or so.

That’s where that lack of fulfillment comes. A fulfillment I feel that becoming a soccer player will bring me. But then again, when I play soccer with my friends, just for the sake of having fun, I sometimes don’t enjoy it because I’m so out of shape, but i don’t know if thats the real reason, or if its because I’m not ‘good enough’ anymore.

So, to sum up everything… if i follow my “academic” life, i will have parties, money (I know you might say that nothing guarantees that i’ll be rich, but believe me, i will if i follow that path because I’m ambitious, so just assume the ‘money’ thing), and women.

And if i become a soccer player, I might end up not liking it, not enjoying it… I might as well just never make it professionally because, like i said i might be “not good enough”… or i might get injured seriously and bye bye to everything (but this last one doesn’t really worry me, the point is is that i wanna prove to myself if i can make it)

And also, when I try to go back in shape, like getting conditioned to play football, it really sets me back, sometimes its just myself, because its really a pain in the ass to go through that conditioning, i’ve never liked running, but when its about soccer, things change… so sometimes i just stop, and say, oh well, i rather become a business man, its more comfortable, i’ll have more money (its an assumption), i won’t have a strict life, i’ll do whatever i want.. etc…

Ultimately, If I don’t really try (devote myself to it) to become a soccer player i have “thorn in my side”, and I already do, since i was 13. So, please help me, I don’t know if its an obsession of mine, or if its really a dream… And by the way, I haven’t felt that climactic, fulfilling emotion of happiness that you feel when you score a goal, in any other areas in my life. Yeah, Im happy when partying, meeting new people, going to school, etc… but that emotion has never appeared within these areas.

And, it already worries me, that in 10-15 years when looking back, and yeah perhaps i’ve fulfilled my life as a business man, but i don’t wanna look back and say.. why didn’t i try to become a prof. soccer player?? and yeah, that happens somewhere around when you are 20-30 yrs old.. and a business man you can be whenever, on your 30’s, 40’s, 60’s, 70’s, but not a soccer player… but at the same time, will soccer bring that happiness and joy to my life?

So, what do you guys think… is it an obsession that I should just try to forget about, or is it really a dream to become a professional soccer player (yeah, it sounds ironic, how you could know whether its a dream or not, if i don’t tell you… but since – i assume- you are older than me, and therefore have experienced more things in life, what do you suggest…

last but not least… i read a quote some time ago.. which goes something like: “young people don’t know what they want, while old people do but it’s already too late”

Sorry for the long confusing post… but its something that I can stop thinking about every single day