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Is this ghosting?

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Mark 2 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #300445

    Hannah
    Participant

    One thing I hate about dating is the idea of ghosting. I have never been ghosted before but it has happened to my friends and it’s something that genuinely freaks me out. I like this guy and he leaves me on read a lot even though he does initiate contact sometimes or gets back to me later. The issue is that he isn’t treating me how I want to be treated; he keeps blowing me off and it hurts my feelings because I feel like he doesn’t care about me. I usually intiate contact; i message him every day basically. I didn’t today because he blew me off this weekend and didnt apologize so I decided not to initiate contact anymore because communication goes both ways and he can talk to me if he wants. I’m really worried it’ll seem like I’m ghosting him though. If he reaches out, I will respond for sure but I just dont think I should be the one reaching out every time especially because of the way I’m being treated. Am I letting this guilt control me or should I keep focusing on me and letting him decide if he wants me around and let him message me?

    #300459

    Raju
    Participant

    Hannah,

    What you have been going through is quite understandable!  It happens when we have expectations from others.  It is quite hurting when we do not get reciprocal response from our loved ones as relationship is believed to be a two-way communication.  We all are common people and have not reached to that level where we love others selflessly and unconditionally.

    I do support your attitude that why you have to take initiative of contacting him every time.  The reason which I could make out from your post is that you are more emotionally attached to this guy than him.  You need to wait and watch this time whether he has the same feeling for you or not which will make the things clearer to you.  Thereafter, you can decided whichever way your want!  Secondly, if we have expectations from others we are bound to suffer.  Here, we need to have practical approach and less dependency of our happiness on others to make life more happier & pleasurable.

    Raju

    #300469

    JayJay
    Participant

    Hi Hannah,

    Is this an on-line relationship?

    My understanding of ghosting is that you never speak to or contact that person ever again.

    As he gets back to you when he’s able or ready to do so, suggests to me that he’s not ghosting you.

    Raju above says it all in his/her last sentence.

    Best wishes,

    Jay.

     

    #300627

    Mark
    Participant

    Hannah,

    I echo what Raju says in the last sentence as well.

    Whenever you allow someone to determine whether or not you are happy or enough then you are giving away your power.  You are not loving and respecting yourself.

    Read what you posted about him and how he is mistreating you.  Would you do the same to him or any other person?

    Mark

     

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