Home→Forums→Tough Times→Let her go?
- This topic has 1,011 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 10 months, 2 weeks ago by
anita.
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November 20, 2022 at 11:59 am #410394
AnonymousGuestDear pete:
Thank you for your good wishes!
“I’m 38 and she’s 43“- I thought she was older because she’s been a grandmother for a long time. Now I remember that she became a grandmother at a very early age.
“She’s not too busy for her other friends and makes new friends but just me she cuts out and tells me I did not do anything wrong. What do you think?“-
– I think that you did a few things that were wrong. I listed those things in my June 3, 2020 post (page 64): 1. “You told her (or messaged her) recently: ‘Whatever I did to you I am sorry‘– when you apologize, state specifically what it is that you are apologizing for. Don’t apologize for an unknown, for a whatever, 2. “You told her: ‘I just had a huge panic attack for over an hour finding out you’re on FB‘- saying this makes a person hearing it feel bad, as if she is responsible for your panic attack… There is a term to what you did in this sentence, it is called guilt-tripping”, and 3. “you keep pushing her to socialize with other people and then you get angry that she socializes with other people. Stop doing that. It is hypocritical to complain that she prefers to socialize with others over you and then push her to socialize with other people!”
You wrote in your post last night: “I don’t remember the last time she’s ever been honest with me, she just says a bunch of stuff“- too often, you haven’t been honest with her about your feedings, pete, ex.: encouraging her to socialize with others and then complaining that she does.
I know that it is very difficult to consider being wrong. It is difficult for me (and was even more difficult in the past) to consider saying and doing what’s wrong. But if you overcome this difficulty, life would be better for you.
* I am not saying that she is perfect. What I am saying is that you can become a more honest person (about how you feel) when you talk to her, if you do.
anita
November 20, 2022 at 3:09 pm #410464AnonymousInactiveNaw I don’t care about her anymore, she’s the past and will stay there for all I care and she’s obviously super glad to get me out of her life. As to what you said…things been bad way before that. I admit that was wrong to text that but things changed once she met that loser. Guys don’t like their women to have male friends because they are weak. Just a casualty of that. Part of the reason why she ended the friendship was because I did not text her once for like 6 months, the other part was her feeling sad about her breakup like a year and a half ago and got emotional. But she also didn’t text me once, either…so that’s just downright pathetic.
As for the ghosting stuff, definition of ghosting is to kick someone out of your life. I have not text her at all and she has not text me at all so it’s basically ghosting. It’s not my job to chase after someone that keeps disappearing. It’s literally black and white…if you never text or call your friend or ask to see them, they are not your friend. I don’t really even want friends…I am fine by myself. I just wanna do my own thing and talk to random women anywhere I am at. Right now I talk to LOTS of women at work, I got this cute korean chick I talk to and I make laugh a lot, ask her some personal questions too. Co workers say she’s my girlfriend (she isn’t). But I hit on every girl, I don’t care. People say “next week you will probably have new girls you’re talking to”. Probably true. I’m like the total opposite of this thread if you ever met me in person.
November 21, 2022 at 12:44 pm #410496AnonymousGuestDear pete:
Reads like you are content for now to have light, no commitment kinds of interactions with women, “random women” as you referred to them. Life is much easier this way, way easier than all the turmoil you experienced on and off for sooo very long, in regard to the woman this thread is about.
It will soon be Christmas.. will you be giving away candy canes dressed as Santa this year?
anita
November 21, 2022 at 1:39 pm #410498AnonymousInactiveYeah I prefer talking to any girl any time. I don’t really want a girl, I just like talking to them. I’m not lonely or anything, I don’t start feeling sad because I am single…I prefer it.
I stopped the candy cane stuff a few years ago.
November 21, 2022 at 1:46 pm #410499AnonymousGuestDear pete:
“I am single, I prefer it. I stopped the candy cane stuff a few years ago“- many men who are stuck in relationships they don’t want to be in, would say that your freedom is sweeter than candy!
anita
December 24, 2022 at 12:18 pm #412578AnonymousGuestMeRry ChriStmaS, Pete!
anita
December 27, 2022 at 11:03 pm #412728AnonymousInactiveMerry Xmas, hope you had a good one and have a great new years.
I just stayed home and ate pizza, ezpz. What did you do?
Saw that Korean customer, was trying to tell myself “no! I need to stop talking to people and only focus on myself”, but she walked in and started talking to me for 7 minutes about our xmases and more about eachother. She really wants me to come in and see her and eat there, I said I would but she laughed and said “you wont come in”, so i’ll try surprise her Jan 1st with a visit. She works 7 days a week for like 10 hour shifts since she owns it.
December 28, 2022 at 7:02 am #412741AnonymousGuestDear pete:
I stayed home too and watched the heavy rain outside. Christmas is all about staying home, isn’t it. So, you have a plan for Jan 1st, Korean food, I am guessing, and perhaps a new friend?
anita
December 28, 2022 at 11:38 am #412773AnonymousInactiveYeah staying home is nice.
Friend? i dunno about that after the last female friend I used to have, I don’t really wanna have friends if they eventually treat you like crap. I’ve had enough of dealing with women with jealous guys trying to either fight me or destroy me. It’s happened several times now. Such disrespect from other guys I get, enough is enough.
999 post…damn.
December 28, 2022 at 12:00 pm #412777AnonymousGuestDear pete:
And this has to be then the 1000th post: CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS to the two of us for reaching this number, and just on time for the new year, amazing!
anita
January 4, 2023 at 1:32 pm #413208AnonymousInactiveYeah I dunno if anyone else has a 1000+ post thread on this place. Anyway my plan is i’ll wait until around October and message that chick “hi” and see if she’s blocked me or gives me another “I’m too busy to be your friend, but only you” message again.
The other chick…I went to her job to eat and doesn’t really talk to me when I see her since, didn’t really think she was interested in me just being friendly. Basically she had a huge smile and said you showed up. I ate, then she talked to me for a couple minutes when she asked if I was wanting anything else. Talked to me for a couple minutes again after I paid and told me to have a good new years with a big smile. Oh well, it will be like that other customer that wasted my time and I stopped talking to her unless she needs help with something (she was sooooooo mad for a couple months lol), we have not said a word to eachother in 4 or 5 months now.
Hope you have a great year, maybe i’ll post again when I update you about texting the person this thread is about in Oct. 2023 is all about me now.
January 5, 2023 at 8:42 am #413236AnonymousGuestDear pete:
“Yeah I dunno if anyone else has a 1000+ post thread on this place. Anyway my plan is I’ll wait until around October (2023) and message that chick ‘hi’ and see if she’s blocked me or gives me another ‘I’m too busy to be your friend, but only you’ message again“-
-Exactly six years to the day, on Jan 5, 2017, you posted the following regarding my suggestion that you seek professional help (because you were feeling lots of pain at the time): “I can’t.. the darkness has me in its clutches. Not even the woman this thread is about can get me to see a counselor or what she wants me to get, a psychiatrist. I have to ride through my emotions, the only thing I know how to do… Definitely, the darkest time of my life right now, but still got to put on a happy face… I’m not.. a wise man with the answers. Just a guy in a thread, typing out his problems, giving out his daily details what he’s feeling and about this woman he’s friends with. Kinda nervous! In 2 and a half hours I’ll be texting her for her home phone number! Trying to be distracted again by video games“,
Jan 5, 2017, 9:13 pm: “I DID IT!!!! I got her home number. She gave it out and had a smiley face and I asked how work was. Going to talk tonight!”
Jan 5, 2017, 10:42 pm: “Talked about a bunch of stuff for 48 minutes, but she wanted to talk about how I was feeling since I text her I was in the darkest place of my life… Wants me to think about a journal and we can talk about it next time we talk on the phone… Told her she can call me whenever she wants, she said thanks. We both getting ready for bed now”.
Those were your last words on that night, 6 years ago. I boldfaced the parts where your positive excitement was so very evident. How very excited you were at the thought of talking with her!
“Hope you have a great year, maybe I’ll post again when I update you about texting the person this thread is about in Oct. 2023 is all about me now“- post again anytime, pete, aka blkhwkdwn1, and thank you: I hope that the two of us, individually and in the context of this thread, will have as great of a year as we can have!
anita
February 6, 2023 at 2:02 pm #415090AnonymousInactiveHey something weird happened to I just wanna see what you think.
Ok that woman I have a crush on, I asked her if she wanted to see a movie with me because I was confused if she was hinting at me or saying she will really be working that day, she just had a huge smile when I asked her she could come with me if she wants, couple seconds later I said “Oh you wont be coming in that day you meant”. The next time I saw her I was talking to a customer and said hey when she said hey as she walked out. The next time I saw her she walked by and said hey *my name* and I said hey and her voice went way up and she seemed to freak out and was asking me if anything is wrong and if I am doing ok like she was panicing. I said I was good and we talked for a while about movies and stuff and I was making her blush and smile/laugh like I always do. One of the co workers that overheard this said she seemed really worried about me.
It’s weird because it’s just a customer at my job. I wont be going after her though, she’s married with kids but yeah I got a big crush on her. I think she likes me a little or she’d not have freaked out like that.
February 6, 2023 at 2:24 pm #415096AnonymousGuestDear Pete:
I am about to be removed from the forums, yes: after 7 years and 9 months. I wasn’t able to focus well reading your recent post, but I hope that you will post again and that you will have perhaps a meeting of the minds with some other member who may reply to you. I will miss you, Pete and I wish you the best!!!
anita
February 6, 2023 at 2:37 pm #415098AnonymousInactiveAlright, I wish you the best too. Good luck in your life journey. I will remove myself from this place.
Thanks for everything.
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