Home→Forums→Tough Times→Let her go?
- This topic has 1,011 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 9 months, 2 weeks ago by
anita.
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November 15, 2016 at 8:01 am #120442
AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
Doesn’t read to me at all that she was getting angry, I don’t see it. She was gentle and patient throughout the latest exchange. The “UP TO YOU..I WAS JUST SUGGESTING” is in capital letters but it shows me that she wants you to know that she is not about controlling you, that (and I like this very much:) that she values you as the one to make your choices. And then she wrote: ” I’m sorry for prying” referring to having asked you about the pills in the garbage.
Again, what a gem she is.
You wrote: “Now you know why I said everyone loves her, she’s amazing and deserves a guy way better then me and why i’ll likely not pursue her.” – pay attention to my following point (I am fascinated by the following point myself:)
You know she is lovable and amazing and deserves the best. You believe it and have no doubt. THIS makes YOU an excellent potential partner for her. So many others, unfortunately, wouldn’t see how lovable, amazing and deserving she is. That in itself, that you see these things about her, makes you a good potential love partner for her!
anita
November 18, 2016 at 3:18 pm #120676AnonymousInactiveCrossing my fingers she comes to our buddies gig next Friday. She said “Yes but I usually work Fridays :(” If not then i’ll have to get together with her with some people some other time soon after. Remember when we had dinner together? I said “we should go for coffee in a month, she said “that’s too long away Pat”, as in we should get a coffee in a few weeks, but it’s been 3 weeks and it’s my turn to ask her for a coffee this time, but I can’t seem to do it…I want to but my feelings were “she was just being nice” or w/e, whatever my anxiety stirs up. Always feel like “WHY WOULD SHE WANNA HANG OUT WITH YOU STILL???”, i’m a mess…don’t plan to go get meds or see a therapist like she wants me to in that text convo I posted. I don’t want to, my plan is still the same to hopefully die soon. Never changed, never will tbh.
November 18, 2016 at 7:14 pm #120687AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
She likes you, that’s why she would want to hang out with you still. You are likeable. I think you are likeable- the way you have expressed yourself on this thread, simply likeable. I can’t think specifically why, right now (getting tired, almost bed time)- I think it is your easy flowing writing, the honesty in it. It is honest, and I like honesty. Hence, you are likeable. Oh, and another thing I already wrote to you- you think so highly of her! She senses it and likes it. It is a wonderful feeling to be thought highly of. Don’t underestimate it.
We will all die, don’t rush it, please. Like Clint Eastwood said in the movie Unforgiven: “We all have it coming, kid.” Just like before you were born there was an eternity without you, after you die there will be another eternity without you. Don’t chase that eternity, it will come to you.
Same for me and for each and every individual that is breathing as I type this.
Hope she can make it Friday; otherwise, invite her for coffee, will you, please?
anita
November 19, 2016 at 2:18 pm #120737AnonymousInactiveWhat about texting? unless we are going to hangout or i’m bringing people over to her work and she asks how many she never texts me first anymore like she did all Sept and early October. She still knows very little about me, i’m the only one who asks the questions to get to know her. She used to text me just to say hi, now i’m pretty sure if I stopped texting her i’ll never hear from her again lol, so I try texting her 2-3 days a week just to catch up. People at my work say they don’t text eachother often, the way it sounds like it has to be them to text her. She did say I can come over to her job anytime even if it’s a lot, but it’s a restaurant so yeah I literally could come everyday if I choose, but i’ll stick to a few times a month maybe unless i’m in the area then i’ll just drop in and say hi.
I dunno how people can go long periods of time not texting their friends…isn’t friendship staying in touch with the person? texting AND in person. Not like once a month sort of thing, but a regular basis, or you’re just being an aquantance. Maybe my idea of a friendship is all wrong? my idea of a friendship is staying in touch with them in person and texting on a regular basis. Not everyday! but maybe a few times a week sort of thing? afterall you need time to yourself aswell and do your thing. We don’t hang out much, so we just got the texting thing down and that’s only because i’m the one texting or i’d not consider this a friendship.
Maybe i’m just overthinking this? I dunno…
November 19, 2016 at 7:14 pm #120747AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
I don’t know the answers but I have clues- if I had her work and personal schedule, as you described it, and witnessed that one time you joined her for errands, well… I don’t think I could keep such a schedule for long. She is very, very busy” she has a teenage daughter she drives around and a sister with a baby she is involved with and that job and what else? Shopping, cleaning, preparing food, paying bills, trying to avoid wheat, That is a lot of busi-ness, lots of things-to-do; less times for thinking.
You are doing way more thinking than she is doing, being less busy. I do wish that she did have more time with you, I really do. From reading the correspondence with her that you posted here, though, she does seem to like you and care for you!
anita
November 20, 2016 at 5:55 am #120762AnonymousInactiveHad a dream about her. She JUST met this man and fell for him pretty quickly and just out of the blue moved far far away with him, sent me a voice message on my phone telling me she’s moving and how much she cared about me more then friendship lmao. I was bawling my eyes out for the longest time in the dream aswell. Had to listen to it twice…crazy dream lol.
November 20, 2016 at 7:37 am #120764AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
It was a dream, not real. She is too engaged in her current life with her teenage daughter, for one, to be moving away. But then, dreams are free from any logic requirements.
But the dream does indicate your feelings for her and about her. She is definitely meaningful to you.
anita
November 20, 2016 at 4:22 pm #120796AnonymousInactiveApparently I found out at work she loves being single. Can you blame her though? 21 years with a depressed boyfriend. Not worried about that though, I like being single myself. More girls for me to flirt with.
November 20, 2016 at 6:31 pm #120797AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
Her boyfriend of 21 years being depressed makes me think of the song A Lovely Day by Bill Withers, a favorite of mine:
“When I wake up in the morning, love
And the sunlight hurts my eyes
And something without warning, love
Bears heavy on my mind
Then I look at you
And the world’s alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it’s gonna be
A lovely day
A lovely dayWhen the day that lies ahead of me
Seems impossible to face
When someone else instead of me
Always seems to know the way
Then I look at you
And the world’s alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it’s gonna be
A lovely day
A lovely day”Didn’t make her ex boyfriend have a lovely day to see her; he didn’t look at her and the world-was-alright with him, was it? I think having her in YOUR day does make it a lovely day for you. It has to make her feel good, that she makes a day that feels “impossible to face,” a better day for you.
anita
November 20, 2016 at 6:53 pm #120798AnonymousInactivePretty good lyrics, but not my kind of music. Did have 1 song that was pretty bang on a while ago called Casey Abrams Get Out (Keeno Remix).
BTW 100th post LOL!! never thought my thread would reach 100 posts. That’s a lot of back and fourth between us…thanks for all the support btw. 🙂
November 20, 2016 at 7:41 pm #120801AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
Congratulations for a 100 post- thread! This must be 101.
Casey Abrams Get Out, parts of lyrics I like:
Girl you hit me harder than a freight train
Right in the middle of my membrane
Driving backwards in the fast lane
Headlights off after midnight
Saw you shining in the starlight
Girl you got me like a bug bite
And now you’re under my skin
…Lately, I’ve been going crazy
‘Cause I want you baby
But you don’t, so get out, get out, get out, get out
‘Cause I’m breaking
And my soul is shaking
Like my world is quaking
If I can’t have you
Get out, get out, get out, get out of my heart
Of my heart, of my heart
Just get out, get out, get out, get out”I like it, I really do. Much faster than A Lovely Day and I am sure, less ancient. You being much younger than I am means a whole different music.
anita
November 20, 2016 at 8:18 pm #120802AnonymousInactiveI feel older then I am (32), probably look older then I am with my beard.
November 21, 2016 at 9:53 am #120816AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
32 seems young from where I am. When I was 28 I felt old though. I suppose it is always so that one is younger than some and older than others.
anita
November 23, 2016 at 7:06 pm #121005AnonymousInactiveThis sucks, she’s busy Friday working!!! She actually text me and said we should have a coffee soon.
Her: Hey pat how are you??
Her: I’m working latw Friday 🙁 I cant make the show
Her: *late
Her: Lets have coffee soon
Me: Hey just finished work, how you doing?
Me: Can’t make it? 🙁 Maybe the next one in feb. Steve said he’s most likely staying, only the amazing singer that’s leaving. I’ll probably watch alone as Jeff is working and Jay is helping his parents move.
Me: Yeah we should get a coffee soon, I remember you saying you didn’t wanna wait a month when we were at the pub, but I have been having my issues. Maybe in a week or 2?
Me: How is the no wheat going? still got your aches?Also found out today one of the women I work with goes for coffee and tea all the time with her at her place. Kinda depressed me, wish I was close like that but I guess women love hanging around women more then men and have those awesome relationships. Guess i’ll go alone now and have a few beers to settle my anxety so I can mingle and flirt with some girls like last time.
November 23, 2016 at 7:38 pm #121008AnonymousGuestDear blkhwkdwn1:
Too bad, but if she did make it Friday, and you acted like last time, not paying much attention to her, getting drunk and all, that wouldn’t be quality time with her anyway. Coffee with her is much better- make that happen!
And Friday, don’t drink way too much. Get mellow but not drunk, will you?
anita
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