Hi Anita
To the topic of suppressing vs expressing emotions. I would agree

The thought or image was as “partners in a quiet dance”, holding the tension of paradox as connection.

Expanding the metaphor, dancing with a partner requires tension as the means to create connection, to feel where the partner is. A connection we hope neither to light nor two heavy.

In dance, that subtle resistance isn’t conflict; it’s intimacy and communication. Feeling where the other is without overpowering or collapsing, just enough to know. Emotionally, that same kind of attuned tension allows us to meet our inner experience with respect. Not rushing to express nor forcing it down. But holding it, sensing it, moving with it.

Understanding, I trust, will arise but not as a driving force, not as the intention… the intention being to dance.

Like breath, we exhale and inhale. There are moments when a feeling held back is a kindness, to ourselves or others. And moments when releasing becomes a form of truth-telling, connection, and transformation. Neither is wrong. Neither is the whole. Together, they move us toward being.

A change in perspective where suppression vs expression becomes suppression and expression. Not poles in opposition but steps in rhythm. In that middle space, the breath between action and stillness, we cultivate a presence that doesn’t demand resolution, it listens, resonates. This was the experience of stillness while dancing.

In the second half of life, I wish to lean into that, a move from the head to the heart. A move from a seemingly insatiable need to understand and cry out why, to a quite yes.

Anyone following my posts might notice how difficult letting go of understanding has been, being a defining attribute of “my type”. The mind is so good at trying to protect us by explaining everything. But the heart of the fourth chakra isn’t to explain, it’s to witness and be open. Not the end of inquiry, but a softening.

Writing that I wonder if its not all wishful thinking, the ego disguising itself still wanting to understand… but maybe…

“Grant me the grace to hear the Voice beyond voices, the one that never shames or frightens, but invites, strengthens, and clarifies. Strip me gently of illusion and hostility until even my fear forgets its name.” – Anonymous

What would such a dance look like to you?

Hi Everyone

I agree, everything makes up the whole. It is all a natural part of life. The very nature of impermanence.

For me, there are so many feelings that can arise at the same time. I don’t just focus on one anymore when communicating, I try to look at the whole picture. How can I express all of them? How can I communicate my needs with compassion whilst meeting others needs? It is all a delicate balance.

Yes, suppression and avoidance are human nature. What we went through were normal reactions to severe trauma. The balance is just different from people who haven’t been through these things and it takes time to retrain it in a more balanced way. Avoidance and suppression used temporarily and in the right way are perfectly normal coping mechanisms. No one wants to lose their job when their temper flares and it is perfectly ok to take a break from things when needed.

I notice my anxiety is gathered around thoughts that contain underlying negative beliefs. What helps me at the moment acknowledging and addressing those beliefs with the appropriate affirmations. It is one of those things that only helps at the right time. Back in the day it would only have made me miserable because I wouldn’t have had my heart in it.

To be continued

Hi Anita
Sounds like you had a night 🙂

“I used to think in black-and-white terms—all-or-nothing”

Sadly, the digital age, especially with algorithm-driven platforms reinforces and amplifies our tendency to either-or, all or nothing, binary thinking.

Regarding the second half of life transition, the digital culture does make it harder to slow down and listen inwardly. On the other hand, it can be a great resource to explore the wisdom traditions and such.

I wonder what role AI will play? Will we use it to amplify the noise and distraction and quick fix. Or could it become a companion for reflection, ask better questions, and access deeper knowledge. LOL – I implied a ‘either or’ when the its going to be both.

Skillful discernment something the we will all need to develop… I hope society will be up to the task.

I was recently asked what I thought was the best advice the bible had to offer and the first thought that came to mind – “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”

In a culture of instant reactions the advice to step back to ponder, observe, absorb, and reflect. Her response to the miraculous a profound inward stillness, fully present to the moment. Such pondering isn’t passive; it’s thoughtful engagement. She’s not simply feeling her faith, she’s examining it, cherishing it, and contemplating its meaning, a invitation to blend heart and mind.

Good lord I’ve written a lot today and I’m still not done.

Treat others as you want to be treated.

At first I took it at face value, it’s about being kind and thought nothing more of it. These days I have been thinking that when we experience our darkest moments and even when we make mistakes is when we need kindness the most. The same goes for others.

As a parent, it is scary thinking that I can’t protect my son from struggles to come.

AI can already be used as a therapist. I don’t think it replaces human connection though. There is something special about opening your heart to another person. A vulnerability to it, trust.

I remember a story I read and really enjoyed. It focused on the city of Paris. Imagine being a tourist there. What a tourist might see and do. Then imagine being a local. What might they see and do?

The tourist has a specific perspective of Paris. The local another. In reality, every person who visits or lives in Paris will have their own perspectives of it. And all of these perspectives make up the whole.

I find that the mind and the body go hand in hand. I wouldn’t worry about it, you are doing good work Peter. I have faith that things will continue to unfold for you naturally in their own way, in their own time. Such is life! ❤️

I think that is a rather sensible view that it takes a healthy ego to let go. I can see it becoming more of a focus in the later half of life. But I do see the struggles of letting go occurring naturally throughout life. A toddler is a little addict. Everything is desire. Grappling with desire, developing a mental filter and learning to manage emotions are key to developing in a healthy way.

As a parent, life becomes unpredictable. All you can do is try and hope for the best because you don’t know the outcome. There are all of these hopes, dreams and fears bundled up with this tiny person, because you care and want them to have a good life. But it is their life. Their decision. Their future. And life whilst beautiful, is at times cruel. Letting go any semblance of control as your life becomes entwined in theirs.

And for many women they put their lives on hold either because it is not financially viable for them to work whilst raising young children or because research shows that being raised at home for their early years benefits their development. In this way, identity is stripped away and yet you become very busy.

Chronic illness also affects young people more than you’d think. Another stripping of identity.

I guess I’ve always been interested in spiritual development. For me, it is a habit that particularly took off in my early teens. People have their own habits and tendencies and life has its own path.

I feel like because people are older, things are seen as moving towards an end. There is a desire to prepare for that, perhaps?

Whereas being ill younger. There is a drive not to spend your whole life that way.

Almost a kind of duality. Playing on rejection and acceptance of different things.

I can understand not being motivated to experience fear Anita. It isn’t a pleasant process, especially for someone who has experienced so much of it in life.

I will say that things opened up even more for me with other emotions after getting to grips with expressing fear. You’re doing so well with expressing anger. I have faith that you will get around to it when you are ready in your own time. I understand how difficult it is to have no one to confide in growing up. ❤️

Anger was the last thing for me to get to grips with. I still need to work on developing my emotional regulation skills some more. I don’t want to rely on masking all of the time. I’m going to have to work on being vulnerable in an age appropriate way.