hallo  Anita,

i hope you are doing well .as you asked me last tim if i meet a new guy i should write here .so i want to write about him ..he contacted me almost start of 2018 about university admission and later he got admission in my city and we were preparing for papers togather ( group study)  from ( april – till start of june ) we were meeting on daily basis in library for 5-6 hours .so we became good friends we went for playing sport sometimes ,studying in library ,or he was helping me in shifting,cooking togather  (sometims after exams),going to cinema ,going fr shopping or festivals  etc .. it  was only start of june when we became  more close and he started liking me and told me he likes me ( nd i started liking him too) .we both were togather meeting almost daily ..after 2-3 weeks of that he said he loves me ..  things were goin very cool no rushing …and we can understand each other very well ..he has very caring , loving nature .he respects alot ..

everything is going great in this relationship  apart from one thing …he doesnt talk about our future .he himself said very first time  indirectly that he will marry me before a month  after that i was the one who asked when will we marry ? i asked 2 times i guess.. now its been more than 2 months  that we are  togather he doesnt talk about marraige  or doesnt share any thought about it …

as we are from two different caste this is a serious issue because our parents wont approve us to do intercaste marraiges .will he ever take any stand ? this makes me worry because tbh i dont want to be emotionally ,heartbroken at the end ..

i confronted him with this topic that what if your father dont approve or u wont be able to convince him ??

he was silent … he said  if i go against him( dad) i will regret whole life and if i leave you and agree with him i will also regret ..

i want both of you togather ( me + dad)….. than he was silent ….

he is also student like me and my studies take almost 3 years to complete and i m his senior  and he first wanted that he will talk to his family after my study complete …

but i said noo i cant wait 3 years just to know if your family accept me or not …

if he commit that whatever the case will he will convince evrybody than it will be okey but

as i m going to be  24 years old next month and  i am also going to face my family pressure  for marraige ..

i have this feeling that he wont be able to take any stand for me because he respect his family alot …at the end i will be heartbroken after 2-3 years …or what do you say about this….am i just overthinking ?? what should i do now

regards

Dear Anita ,

i dint get your 3rd point .

Ya he isnt in competition and he is really nice and loving . And very much honest as i saw him .but the only thing which worries him is that he will not take any stand .

When last time i talked to him about him he said that just give him a chance he ll try to convince him . Just don’t leave him without trying him .

Because i said him

that i feel like he doesn’t love me . He said he is sincere with me and just try him how he can prove his sincerity to me  .he offered me the passwords of account and said me if u want he can tell his siblings about us . But atleast give him chance.

I dont knw anita what to do . He feels so perfect and kind with me and always straight forward with me .

Do u think not continuing with him will be a good idea because i m already hurting by thinking about him that what if after an year or two he wont go against his family .

I m a girl i  have same caste issues Too .but i have gave up after knowing his opinion seriously.

Dear Anita ,

thats right . I actually talked to him and made things more clear . I said what if your family wont approve,will you leave me ?

He said nooo … we ll convince them they all agree than i said how about last conversation when u said that if u needed to choose one from you and family than u ll choose family etc .

He explained me All things .i got relieved a bit .

And anita this isnt streesing me out  now . Because i m just so messed up right now because of my exes now . Because one of my ex is spreading rumors about me .my mental peace is gone . Sometimes i get so hopless i feel as if my life is destroyed and i should better not live . I know this thinking are dangerous or may b i m being depressed again .

it took me almost one week to write you back as my life was messed up from last monday .