Hey

In first, sorry for my bad english. I’m french.

I  want to share a little bit my story . I’m a incest survivor, I was abused for 13 years ( 10-23) by my father. He is a violent and sort of sociopath, he can’t feel any emotion… I lived in heel, and i’m still living in hell. I just finish my law school in september 2017 and i have no money. My mom kick me out because she doesn’t want loose government Benefits since november 2017…

I lived 1 week in street, after I beg her to helps me beccause i didn’t want to be a homeless, i just finish law school ! I worked hard all my life !! I was terrified

So she finds “a solution”, I live in appartment’s father, he doesn’t live here  ( thanks god) but with her. But ofc,  he terrified me, he wants all my money  ( governement benefits ) and he threatens me,  sexual harrasment etc almost every day ! He came to his appart almost everyday !

I’m looking for a job and find another place to live !

I struggle with depression two times in my life. In november, i wasn’t feel good, i was depressed, cried every day, suicidal thoughts etc. I had many problems ( bank account closed, bc my ID is expired etc..) no money for buy food etc

Now things get better but I have to leave !

I meditate every day, sometimes 2 times /day and I do yoga everyday since 1 week. I already feel better,  I walk in the wood, I’m eating healthy food etc

I want to feel better in my mind and my body, I want to survive..I know that I need to go in therapy, but now, I can’t do it. I have to escape my toxic environement …

Can you give me tips for meditation ? I’m a beginner. I’m listening to spotify playlist : meditate/yoga by thejauntforckandhm. it’s really good and help me alot, i’m reading article from this website etc  but i want to learn how meditate in a better way…

Thank you !