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Moving on with depression

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • November 30, 2014 at 4:23 pm #68582
    Bluesman
    Participant

    I find myself in a quagmire, a depression where ive lost myself. I no longer do the things in life i enjoy.
    The things in life i did enjoy hardly scratch the surface of happiness as if ive lost my sanctuaries or havens.
    Ive been on antidepressants for almost 2 months now, and it is helping, but i just cant seem to muster the get up and go to get on with it all.
    Im able to do what needs to be done to survive, but i want to live a life!
    I want me back!

    Ive been pushing myself to get out of the house, but nothing seems to satisfy.
    Ive adopted several positive philosophies to get out of this rut ive created for myself, but its not really “working” and the disappointment is almost more than depressing.

    Ive had a history of depression in the past and even suffered ulcers and anxiety.
    Ive learned positive coping mechanisims, but this time i have allowed it in and i cant seem to make it leave.

    I just want to live a life!
    Question mark lol

    December 1, 2014 at 12:21 am #68598
    Dora Anne
    Participant

    Hi bluesman,
    It’s a tough time but you will be ok, my suggestions are to go running (even if it sounds the worst) and to plan a holiday and see something new, experience a new place. more ofte than not it is these simple things which break us out of our ruts. Try not to complain and plant positive seeds for yourself but most of all appreciate what you have, it really helps try writing it down. If you would like to talk to someone seek a counsellor or psychologist you click with as well. Best of luck 🙂

    December 1, 2014 at 2:00 pm #68626
    Bluesman
    Participant

    Thanks for the kimd words of wisdom and suggestions.

    On a quasi related note: ive had two anger filled days after having my feelimgs hurt and later dismissed.
    Anger is somewhat new to me and im usually pretty chill, mellow and rather acceptimg.
    My question here is: is this an improvememt?
    Anger is higher on the emotional scale, isn’t it?
    Could this be a means for a somewhat pacifist to deal?

    I know anger is usually a by product of hurt and pain, but this isn’t “normal” for me, to lash out.

    Improvement? Or a step further and deeper into the chasim of negative emotions?
    I felt better for a good while, but then was pretty hard on myself for my behavior, which at the time, i felt was just.
    Maybe i was just top over the top? Didn’t kmow when to stop, overflowimg with anger amd harshness.

    December 1, 2014 at 4:14 pm #68631
    Anne
    Participant

    Anger is “good” – you’re on the way out of depression. Unfortunately, anger is one of the easiest emotions to feel, so don’t be surprised if it comes spilling out quite irrationally for a while.

    This might help:

    http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

    December 4, 2014 at 5:14 pm #68771
    Bluesman
    Participant

    Great link, thank you for your post.

    December 10, 2014 at 9:29 am #69058
    Bluesman
    Participant

    Im beginning to see my anger in a new light.
    im not angry at the world, I still possess loving kindness.
    But my anger has a target, and I think its a symptom of many repressed emotions that ive bottled up over time, and they are rising to the surface one by one.
    I feel terrible for making this person feel all of these negative thoughts feelings and emtions of mine.
    But there is some liberation to letting it all out.
    Id be surprised if we are still friends, I do hope so, but I feel this is a light that needed to be shined for the both of our development to some degree.

    Im getting there and im trying to enjoy the journey.
    I think and hope I got a lot of this anger out and that I can advance to the next rung of the emotional ladder, whatever that may be.

    December 10, 2014 at 3:56 pm #69069
    Bluesman
    Participant

    emotional scale

    I found this early to kind of gage where im at

    I figure I’m some where between doubt and worry, which I can see is an improvement.
    but good things are going to happen one way or another. *BOOM* I’m making my way to the top!

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