My cousin is a brilliant girl. She goes to the #11 college in the country and works very hard. The only problem is she talks down on other people and me all the time. She calls people stupid left and right… including me. She means it when she calls people stupid and she looks down on them. She thinks I am stupid for many reasons… but I can’t accept her calling me stupid when I’M the only person who knows why I do the things I do. I do things for my reasons and I don’t deserve to be called stupid because of it. This has gone on my whole life and I even posted another post about how I believe she does it out of insecurity. But it is tough because she continuously calls me stupid yet she goes to a college for geniuses! Am I stupid? Here are some things she calls me stupid for:

1) I won’t leave my boyfriend who treats me bad. Yes, it is “stupid” but ultimately he makes me happy. Nobody knows how difficult it is for me when I try to leave. Nobody knows the bond we have despite his controlling nature. Nobody understands the details of my relationship. But I start to question myself and think, “am I stupid for not leaving my boyfriend if my cousin, who is a genius, says so?”

2) She thinks I’m stupid because I don’t know how to handle my emotions. But the truth is my cousin’s mom is ALWAYS there for her to support her through everything and has raised her to be a very mature girl. My father was/is always working and my mom was/is always taking care of my younger brothers. I don’t have the same support as her! I am getting help (a therapist) but that doesn’t mean I am stupid because I feel anxious but things that do not warrant anxious emotions. It is called anxiety and a lack of help.

3) She thinks I’m stupid because I don’t know what I want to do in life/ I am less ambitious than her. Yet this is my own choice. I don’t know what I want to do in life and I don’t want to jump into a random occupation. I am happy being a kid and I’m not trying to grow up as fast as I can. All I know is that I am good at what I love to do, so I am actively searching for what I love to do right now. To me, that is all that matters.

4) She just thinks I’m stupid in general. I am learning an uncommon language this year just because I am very interested in languages. It is a new language with a new alphabet. Yet my cousin didn’t hide the fact that she thought I was too stupid to learn this language. She told me, “you aren’t even good at Spanish so why are you trying to learn another language??” This hurt and confused me. First of all, Spanish has always been one of my favorite subjects and I have always been one of the best students in the class. I learn about the Spanish language in my own time (outside of school) just for fun. I speak with native Spanish speakers all the time for fun. I don’t understand how I am bad at Spanish? Native Spanish speakers have told me that I sound like Spanish is my first language when I speak it. While I know I am not a PERFECT speaker, I enjoy speaking it and do it often which has made me pretty good. I only started being genuinely passionate about Spanish 2 years ago. In my first year of learning the language, I did make a few mistakes here and there but that is entirely normal. For example, I had to correct myself often. It is hard to speak a language as if you are fluent when you only learn it in a class setting.  And you know what? I am good at languages. I got the highest score on the first exam in the class of my new language. My teacher is telling me I am doing good! I have a friend who is fluent in the language and she said she surprised at how fast I am picking up on it. I am no genius but I enjoy learning it so I don’t see how I am wrong. Also, whenever taking personality tests or career tests, my results always bring up languages.

So I am asking you.. am I stupid if my cousin who is a genius says so? Is she as smart as she thinks she is or could it be that she just works hard? Is it wrong for her to call me stupid? I am starting to believe I am stupid and I start to underestimate my achievements because of her words.