My Obese wife and my troubles with it

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    Dear Mr A

    Unfortunately you appear to adhere to a society which promotes excessive wealth and intellect over kindness & compassion and  women are  often regarded as 2nd class citizens especially if they fail to produce a male heir.

    Learning about Loving Kindness Meditations & practicing them alongside gratitude meditations may help raise your emotional IQ. Also I get a Daily Good by email each day I find it interesting & stimulating you could try reading this with your wife each evening, it may give you something to talk about on a level playing field.

    Kind regards




    Dear Mr. A

    What is the old saying? Turn around is fair play? If you put yourself in her shoes then you would understand that losing weight is not easy. Her body image in her mind is not the same as yours about her. And, I said if you want change then you must change. But, down to it, you don’t want this woman anymore. You want a fit woman who will bear you children. Looking at it from your point of view, divorce and pay her monthly alimony. Find another woman and pay for the new marriage with kids.

    When I got married, I will not cheat on my wife and never leave her unless that will be what she wants. I try to remember affection and humor is the best medicine. I don’t push her. I want her happy not worrying about how life is going due to her husband’s demands. Well, to each their own.

    I hope you find it in yourself to change your habits. Find that part of you that can inspire your wife to achieve your goals and make you happy. Good luck.


    Thank you for your response to this, especially from a male’s perspective.  I had responded a few days ago in much the same way and then kept wondering if my response was the result of being triggered.  And yes I think I was triggered. as women often are because of experiences with these types of personality.

    Bottom line A, we hope the best for both of you, whether it is finding separate paths or for you to join paths but with empathy, a different perspective and approach, and love.


    His is a male perspective too. Only his is rooted in what he wants, selfish needs. There must have been some attraction in the beginning?? To get married? Arranged?? I do not know. So, what becomes of the other person when everything becomes what he wants and not what they want? That was the trigger for me.

    I understand he wants kids but to dump all the blame on his wife? She won’t lose weight so we can not have kids? I mean who doesn’t want to have babies when they are in a marriage? But to be selfish about it and blame the partner? I wish I could take a rolled up newspaper and hit him on the nose and say bad dog. But, we are here for support and a kind word. Not to judge and criticize. Advice and help. To make things better?

    Sometimes I forget that and go off. I apologize for my out burst. I do not want to hurt another human being. Or any animal. So, I take a deep breath and hope better sense comes out of me. I wish you all well. Namaste.

Viewing 4 posts - 16 through 19 (of 19 total)

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