DearLady F:

I think that there is something for her, something simple- validate her emotions, whatever they are, sadness, despair, anger, hope. Whatever it is.

Behind every emotion there is a positive motivation- to help oneself and others.

what do you think Lady F?

Anita

Dear Lady F:

I wanted to expand on my message from yesterday, now that I have more space to elaborate.

When someone is trapped in depression, their emotions can feel isolated, unheard, or even invalidated by those who—often with good intentions—try to “fix” them. But emotions don’t need fixing—they need space. You can support your sister by creating that space for her emotions in a way that feels safe and accepting.

Ways to Support Her:

1. Instead of offering her solutions, you might say:

“I hear you, and I can see how much you’re struggling.”

“It makes sense that you feel that way, and I’m here to listen.”

Hearing acceptance of her emotions without judgment can be deeply grounding and remind her that her feelings matter.

2. If she says things like “Nothing I do matters” or “I’ll never accomplish anything,” instead of contradicting her with statements like “You do matter!” or “You can accomplish anything you want!” (which may feel hard for her to accept), try shifting the perspective gently:

“I know it might feel that way right now. But I see so much in you, even if you can’t see it yet.”

“You’ve overcome more than you realize, and I believe in you.”

Small shifts like these plant seeds for future self-recognition, without forcing positivity when she isn’t ready for it.

3. Depression makes everything feel overwhelming, but gentle actions can slowly create movement:

Invite her to join you for a walk, a movie, or a quiet coffee outing—low-pressure activities that remind her she’s not alone.

Help her explore her dreams without pressure by asking gentle questions like, “What’s one small step toward something that matters to you?”

Offer non-verbal support, like sitting with her in silence or sending a lighthearted text if talking feels too difficult.

4. Take care yourself, as Alessa wisely suggested. Your own well-being matters too. If you need time to step away and recharge, you can let her know:

“I’m always here for you, and I care deeply. But I also need to take care of myself so I can keep showing up in the best way I can.”

Depression isn’t something anyone can fix, but love, presence, and validation can make a difference. Even if she struggles to see her worth right now, your steady support reminds her that it exists.

Sending you and your sister strength, Lady F. 💛

anita

Dear Lady F:

You’re very welcome, and thank you for your kind words!

Your admiration for your sister is truly beautiful—it’s clear how much you respect her strength and perseverance. While I don’t know if this applies to her specific experience with depression, sometimes, even well-meant encouragement can unintentionally add pressure, especially if she already feels like she’s falling short of expectations.

If that resonates, perhaps rather than focusing on her potential or how much she’s fighting, the most healing thing might be to simply let her know there’s no pressure at all—no need to succeed, prove anything, or “fix” herself. Just that she is enough as she is, even in the hardest moments.

Depression can make even the most ambitious person feel stuck or disconnected from their goals, and sometimes the best support isn’t about pushing forward—it’s about offering presence without expectation. Knowing she is loved, not for what she accomplishes, but simply for who she is.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. 💛

Anita