Dear Jack:

“if we can’t avoid replaying our story in our head, we’d better to distort it in our favour than against.”

Best not to distort any story. Better tell it like it is. Sickness and dysfunction reside in distortions. The whole principle of being buddha like awake, is to see the bare minimum of what is, that is – the truth after peeling off all distortions, in your favor or against.

There is no bliss in ignorance (“ignorance is bliss”) and there is no bliss in distorting in your favor. The example you gave may help you, let’s say, in an interview for a teaching position, but if you get the job based on the distortion you introduced into the interview and you end up in a classroom- same discipline problems and the truth will become clear to the employer.

anita

P.S. I think that you and I, Jack, are the only ones on tiny buddha tonight. It’s been very slow lately AND tonight is Thanksgiving Eve in the U.S. I am here because I am home alone, my choice, but this night and tomorrow are the most family oriented holiday in the U.S. People commit suicide being alone on Thanksgiving. Not that I recommend it, not at all. Neither am I considering it. But I am alone on Thanksgiving, by choice, and it feels so STRANGE, so very strange. But I digress. You and I may be the only ones. If someone else reads this, please make yourself known.

Dear Jack:

Any time you disagree with me, is fine with me. I like you whether you agree or disagree with me just the same. Whenever you don’t feel like discussing anything anymore, like on the other thread this evening- that is fine with me. i will let it go!

I am all for forgiving ourselves, yes, I am. All for patting ourselves on the back. I also think of life as a kind of survival show: every evening I say to myself (I do): I have THIS evening and maybe I will have tomorrow morning. And this is all I have and all I ever had. When I was 20, and it was evening time, all I had was that evening and maybe the morning after.

I am also all for FRESH EYES and (some) goals. I like your goal – to make a difference to someone’s life. Interesting- didn’t I post too you this very evening that I was doing IST while on my walk? So with your IST and you standing up for me on this very forum, I assure you that you made and are making a difference in my life! So there, goal achieved with this tiny buddha member.

The truth of an incident is only ONE. An accident that happened, happened only ONE way. Different witnesses will give different testimonies because of all the distortions they perceived about the accident. It didn’t happen in the five different ways described by five witnesses. It happened one way only.

And so about anything- lots and lots of people are authors of fiction.

Please feel free to disagree with me anytime, Jack. And feel free to stop our exchanges when you get tired of those at any one time (I do go on and on and on with my thinking…)

anita

Oh, jack, I am honoring your thread with a quote that my Ventura, California therapist emailed me on 4/7/2012. This is a direct quote from his email to me:

“Perhaps because of my privileged position “outside” your experience, I can view your current struggles as part of the journey…, as you successfully survived abuse, trauma, loss and grief, and rather amazingly carved out a more authentic and stable life. So, in a sense, to me what’s happening now is simply what’s next.

But your experience is, of course, not to be minimized. “What’s next” is indeed intense, frightening, and very difficult. So I understand that continuing the process of recovery is not an easy decision, especially since there are no guarantees of quick relief or simple solutions. So I deeply respect your reticence to carry on in therapy.”

It was one of the times after stopping therapy and going back. This is part of My Story then.

anita

Hi Anita,

I’m making myself known, as I am all alone on Thanksgiving Eve.
Don’t get your hopes up though, I won’t be offing myself tonight.

I actually didn’t know that Thanksgiving Eve is a holiday, let alone the most family oriented holiday of the year. If I had known, I would have taken the day off and started celebrating.

I’m listening to your radio station and trying to relate…nothing yet.
I am sure that something will be worth of my time and hint to my intense, frightening, and very difficult future.

I can’t believe you are alone tonight too! It’s preposterous that someone that is so honest and sweet is choosing loneliness on this important holiday. Maybe your evening walk and rubber necking is really important to you. Perhaps it is the hobby that helped you to be so amazingly compassionate. I thought I saw that in a post once, directed toward yourself. You’re so much like Buddha!

Stay strong tonight, I need you to keep posting so I can sustain my paranoia about my future. How exciting (hilarious?) it is to confirm that your stories are never distorted. I thought you were legit!

Happy Thanksgiving!

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone on this holiday, if it brings you peace to be by yourself. My older brother at times skips family holidays because he doesn’t feel like being social with a bunch of people at my Moms house. My Mom loves the holidays and loves seeing all her kids at the house and all of us spending time together. Since I’m only home until tomorrow morning, I’ve made sure to do everything I can to make Thanksgiving easy tomorrow. She needed an electrical carving knife and some metal turkey roaster/holder for the oven from Bed Bath & Beyond and she was so happy when I brought her those two things to her house tonight. I bought all the groceries from Whole Foods on Monday, including the turkey and all the fixings/dishes that goes along with it from Whole Foods too. My Mom is the only parent I have left and every moment is precious & valuable to me, so buying her everything for thanksgiving every year is something I love to do for her since she’s the one who does mostly all the cooking. It’s what she loves and so I definitely don’t mind paying the grocery bill on the holidays.

However anybody chooses to spend this holiday is entirely up to them, as long as it brings all of you peace, comfort and happiness is all that really matters.

Much love to you all!

Hi Everyone! Happy Thanksgiving, no matter HOW you spend it! 🙂

Getting back to the original question, at my darkest hour, I can think of how I was Abandoned by Father, a victim, had failed, am not living up to my potential/”potential”, have had a spiritual identity crisis…

On my brightest day I can think of how I am the Princess Archetype, as well as a Priestess, Magician and Artist Archetype! How I met and married my soulmate, have three gorgeous children, am living “the Dream” in a nice house in a nice neighborhood, and how I’m in the prime of life.

It’s like the movie Bambi LOL. You can only watch the scenes where he’s playing with his mother and his forest friends, and falling in love and having children of his own. Then it’s the best movie in the world! Or you can only watch the scenes where he’s being chased by Man, his mother dies, he fights off a rival stag, is attacked by a pack of dogs, is shot himself and falls off a waterfall. Then it’s “What the heck is this Disney movie?!?”

I know most of us aren’t religious, but I found this gem of a passage in Psalms: “Forget your father’s house… Your sons will be princes throughout the land”. It’s like it was written for me, personally, on a spiritual level.

Take comfort where and how you can. And having a positive outlook is better than a kick in the azz.

Blessings,

Inky