Home→Forums→Health and Fitness→My Yoga Gatekeeping :(
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Peter.
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September 17, 2023 at 1:11 pm #422180
ArdenParticipantWhen I read “It helped you when nothing (and no one) else did.” it make me burst into tears since I kind of guessed, now Anita will compare yoga into something and that will make brilliant sense.
You didn’t mind sharing it with people whom you believed could benefit from it, but this woman, this frenemy, as you refer to her, already has SO MUCH. Why does she want to take away from you the one thing that is yours?
I guess I just wanted my yoga to stay calm, without any interference. And she asked me a few questions while doing it, like, can you do that pose, can you do that one, or this one. Then I realized over the years, I’ve just did my practices without trying to do more. Just what I was comfy with, nothing more. I felt a bit bad about it, but when you think about it, I have no reason to be ambitious on those practices. Whatever I feel like doing should be okay. I felt like she was able to do some poses and then compared herself to me. I’ll try to forget this ever happened and ignore the upcoming questions.
What I see- based on our years-long communication- is a person who has had a weak sense of self, a weak identity for too long. This other woman has a strong sense of identity (however flawed): she thinks very highly of herself, and this is something that you don’t have, but wish you did.
This made me want to take a note of it. I don’t know how to correct this but I can sometimes just hide, in terms of what I feel. Then I earn for new ways to express those hidden feelings. Maybe in the past, I never expressed them. But now, I really want to express and I am not sure but I might’ve been even passive aggressive about some stuff, which I actually hate and cannot stand in other people. I will observe myself.
September 18, 2023 at 10:01 am #422215
anitaParticipantDer Arden:
When I read “It helped you when nothing (and no one) else did.” it make me burst into tears since I kind of guessed, now Anita will compare yoga into something and that will make brilliant sense.
“I just wanted my yoga to stay calm, without any interference. And she asked me a few questions while doing it, like, can you do that pose, can you do that one, or this one…. when you think about it, I have no reason to be ambitious on those practices. Whatever I feel like doing should be okay. I felt like she was able to do some poses and then compared herself to me“- reads like she was competitive with you, and this is not what yoga is supposed to be: it’s supposed to be calming, to promote contentment, not competition.
Connecting this to the reply I just sent you on your newer thread, she brought drama into your yoga, and yoga is supposed to be drama-free!
“I am not sure but I might’ve been even passive aggressive about some stuff, which I actually hate and cannot stand in other people. I will observe myself“- I never noticed passive-aggressive behavior on your part, not toward me and not toward the people in your life about whom you shared.
“I can sometimes just hide, in terms of what I feel. Then I (learn) new ways to express those hidden feelings. Maybe in the past, I never expressed them. But now, I really want to express“- you’ve been doing an excellent job expressing yourself, just like I wrote to you in my reply in your other thread less than half an hour ago (before reading your post on this thread): “what a genuine, spontaneous expression on your part, I appreciate it greatly!”
anita
September 18, 2023 at 10:03 am #422216anitaParticipantDear Arden: Please ignore the first two lines in my reply (it’s a quote from you that I forgot to remove from my reply before submitting it).
September 18, 2023 at 10:44 am #422217
PeterParticipantI guess I just wanted my yoga to stay calm, without any interference. And she asked me a few questions…
Like the monkey mind that tests us in the practice of meditation, we will be ‘tested’ in yoga.
The interesting question in my opinion isn’t if this person who’s focus seems to be on the physical aspects of yoga should or should not have challenged you on the physical aspects of yoga but why the questioning impacted your intention of a ‘calm’ practice?
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