I’ve got a friend that is very similar and every time I see the definition I see so many of his characteristics. I also met him when I had an emotional void (that I didn’t even realize I had) and, oddly enough, he was going through an “emotional issue” as well. We’d talk frequently but the conversations were always on HIS terms and even when he was LISTENING to my problem he wasn’t, really. Now that we’re both settled we only talk occasionally.

I basically just accept that he is who he is and I give up any expectations that he’ll behave any differently. He has his good points and can be fun to be around but our friendship is definitely more superficial. I’d recommend accepting who he is and backing up a bit. He’ll never be a CLOSE, reliable friend from what you’re saying and to expect it is to just set yourself up for constant disappointment.

Mishy, your friend sounds a lot like someone I recently was close to (but what we had recently ended).

Every interaction with him felt like getting a hit of a drug. I was filling a void and the things he would say to me “filled” that void. Unfortunately, things were one-sided in our relationship and he came and went as he pleased. The last time I heard from him was almost 2 weeks ago. He said we’d meet for coffee one last time and I could give him his things back. I texted him two days ago to set a time to meet and he never responded. At this point I don’t think he will because he’s unfortunately done this before. Just like you, I’ve deleted his number from my phone several times. It’s hard. I think about him multiple times per day, but this isn’t a healthy relationship.

I believe life is too short to invest energy in relationships that leave you feeling sad, confused, or unfulfilled. A real friend helps you grow as a person and genuinely cares for you. That’s what I believe anyway.