I agree, I was probably being defensive. Inky I accept that I may have been harsh and apologize.

I went off to cook breakfast and was also singing a Beatles song in my head–Give Peace a Chance.
Thanks Jock, anita, Inky

I am happily humbled
Seaisland

I am guilty of so much of same things u worry about. worried about being perceived differently than intended when trying to be kind,etc.

You wrote something similar to you didn’t know what a slaughtered pig would sound like-and my thoughts were how much I did know what a pig did sound like. I grew up with both grandparents being farmers.

I spent my childhood in a backwards little town where racism, guns, and ignorance was the norm. It was a sin to dance in churches eyes. We went to church 4 hours on Sundays and then again on Wednesday night. Very little of what they tried to teach me sunk in except feeling guilty or ashamed. But I still was often a free spirited rebellious wild child with some major hang ups.

I am like you in that I do only eat meat that is humanly raised. I rarely eat red meat and only because I had a pot belly pig can I no longer enjoy pork. He ruined bacon for me. But I laughed when you said about the pig squeal because I thought of my pig. I used to keep a harness on him and walk him. When we would come across a bunch of acorns-he would want to stay and eat and eat. when I pulled his leash he would squeal like I was killing him. Now the harness was so I never did–he just wanted to stay and eat and eat. Neighbors would come out of their houses because the noise was so loud. It was deafening.

I am like you that I worry about being rejected when I am trying to be myself and do not want to offend. I believe you and I will always be ok with each other. We are part of the mutual admiration club that we never tried to become members of.

Seaisland

I once left a husband who I should have left years before-based on inaccurate projection. I should have left him because he was selfish, drunk, beat holes in the walls, tore doors of the frames. Beat me when I tried to stop him.

one day I had lunch ready and he came home for work and couldn’t find something………I tried to help him find it, but he yelled at me “GO EAT YOURSELF” I was so insulted, it was the last straw. I packed up what I could in my little car–took $40 and never came back–moving 3 hours away.

Later I realized he meant for me to go eat my lunch without him. I laughed then and I laugh now. Thanks for the memory

Thanks–I hope when Jock reads this (and others) he knows how much good this thread of “never stop searching” has done to make this day happier and feel a kinship.

off for now
Seaisland

Dear All:

You are all spoiling bacon for me… (attempted joke)- I really am having fun with this thread and appreciate the latest posts by all of you: Seaisland, Inky and jock! What a pleasure in the middle of this grey day!

anita